This stinks, there is no other way to describe it. Being around people who are pregnant, be them family or friends, only brings up how inadequate you feel. When I was engaged I was diagnosed. I went home and had the "you may never have children with me and I'll understand if you want to break up" talk with him. That was the hardest thing I had ever done, but just by doing it I felt like I had someone to share my burden with, thus making it lighter.
My sister-in-law annouced that she was pregnant one month after we were married. Then his family (which is huge and rather clannish) starts in on me and my husband, for the first year I told him to keep it between us, it wasn't any of their buisness. So we came up with other excuses: we wanted to get out of debt, own our own house, be married at least five years, etc. Then his cousins all got pregnant and most of his married friends (he's 5 years older than me so it wasn't that suprising) as well. Then four women in my department got preganant and I couldn't hide it any more. I found two women in my office who have PCOS who I didn't know about. Suddenly it was easier, when the pregnancy annoucements came I could go to them and they'd cry with me. And when one of them got preganant for the first time I was genuinely happy for someone because I knew they understood what that ment for me.
Keeping secrets is hard, the truth eventually turns out. If there is someone in your life who you think could understand I urge you to talk to them. My family is also critical and I don't talk to them about it other than to tell them I have lots of Doctors appointments (which is about all the care to know). I know it sucks and finding this board will offer lots of support *hugs* |