Hi Pamb,
I too am sorry for your loss. my mother passed from lung cancer 3 years ago at the age of 62. Each day does get a little better as you "adjust" to the change, but of course that doesn't mean that it wont still hurt. the symptoms you describe sound alot like mine. when my mom was sick i was just "not happy" all the time... (even when she was doing well) and I didnt know why. things I enjoyed just held no excitement for me and I snapped at everyone. god bless my best friend! we were both in our mid 20's and she convinced me to talk to my doctor... I was diagnosed with depression, and when I look back I had been fighting it for years but always thought: " I am a strong person, and that this was something that I would "get over"... that because I didnt feel suicidal, i obviously didnt have a depression issue... and that those feelings would go away on their own. I felt that their wasnt anything sooo bad in my life that I should be depressed, after all everyone has bad things happen in their lives and they dont fall to pieces over it.. " that was my mindset for 6 years and i did "get over it" or at least I thought I was coping... then my mom got sick, and it all came down about my ears. like I said... god bless my best friend! she saw the changes in my personality and knew that I couldnt fix it on my own.. especially since I didnt know what the problem was. she talked me into going to see my regular doctor who put me on 20 mg of prozac and had me go to a counselor through my work. It was just enough to help me cope with things... and later we upped my dosage to 30 mg. I was afraid to go to the dr at first... i knew I wasnt crazy, and didnt want to have to "talk" to anyone about it... I knew deep down that it was just a hormonal imbalance... and come to find out.. I was right. While your feelings may be your grieving process... it also may be something else.. dont hesitate to go to your doctor if this progresses.... If i had it to do over again... I would have gone to the dr 6 years earlier. my rx is just enough to give "me" back but it makes all the difference in the world. I am now able to enjoy a beautiful day, a happy napping kitty, and my hubby.
with much luv,
Stephanie |