OMG!!!!!!! You are me!!! I do the exact same thing!! I start to plan everything around impending death...i know to other people it sounds crazy, but once i am on a kick...THATS IT. Firts of all, your not alone. Let me seee, First mines was a brain tumor. Its constantly a heartattack, and now stomach cancer...sheeezzzz...i be so exhaustd from worrying. However, its not at all healthy to do this. Not to encourage medicine, but i was able to get some control back over my life by praying, taking ativan, and walking...keeping busy. You have a wedding to plan, thow yourself into that full force. Just today i got a endometrial biopsy, you know where my mind is trying to take me right....NOT!!! i wont let it. i wont lie and say i dont have the bad thoughts..however, you cant live your life this way. My mind would constantly go to that place. My husband and our friends would talk about a upcoming vacation.....I would be thinking how i wont be able to go because of some cancer they may find, girl i can tell you some stories about my ER trips and blood lab stalking adventures(YES I WOULD STALK THE LAB WHERE I WORK IF I HAD A TEST DONE THERE, iT GOt THAT BAD).....trust me i been down that road, and as your reading this your like, SHE REALLY KNOWS WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT...YES i do. BUT, i am hear to tell you, you can have control over your life again, you just have to want it, Please try to get control now, i dont wish this on anyone!! WRITE ME ANYTIME SO WE CAN TALK!!!
