This post isn't strictly about myself but about my dad and I'd like some advice. Last sunday he told me that he'd spoken to the Samaritans because he was feeling suicidal and was at rock bottom. This really shocked me, I knew he was very unhappy but didn't realise how low he had got. Then the next day he told me that the afternoon before he had gone out to his car with the intention of gassing himself in it. Luckily his neighbour from the flat above him saw him outside and invited him up for a cup of tea. She didn't know what he was about to do but I think she saved him. He has been to see the doctor who has put him on antidepressants (which he started today) and he has also seen a counsellor and will see a psychologist next week.
I'm really at a loss as to what to do. He was at my home for most of the afternoon today, we just watched the telly while I did the ironing so although it wasn't a thrilling time for him at least he wasn't alone.
He is the sort of dad who doesn't find it easy to show his emotions so the fact that he has told me how bad he feels shows how desperate he is.
This has been brewing for a few years: my parents split up about 10 years ago and his business failed a few years after that. Also he drinks heavily, he has done for years but I think it's catching up with him now.
So really what I'd like is some advice about how to cope and how I can make him better. As I've said he can be quite remote emotionally so I'm not used to offering or getting any affection. We speak often and I'll give him a kiss goodbye but I could never hug him as it's not something we've ever done.
Anyway any advice gratefully received!!
I am so sorry that live is giving you such a hard time. To be honest, I'm not exactly sure how to respond in a way that will give you comfort. It sounds as though you are doing all that you can do, and I suspect just being there is probably a greater gift to your dad than you realize. I know it must hurt so much seeing the pain he is in. Take care of yourself as well. Depression has a way of reaching and just grabbing when we least expect it and you have a lot happening. Love doesn't have to be shown in a physical form. I think your dad is showing how much he loves and respects you just by allowing you into his world and letting you see that he is hurting. Unfortunately, that cause hurt to you as well. But, you are showing you love him as well, by the small things you are doing, by being there for him. I pray that the Lord sends both of you peace of mind and happiness. Hugs, Lendi
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There is no easy answer when one that we love is hurting. We are sometimes at a loss for what to do. However I know from experience that one must take matters into thier own hands if they feel that someone that they care about is trying to end thier life. Perhaps talking to your doctor or his and getting some intervention may be the answer. I know this seems like a harsh measure but when he gets himself calmed down he will thank you in the long run. A family member drove me to the hospital about 3 years ago because I was going to throw myself infront of a subway train if I didn't get help right away. I was put into hospital right away and then into a rehab program for 6 months. It changed my life for the better.
God Bless you and the struggle that you are going through. Please keep us posted on how you are doing.
April
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There are some great books out there that I recommend to you that may help. They are a bit pricey, so you could also check out your library to see if they have them there as well. Here they are:
"When Someone You Love is Depressed" - Laura E. Rosen & Xavier F. Amador
and a REALLY good one is:
"What To Do When Someone You Love Is Depressed" by Mitch Golant.
The "what to do when someone you love is depressed" is especially amazing as the author's mother suffered from depression for years and therefore the author writes from personal experiences and he is also a psychologist.
Just know that someone in Canada (me!) is thinking of you and praying for you. Let us know how you and your Dad are doing.
Take good care.
*HUGS*
-dreamy28
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We have a program here called Alanon.
It is for family members dealing with alcoholics.
If you can look into a program like that in your area, you could get support for yourself. That will help keep you up on the signs of his depression and it gives technecs(sp?) on how to deal with it all.
You can even research it online.
You both are doing just what you did to be at this time.
I'm sure you have heard it before but alcohol abuse is the #1 reason for depression. he needs to get away from it.
good luck to you and your Dad.
I too had a dad with alcoholisim.
My thoughts are with you,
Patty
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Thanks everyone for your thoughts and advice. Dad is staying with us at the moment so that we 'can keep an eye on him'. He decided at the weekend that he was going to give up the alcohol on his own which is a good decision but his body went into detox. He saw the doctor on monday who bascially told him off and has put him on multi vitamins, diazipan and thiamin. She said he was jaundiced and took lots of blood for testing which we're waiting for the results for.
He seems much better today, the shakes are more under control and he doesn't seem so yellow. He saw a counsellor this afternoon so he's feeling more positive. Hopefully this will continue.
I feel he's turned a corner, which makes me feel better, I was very stressed yesterday!!
Thanks again everyone, don't know what I'd do without this site, i'd be here even if I didn't have PCOS!!
Advice needed 
