Adoption IS like Pregnancy...

Sweetenedsapphire · 05-29-2008, 05:43 PM

(First off, we are in the adoption process, homestudy is June 5th!!!)

I never really realized until today how much adopting is like pregnancy. I mean, I never thought of adopting or bearing a child as different in the long run (both my sister and brother are adopted), but I never realized how very similiar a pregnancy and the adoption process were until I was thinking today. I knew, but I don't think I fully grasped it yet either.

Steps of Adoption/Pregnancy

Finding out how to adopt -- waiting to ovulate
Thinking you cant afford it -- temperature dosen't seem to rise after O...
Finding out you can afford it (through the state or otherwise) -- bbt temp rise!
Searching for an agency/state to go through -- like finding the 'right' brand of hpt test to use
Taking Classes/training -- like the first trimester, hoping it 'sticks' and 'works'
Getting Application together/in -- The doctor giving the thumbs up for a positive preg test, and high beta numbers!
Homestudy/interviews -- Seeing an ultrasound and realizing 'this is really real'!
Homestudy Approved - now waiting! -- Having the basics of your nursery set up, for no matter the gender! Crib, etc
Child Matched -- Found out what the gender is; literally!
Vists with Child before placement -- Labor pains - (how much longer until we bring him/her home?)
Placement/Finalization -- Birth. (Maybe not 'physically', but the worrying, pain, wondering if someone is late, etc)

It was not until I was actually comparing 'situations' that all these came to mind. The adoption process is REALLY just like pregnancy, only in a different format. For example, are pictures on a computer not the same pictures if they are .bmp instead of .jpeg? All in all, its just the same, just a different format.

Oh geese... I must be losing it! I just used a computer reference for explaining adoption.

PBLayzod · 05-29-2008, 05:55 PM

I can totally see how the process would be similar. Quite frankly, I think adoption must be harder than pregnancy. I hope you have your own special child in your arms very, very soon.

heidi1979 · 05-29-2008, 06:01 PM

Wow! I never thought of it like that until now. Nicely said

Pipercub · 05-29-2008, 07:28 PM

Oh my goodness yes! I have had one daughter through pregnancy and one daughter through adoption. The adoption process was every bit as challenging as pregnancy was. (And in some ways harder - the uncertainty can really get to you!) And in a very bizarre chain of events...the stress of the adoption took it's toll on my body. I didn't have a period for 11 months. After being regular before our homestudy, everything just stopped. The day after I found out we could fly and come bring her home, I finally had my period. (Can you say "burden lifted"?!) How's THAT for being like a pregnancy?!

{{Hugs}} to you in process!

ProudPCOMom · 05-30-2008, 01:33 PM

I guess Foster/Adopt would be like a high-risk pregnancy.

You receive your Foster/Adopt license - It like the HPT is positive! It's very early in the pregnancy and you're hoping it 'sticks'. You've already started buying cribs/strollers/gender-neutral clothes because you're SO EXCITED!

Placement of foster children - It's like the DR has told you to be on bed-rest (you now have to ask to take the baby out of state or on long trips) in your second trimester - baby is not yet viable, but you've just learned the sex of the baby so you're ultra excited and telling everyone. You see/feel the baby all the time (extra sonograms/baby is moving) and you see the DRs/Nurses often (CPS Case Workers, CASA, agency Case Managers, etc).

Bio-family is heading towards TPR (termination of parental rights) - You're now in the hospital on bed-rest - very touch and go. You still see the baby daily (sonograms) and you're ultra attached and dreaming of the future. You are nearing viability and the DRs/Nurses are hopeful, but you could still lose the baby.

TPR granted - The baby is thriving in utero, you've gotten past the age of viability. You're still on bed-rest, but you're looking forward to your due date (adoption) which is still a couple months away. Now's the time to prepare for the birth (getting a lawyer, getting CPS/agency to get those last few things done and scheduling the delivery room (court)).

The Final Adoption in front of the Judge - Is the delivery room, only there is no blood, only tears of joy. The DRs/Nurses are surrounding you and there are lots of pictures. You've invited your entire family to witness the birth - you are nothing but proud. Everyone gets to hold the 'baby' - if the 'baby' will allow it!

I've been through High-Risk pregnancies and dealt with the NICU (which I didn't try to work into the above scenario, because I wanted finalization to be the birth). Foster/Adopt is very similar, stress-wise. How many times I worried that one of my babies would leave (be re-united with their bio-families) and we would lose that child. Having more than one placement of children (case of one or more children) in your home is like a multiple birth of fraternal babies. Losing one baby (case) wouldn't cause you to lose the entire pregnancy - but the pain would still be there.

For us, we've been carrying fraternal twins, as we have two separate cases going on. We're nearing delivery for one and trying to book the delivery room for the other (I know in a traditional twin birth, they are delivered together). They are growing up together, but will have different 'birth days'.

nylittlejen · 05-30-2008, 02:44 PM

This was great, thank you so much for posting!

Sweetenedsapphire · 05-30-2008, 03:05 PM

ProudPCOMom: Fantastic! Yeah, that is definitely true. Fostering is very much like a high-risk pregnancy. Thank you for adding!

Babydust4me · 05-31-2008, 12:59 AM

LOVE IT!

I called about doing a homestudy today (friday) and the guy called me back and has us scheduled for this Monday at 7pm! OMG!

Pipercub · 05-31-2008, 01:12 AM

Congrats Nicole - be sure to tell us how it goes!

Sweetenedsapphire · 06-01-2008, 01:02 AM

Definitely be sure to tell us! How exciting! I am eager to hear how someone elses goes.