Hi Pamb,
Sorry to hear about the loss of your Father.
I lost my Father suddenly 14 years ago to hear failure, he was only 56. It was hard the first few weeks and later when I found out that my Mother, who was with him when he died, did nothing to help him. She left him alone in the house and waited with the neighbours for 20 minutes for the ambulance to arrive. She was arguing with him when he died and was so angry with him that she just left him to die. She was always very selfish and I doubt she was thinking of the consequences at that moment.
It was hard at first, my Father and I were very close and shared the same hobbies. It was even harder watching my Mother spitefully sell off all his treasured possessions and figuring out what to do with myself on holidays when the family now consisted of my Mother and Brother and I. We weren't a family anymore, it was me and them... I was always closest to my Father. I married and moved far away to start a life completely my own.
I get along with the remains of my family long enough for a visit, but then I go back to my life. It's better that way. I've since divorced but I'm still close to my 'ex' relatives and have very good friends so I never feel alone.
14 years later I still keep a few things around to remember my Father. And I still think about him a lot, but they're good memories.
No matter how bad things seem at the moment, time will make it easier. The more time that passes the easier it gets. Take one day at a time and stick it out. Focus on what you have, family, friends, children, pets, whatever it takes to get you through the day. I put a lot of my time and energy into my work. When you get to the holidays do something completely different -- start a new tradition. It will get easier and easier and soon you'll feel that life is back to normal again. A different normal, but still normal. |