Evabear -- I want to say good for you to go to another dr for a second opinion. I remember how tough it was on you with your previous doctor. I defintely think the surgery is WELL worth it
I found that grouping together my lap, hysteroscopy & D&C it made things cheaper. Since you've m/carried you may ask to also have these done to get more information. Since you will already be under this saves money and time and you get A LOT more answers (which we all love).
I know you can't always *plan* sex, but try some ibuprofen before you DTD. Also, I have a friend that does physical therapy for Endometriosis and that has helped a TON. I was also about to start physical therapy for Endometriosis. You may ask your dr about this option as well.