I have known for 14 years that I have PCOS. When I was dating my first husband and he mentioned marriage I decided that it would be wrong not to tell him about my health issues and the potential issues with conceiving. I would say it was about 3 months into the relationship when he brought up marriage and I just basically asked him if he would want children. He said yes so I explained to him that I have a condition that can make conceiving extremely difficult and can cause other health issues and that we may need fertility assistance to have children. I gave him time to think about it and we ended up married 5 years later. Unfortunately, I found out after two years of marriage that he didn't want children until he was older and had finished "having a good time". He had known that I was told that I should try to have my first child by age 25 and that should make it easier. He waited until after I was 25 to say that he was ready for kids and then when we started fertility treatments he did practically everything in his power to sabotage them. During the divorce, which happened for many reasons, he said he was glad that we never had kids because he never wanted kids with me anyways. In hindsight I am glad that we failed to have children as well because it would have been terrible to put them thru the divorce too. I have since remarried to a wonderful man who is very supportive. When he and I were dating about 2 months he asked me to marry him (we had been friends for a while and he knew that I had been TTC with my ex). I got to relive the conversation again by asking if he wanted children. Unlike my ex he was quick to respond that he wanted children like crazy. I explained about the PCOS and the difficulties with conceiving and health issues and all and then patiently waited for him to decide if it was a problem. He was quick to respond that he still wanted to be with me and would be there no matter what it took to give us children. We got married in 2007 and have been TTC since and he is still just as supportive. I guess the point is that you have to decide how serious your relationship is. Do you think that your relationship is on the track to potentially wanting to conceive a child with the person? |