PCOS Message Board - View Single Post - How do I approach adopting a family memebers child?

ProudPCOMom · 03-31-2009, 03:38 PM

Sounds like a very difficult decision, especially since this is family. I would be reluctant to bring adoption up to her Mom.

I would probably start by offering to let the cousin spend some weekends at your house. Invite her for a trip to the park (or amusement park), vacation, sleepover after a movie-night, etc. This would give her Mom a break to do what she wants. Try to be more like a very involved Big Sister. Offer to take her to school the Monday after the weekends that she stays with you - make it easy for her Mom to allow you to spend time with her.

Slowly encourage her Mom to get her on State Insurance. I know in my state, there are programs through Medicaid that can help with children's health insurance at little or no cost. Offer to help take your cousin to the DR for check-ups and other visits. Be a moral support for Mom. I wouldn't mention the SSI benefits or you'll likely get into an arguement with the Mom and you won't have access to help your cousin at all.

If your parents evict them, offer to take your cousin in so that she can remain in a school she has already attended. At that point, I would ask for legal documentation that you have some rights to have her in your custody, enroll her in school, and take her to necessary DR visits (make sure she can be on Insurance, find out what you would need to do to put her onto your insurance - you may need some type of guardianship to do this). Be prepared to allow her Mom to visit her whenever she wants, but don't offer to allow Mom to stay too.

If CPS is ever involved, make sure to let the authorities know that you would accept her as a relative placement.

I would consider this an 'eggshell' situation, tread lightly and always with your cousin's best interests at heart. Even if adoption never happens.

Susan