ok, i'm not the new kid in school. i've been using this board for 5 years, but i've never really connected with any other users or groups.
now my TTC efforts are really intensifying and i'm turning to this board more and more for support. but....
remember being new in school and you were like the outsider at lunch who didn't know which table to sit at? (i was never new in school, but i've seen movies, ok.) joining threads feels like sitting at the cool table, uninvited. everyone is all tight and they like each other and here i am squeezing in because i want to be in their group. i think it offends some people. and it DEFINITELY brands me as the weirdo who doesn't belong.
at first i thought if i found some threads that were relevent to my situation, i could join in and it would all be cool. haha, not really.
so what is the best way to be involved without crashing threads and being awkward???
__________________ 33 years old
married 4 years
Type II is under control!
need to lose 100 lbs.
I don't think there's really such a thing as "crashing" a topic when it's such a public board anyway. If you feel like posting, then post! That's what we're all here for.
And if you really feel uncomfortable asking questions and such in other people's topics, then just start your own.
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hey -- i've seen your signature before -- i use etsy too! www.folks.etsy.com
maybe i should start a thread for crafters/artists.
but really, you don't think people feel like a new poster is crashing when the same group has been in a thread for months and suddenly i'm in the mix? maybe i should start my own support thread. like i'll just sit at the empty table and see if anyone joins me.
__________________ 33 years old
married 4 years
Type II is under control!
need to lose 100 lbs.
i agree... we've all had to be the "new kid". If you see a thread that sparks your interest, go ahread and post. 9 times out of 10 I have found the thread to be very welcoming to new people and after a little time you feel like part of the group!
__________________ Erin (27) Dx with PCOS 3/2007 Conceived DS on Clomid/Metformin. BFP 6/1/07! Conceived baby #2 with no meds!! BFP 3/13/09 EDD 11/23 Its a GIRL!!!!
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There are so many threads that you can be a part of and there even is a scrapbooking thread! You just need to jump in , introduce yourself and see how it goes from there. I would also familiarize yourself with the thread and the ladies posting. Through their post you can learn a bit about their specific situation and you can address them. It shows that you are taking in interest in them as well.
There ttc#1, ttc 2,3 etc, ttc after a loss(es), ttc with mf. OMW, the list goes on and on.
I hope you find one that fits you! Good luck!
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I feel your pain as a newbie! I have no problem posting or responding to individual posts, but those big group postings are pretty intimidating. I've lurked on several, but I've also found some of them are already tight and not really open to newbies. It is hard to jump right in when there are often months or even years of history there.
Plus, I've noticed that since there are so many and they're so active that they tend to bump down individual posts soon after they're posted. I feel like I miss many interesting posts since I'm not in a group and I'm also missing a lot of the individual posts that get quickly bumped down. So, my plan is to keep lurking on a few groups, get to know the members and when I feel more comfortable with a group and can make a meaningful contribution to it, start posting.
Or, maybe start some new groups for the rest of us who aren't already in one!
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but really, you don't think people feel like a new poster is crashing when the same group has been in a thread for months and suddenly i'm in the mix?
Honestly? I don't think it bothers anyone. Maybe on your first post in the thread, ask if you can join in, and give a bit of your background, and move on from there
When I was growing up, we moved every year or two, so I was ALWAYS the new kid on the block, so i know how you feel.
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i'm having the same sort of issue IRL. since we are in a new city, i don't have any local friends yet. i've checked out all the local sewing groups, writing groups, meetup.com groups. there are many i am curious about, but i don't know where to get the nerve to get involved. my friends tells me everyone is as dorky and insecure as we are, but it still feels like breaking into a private party.
__________________ 33 years old
married 4 years
Type II is under control!
need to lose 100 lbs.
I agree everyone is so friendly and welcoming here. I dont think there will be any issues and you should just jump right in a thread if it interests you or like others have said make up one if you cant find the right one or ten that fit you! By the way WELCOME sweetie!!
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I totally understand how you feel! When I first found this site, I was intimidated to post on large threads too. But as everyone has said, we really are all here to support each other!!! I have found endless support from the women here, more so than with family or friends. Just be patient.
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I was the new kid a lot at school, so as I've grown, my lunch table always ahs room for one more, ya know.
I'm not TTC until after I'm married ( like imediatly after) but my advise i to jump in, introduce yurself and your story (how long TTC specific things you do for scrapbooking, ect) maybe read the last 5 or so posts, answer questions or comment, that way your in the conversation. it may take a feww posts for someone to answer you don't take that pewrsonally, sometimes people just look for their name and respond quickly, I do that form time to time if I can't go through every post.
a ? about board etiquette, joining threads 
