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Old 06-30-2009, 07:12 PM   #1 (permalink)
JulesInTexas
JulesInTexas
 
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Default Anger and Sadness

I just found out that a 'friend of a friend' is pregnant. She's one week ahead of where I would have been and my friend said - she's 9 weeks, so when's her due date and I could say it so fast that it just brought up the miscarriage like it happened yesterday. It's only been three weeks, but it's like any healing that happened is gone.

It also just reminds me that my mom didn't come into town when all this happened. My parents live out of town and were on a work trip when I started to miscarry three weeks ago. My mom had a layover in my city on the way back and didn't just get in a rental car and drive instead of taking the connecting flight. I'll see her this weekend for the 4th and all I can think is that when I see her the only thing I'll be able to say is "I never in my life imagined it would be a month after a miscarriage before I got a hug from my mom."

I have such a great relationship with my mom and I know she'd be completely crushed if I said that to her or if she knew I even thought it. I just think that it's been three weeks and still no mom hug and I can't help but cry. I feel like such a spoiled brat when I read this, but my parents are more than comfortable money-wise and even a same-day flight is less than $300.

I guess I just wanted to send this out into the world...not real sure why I wrote it, but it helps just to get things out.
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Diagnosed - 2004
Started TTC - May 2008

Clomid 50, 100, 150, 150 = BFN
1st Round Injections, IUI. BFP, m/c @ 5 weeks.
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