Last night i finally admited to my husband of 2 yrs and several months, ( but known him for almost 6 yrs this dec. ) That i have depression. Just over 12 years. I've never been diagnosed but i've felt the way i do for about this long.
I couldn't tell you the exact day it started, but i know about the time of year. It's progressively gotten worse over the years, and at it's most worse, i came very close to commiting suicide by pills ( or at the very least making my self very ill. ) I was on BCP's at the time. Yet no one thought anything of it.
I dont know about anyone else or how theirs shows to the out side world. But for me mine shows it's ugly head by control issues, unkept home, if i dont have to go to work, i'm unkepmt and quiet honestly i dont shower, i dont move far from my couch, It's even a struggle to get dressed on those days. I'm forgetfull of simple things that i do daily. Loss of interest in my cats. Whom to me are my children. constant aggitation at the smallest of things, kids being a little silly ( dh has 14 g, and 11b), cats walking on me sometimes, dh not talking loud enough, yet honestly he's talking in his normal tone. I eat constantly, it's almost crazy how much i eat.
It's taken me over 12 yrs now to even say, admit to having Depression. I'm scared out of my mind about this. I dont know how to deal. I'm scared to talk with my GP for fear that she'll tell me like my husband did who didn't quite understand what i was trying to tell him. Well get up and exercise. I'd love to......especially with the modivation being Diabetic and knowing what could happen if i dont get it undercontrol. I still have no energy what so ever to get up and move.
My husband wants me to get help. I want to get help with councling as well as medication/supplements. I just dont know where to start.
Anything would be a great help.
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Recognizing my depression was the best thing I ever did, so you should feel good about getting to the point where you can begin to treat the problem.
While depression manifests itself in many forms, once you've started to work with your medical team, don't discount the effect of diet on your moods.
Low fat diets actually trigger depression in me. HORRIBLE depression. I'm able to keep mine at bay by regularly consuming fish oil, and working out on a regular basis (even if it's just walking for 10 minutes a couple of times a day.)
My moods are also worse when I don't get enough sunlight or sleep, so I work to get enough of both.
It's been 13 yrs of this. It started the summer i turned 16. Ever sence it's been an up and down roller coaster. My husband didn't even realize what was going on. Though he's been though it because of drugs.
Last night i told my kids what was going on. My daughter especially knew something was up but wasn't sure what. She'd always ask me what was wrong.
I have an appoinment set up for next month to see my GP. And talk with her about this. I know through Kaiser they have groups and counclers for depression and i'll be getting in with that. Years ago I used to have horrible pannic attacks at the mention of the world needle, and what you discribed everything closing in, thats what i went through. I've sence dealt with that issue and dont have the P.A's anymore over it.
As far as my work that seems to be the place i have the least amount of problem with my depression. I'm the only other person who works at my job beside the dr. It's a one women show around there lol. Some of the issues this stems from run so deep ummmm sadly i'd talk her ear off all day and flood the office......But i'll at least be talking with her about some kind of treatment.
Thanks for your support everyone. Kat i'll be checking out that link definatly.
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Last edited by silvermoon_sleepingwolf; 09-30-2006 at 05:59 PM.
I just recenlty (last week) saw a councellor. I think I have had depression and anxiety my whole life. I've been off and on meds since my early 20's (I am 29) now. I would go off of them because I didn't feel like I had a problem and I sure as heck didn't want anyone knowing. I've had the same things...crying for no reason out of the blue, can't get off the couch, loss of interest is social activities, excersise, sex, hobbies, my dogs, cleaning the house, etc. It is a horrible feeling. I hate being in large crowds or on buses or planes and things I can't control. I've had a few panic attacks too. I am contantly sweating, even in cool weather or in air conditioning. I am glad that I am finally trying to get a handle on this. My 20's have been miserable and I will turn 30 in April and I don't want my 30's to be like my 20's. There seems to be so much stuff going on with me with my depression/anxiety/PCOS, etc. that somedays I feel like I will never get control. I especially want to lose weight. About 5 years ago, I weighted about 160 lbs and everyone would always tell me that I needed to lose weight, etc. Today, I am pushing 270lbs. When I look back at my 160 weight, I looked so good. I can't believe I let others make me feel like i was so huge....I need to re-gain my self-esteem too. I am well put together, confident on the outside but on the inside I am all nerves all the time.
I would suggest getting on some medication and talking to a consellor for starters. I will let you know if I try any other methods on my journey to get better.....
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My mother and her father are both bipolar. I have always struggled with mood swings. Lately I seem to be getting worse. I will stay in all weekend, and most of the week except for work of course. I will happily not shower, not cook, not walk my dog, not clean. I recently started living with my boyfriend....and if he watches tv in the den all night and doesn't talk to me at all, well I'm alright with that too. And believe me, I definately act like a jerk more often than not to him, over the slightest things. I am lucky he still loves me at all. I feel like a fat pig, and frankly I look like one, too. I have friends, but I have no interest in seeing them or talking to them; I ignore their (and other's) calls frequently. It is almost one in the morning and I was just lying in my bed hating my life. I hate my job I hate the way I look- and mostly I hate hating everything. I saw a psychiatrist for a while many years ago, and even took anti-depressants, but frankly I can't afford to go see one now, and I am afraid. I don't want to be told that I am bipolar, or anything even like that. I was only recently diagnosed with PCOS, and part of me hopes that my mood swings are my new meds, but part of me just thinks this is how I am and how I will be forever. I wish I could just be a happy healthy person. Sorry this post is so long and lame, I just needed to get this off my chest so I can try to fall asleep, and this is the only place I could think of to go. Thanks.
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I, too, struggle with clinical depression & bipolar disorder. I was diagnosed with clinical depression in 1995 & bipolar disorder in 2003.
My first bit of advice is get into therapy. It is a daunting task trying to find the right one that works for you (psychologist, lcsw, etc...) but once you do find him/her, it truly is a godsend. It usually takes about 2-3 sessions to know if the fit is right for you. Attend therapy as often as possible. Currently, I see my therapist weekly. I have found that the more often you are able go to therapy the less things build up & become more difficult to resolve.
My second bit of advice is to see a Psychiatrist or DO for any questions or need for an antidepressant(s). Again, it is a dauting task trying to find the right one. Make sure that they are up-to-date on which antidepressant(s) will work or be the least risky for child birth or prior to child birth. If you do decide on taking an antidepressant(s), you will need to be patient at least a month for your body to become adjusted & feel the full effects.
My last bit of advice is to take it day by day. When you are having a bad day, try to at least take a shower first thing when you wake up. I have found this to be a good starting point for the days that I just can't get moving or seem unable to get out of bed. Then, if you are feeling even the slightest bit of energy/motivation, try to accomplish a couple of things. Even if it is emptying/loading the dishwasher or taking a walk with your dog or family, it still counts. Also, break your days down into chunks, like the morning, afternoon & evening. Don't chalk up the entire day if you can't seem to get out of bed/off the couch until the afternoon. You can still shower & try to get a few things accomplished before the end of the evening.
Hope this helps!
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I use to be the same... 7 years of just being told I was depressed but I hid it from those close to me and I still could not admit to my doctor everything that was going on...
That was until I hit my lowest point this June and I sought the help I really needed.... now 16 weeks on and I am doing good... still a long way to go, drug free but have been using therapy which has helped to talk through my many problems....
Fingers crossed I am finally on the right road to a good recovery.....
I use to be the same... 7 years of just being told I was depressed but I hid it from those close to me and I still could not admit to my doctor everything that was going on...
That was until I hit my lowest point this June and I sought the help I really needed.... now 16 weeks on and I am doing good... still a long way to go, drug free but have been using therapy which has helped to talk through my many problems....
Fingers crossed I am finally on the right road to a good recovery.....
I'll keep my fingers crossed for you, too!
Take Care.
__________________ Me-30
DH-33
Married-05/02 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Admiting the problem of depression. 
