dstaiger

jen - i'm so sorry. its been a month for me since our son died and i swing back and forth from good days to bad days. i don't know how to help, but i do understand.
one thing that has helped me (i got this from a book) is to set a specific time to talk with dh about my feeling. the book calls it a twenty minute something, i forgot the name sorry. dh and i sit down and i have ten minutes to get everything off my chest - rage, tears, disappointment, and disbelief. then he has ten minutes to do the same. we began this at one week after loss and did it every day until recently. now it seems to be every other day unless one of really needs to talk. it helped me by not making me feel like i was dwelling or harping, and it helped him come out of his shell - he ends to bottle things up but having a set time to talk got him to open up. i'd never done anything like this before and i thought he would think me crazy. i just told him i need to talk, vent, and i need him to help me.
some other things that have helped me are venting on here, and reading books on pregnancy loss. i bought several but my favorite one is "silent sorrow" by ingrid kohn.
please let yourself feel. your a mom whose baby died and if you hold in the grief it will destroy you.
if you need to chat/vent/cry feel free to pm me.
dianna

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