s~tyro

Thank you for the advice/support. It helps me remember that I'm not alone. Even though we're forever linked in a way we wish we weren't. Our early losses were thought to be from low progesterone. Our Christmas Angel was probably a heart defect (based on the final ultrasound). We didn't have an autopsy performed because we were so out of our minds. Part of me wishes we knew the exact details behind the death, but the other part of me doesn't know if it would really help me.

I was coping much better than this the last couple of months. I even laughed...I mean truly laughed about a month ago. I was caught by surprise because it made me realize I hadn't done that in about a year and a half. It felt good and I thought to myself this is definitely a step in the right direction. I'm beginning to blame my change in mood on Yaz. My doctor put me on it a month ago because my ovary had developed a 7 cm cyst. (When I'm not on BCPs, my ovaries develop LARGE cysts). I think this pill is making me depressed. I thought Yaz was supposed to treat PMDD? Maybe it doesn't work for me.

We haven't completey shut the door on adoption, but (not to sound selfish) it's hard not feel like if we're meant to be parents we would be able to have our own. UUUGGGHHH!

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