Thank you all for your support. In my week of an ADD moment I forgot to check this post.
I do cherish the 8 years of friendship that we had but I felt guilty for not being his active friend (getting together to hang out, etc.) for the past year and a half.
I went to temple last night (I'm Jewish) and it did help somewhat - there was a prayer about events causing pain and looking inside to God for insight; that and the sense of community at temple (I even saw my dermatologist who prescribed Spironolactone and other PCOS meds for my skin!) did help.
I think when I have thoughts of him in a casket (which fortunately I didn't see) or his grave I am most anxious and upset. I even had a dream this week that I was looking through different albums of the two of us and on one page that was blank there were pictures of people having hanged themselves.
Hopefully some of those dreams will subside. Thank you so much for the support, I am still in grief and mourning for the loss of such a talented, funny, and handsome guy who can't be replaced but as soon as I can get my printer working I'm going to type him a letter, fold it up, put it in a balloon and let it float up to the sky. |