andi5285

I've been where you are at. Kinda still am sadly... I've had some steady friends since 7th grade. Pretty much all of us have been chubby at some point. I am the only one with PCOS that I know of, but regardless I was kind of lucky to have friends that "get it". I say KIND OF LUCKY because I think we also fed each others insecurities and enabled bad behavior. Also, they have always put much more emphasis on outward appearances and boys and partying and all that than I have, which gave me a bit of a complex. I was officially dx'd when I was 15. It all started around 13/14 years old for me, gained a lot of weight in a short period of time, periods stopped, etc. I had a hard time with drs because I was so young they didn't really want to treat me.

What I wish I had done when I was 15 is really start to take care of myself. I don't know if you exercise or what type of diet you follow but take my word for it, do it now! Do not put it off! My friends and I loved to go out to eat and I didn't want to feel left out so I ate what they ate and now I am paying the price at age 24. High school can be rough for everyone, but even worse when you are overweight. However, what I have learned the hard way is that college is worse than HS. I wish I had fixed the problem when I first learned about it. I could have saved myself years of being too afraid to do anything, go to class, talk to people, really engage myself in the college experience all because I felt too fat and unworthy. FELT is the key word. I spent two years in therapy, failed several classes or withdrew altogether, and wasted more money than I care to think about. It makes me so sad to think that at 15 and 200 pounds I could have done so much more and saved myself so much time and heartache.

Bottom line, no matter what size you are there's always going to be a style that looks better on someone else. There are always going to be shallow people out there. We have no control over anyone but ourselves. Take care of yourself and you will be a confident, happier you. You don't have to look like a model for people to like you. I am a size 22 right now, my highest weight was 308 (eek) and I still managed to be a vice president in my service fraternity and take on other leadership roles. It required taking risks on my part, because I believed people wouldn't like me because of my appearance. Truth is people do judge, and some people didn't pay much attn to me maybe for that reason (never cared to ask), but those people don't matter. There were plenty others who didn't care one bit. Doing things that are important to me make me feel better about myself. Helping others does wonders for self esteem (and volunteering is a great way to meet people that are like minded). Most importantly if people aren't treating you with respect and love cut them loose. Seek out people that accept you the way you are and never settle for less. Don't worry so much about fitting in. Take care of yourself, do things you enjoy, focus on school, and the rest will all fall into place.

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