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Originally Posted by babygirl18905  OK I kinda agree with the putting your foot down and letting him know your ready to walk BUT, you also don't want him just to agree to keep you. Sorry I am living it now and to be honest I'm not sure why. YOU should never try to intimidate your spouse by giving them a choice between you and a child if they don't agree then you need to decide you are going to leave and file for divorce or follow steps to get out of the relationship you can adopt as a single parent if you are financially stable and have a good home.. |
I'm sorry your adoption experience has been so negative. It seems strange to me that the judge would ask you to make such a drastic change in your life before allowing you to adopt - he should have made the decision on you as-is.
Please understand that I am not bashing you, just disagreeing with you.
I don't think your situation sounds typical, at all. If you and your spouse do not want the same things out of life - especially something as life-changing and un-compromisable as having children - then YES, you do need to reconsider your marriage.
Not for the purposes of intimidating your spouse, but for the purposes of being true to yourself and, as PP have said, not ending up bitter and resentful towards life/your spouse. I do have a relative who was in OP's position when she was in her twenties, back in the 1950s. She and her husband did not adopt, and IMO, yes, the bitterness did seep into every area of her life and relationships with other people, and remains that way half a century later. Not a great way to go through life.