Hi NorthSouth. It looks like it's been awhile since you've been on the thread but I wanted to throw in my reply.
When I first started reading through the thread I thought it was MY husband posting. For real - I had to read very carefully to convince myself it wasn't. My husband and I deal with the same issue - we've been married for 12 years, have an almost 7 year old son and while I'm typically a very happy person I just can't deal with my PCOS. I have known I have PCOS for about 11 years now. When I try to buckle down and really deal with my issues I just find myself frustrated, angry and depressed. I was able to maintain my weight (although always trying to lose) for many years but the last 3 years I have steadily been gaining and other PCOS symptoms have increased. Diets work okay for me but maintaining is impossible. I have chronic fatigue and I have days where I just can't function. Long story short - I feel your pain... my husband does too!
My husband recently took up cooking. It started when he decided to make a special dinner for me a few months ago and he realized that he actually enjoyed cooking. I LOVE when he cooks. My issues with cooking are many - #1: I don't have the energy or motivation to plan meals in advance so when it comes time for dinner I'm at a loss as to what to make. I always have in my mind that I need to eat healthy but that's hard to do when you don't plan ahead so then I just decide not to eat. (I know - doesn't make much sense). #2: For some reason I don't have much of an appetite for anything I make. I'll eat pretty much anything other people make but when I make things - they're "gross". And I could go on - suffice it to say - I have food issues. So when my husband cooks it takes so much stress off of my shoulders. I know he works so hard at his job so I don't want to add "my duties" to his but I'm considering talking to him about setting up a schedule where he cooks a couple nights a week. AND if I talk to him about the kinds of foods that I need to be eating then I know he'd do great with coming up with a great dinner. He really enjoys looking for recipes online and trying them out. I think you could really help your wife out a lot by taking on some of the cooking. You can plan the meals together and even make them together but if you take the initiative to help her out with planning healthy meals that will help her energy and her body and probably motivate her to do better. When my husband makes dinner because he knows I'm not going to I feel really guilty so I try harder next time (unspoken guilt works for me!).
Like so many have said - don't bring up the weight issue. My husband is just like you and is SO good to tell me that he loves me just as I am, etc, etc. but it honestly doesn't do a whole lot for me because I know what I am and if I'm not happy with myself it doesn't really matter what he tells me (although it's so much better to hear that than him complaining about my weight!!). I recently started training to run a 5K and that has really helped me focus on getting healthy - and hopefully losing weight will eventually come along. It also helps because if I'm not eating properly I have really hard runs but when I'm eating well my running is so much easier - so that alone is great motivation.
And then there's the Metformin thing. I was taking Metformin when I got pregnant and although I've been prescribed it again I refuse to take it. It made me so sick! You asked it if was worth it to be sick when you know the meds might help you - I say no. I have a hard enough time dealing with my bodily woes as it is - I don't need to feel like I have morning sickness day in and day out. AND I now have liver issues - which probably isn't a result of taking the metformin, but I don't dare risk taking anything that will aggrivate my liver.
I honestly don't know what the answer is to get your wife motivated to deal with her PCOS, but hopefully some of what I have mentioned will help you. As far as getting her on the boards - if she's like me - they're a great resource when you need them but I don't like spending a lot of time on them because it just reminds me of how frustrating my body is. I've done a ton of research on PCOS over the years and have read a ton of books and just recently I told myself that I need to be more active on the boards so I can more focus on my condition and motivate myself more.... well, it doesn't work that way for me. I know what I need to do to try to tackle my PCOS and I have found that what helps me most is the support I get from my husband - and for me the biggest support he gives me is to take over some of the cooking responsibilities.
I commend you for taking an active roll in trying to help your wife. Good luck!! (and sorry I posted a book!!) |