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joyblack · 06-19-2009, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sexyswamprat

A lot of women talk about hair on the their chin and under their neck. I haven't heard to many women talk about having facial hair on their cheeks. I am 100% Italian so my facial hair is very dark, lets just call it what it is, black. And I have it all over my face. I feel like a monkey and god knows I look like one. I have to shave my entire face and I haven't felt like a woman for somtime now. I have been using Vaniqa since september with some improvement, but not as much as I was hoping for though. I am just really at a lose with the whole shaving thing and not sure how much more I can take. Having facial hair has effected almost every aspect and direction of my life. My younger sister made a comment to me once, she said "you have had this (facial hair) for so long you would think you would be used to it by now." I have to say I think that was one of the stupidest things I have ever heard her say. How does a woman get used to having facial hair and having to shave everyday? But I guess I kinda have to forgive her because unless you have the problem and deal with it on a daily basis how could you possibly know what it's like and how to get used to it.

So I'm curious, if your facial hair is on your entire face, like mine is, how do you deal with the day to day stares, and snickering? (short of locking yourself in your house) Because I have been dealing with this for the last 20 years of my life and not once has it ever gotton any easier or any better. I am fighting a battle that I know I can't win.

Well, I'm one of those Kristen describes who have got used to it and now accept it. And yes, I do shave with my DH every morning.

So what makes it bearable? Well, let me try to tell you some of the things that I think make me think of it in a non-negative way:

I recognize that whether I like it or not, it's a reality.
I recognize it for what it is -- whether I like it or not, I've got moustache and beard growth that's the same as a guy's -- and I refer to it as my moustache and my beard.
Shaving with a men's-type electric razor is much less intimidating than using a wet razor -- and my Philips Norelco rechargeable razor can go into my purse very discreetly without any problem.
From the day he met me, DH has never been put off by the fact that I have to shave every day.
Our kids have accepted the fact that their mom shaves every day, just like dad does and will grow a beard if she stops shaving.
The male family friends who sometimes stay overnight with us and who I've told, have all been extremely nice about it and it certainly hasn't spoiled my relationship with them -- just the opposite, in fact.
I don't get stares and comments in ordinary life -- once I've shaved in the morning, no-one would guess that I've got male-type beard growth. The only time I get stares and comments is if I quite deliberately let my beard grow in when we're on vacation away from our own home area. Of course I see people staring them, but that's hardly surpising, because I've chosen to breach societal norms.
Shaving takes less time than cleaning my teeth -- it doesn't need to be a big deal.
As far as not feeling like a woman is concerned, I don't compete in a race I can't win, so I don't pretend that I'm very feminine. I don't even have properly-developed breasts and that used to worry me no end as a teenager. But I am a woman. I've got children to prove the fact. I dress in skirts and wear my hair long, to make sure there's no confusion as to my gender. And I know that I'm attractive to my DH. I'm a wife and a mother. I suspect that I'm more successful than most women in terms of having a good relationship with men is concerned. so I don't feel threatened by my relative lack of femininity.