Afraid to go to counseling because I am a parent...thoughts?
Hi everyone.
I have PCOS, and I am reasonably sure I suffer from depression. I am not suicidal. But I am afraid to go to therapy/counseling because I am afraid that it will come back to bite me somehow. I am a single parent, and I do not want Chidren Protective Services coming to get my child. I do not want someone to get wind of my counseling and try to make me out to be unfit because of any medication I may go on, etc. I am a very good parent, but I am very concerned about this. I don't want my child's father to show up one day and try to get custody, and I have seen/heard of cases where the mother's depression is indeed a factor. I don't want to go in for the first session and have the therapist start to act funny when I say I'm a single parent, you know, reaching for the phone and diming me out!
I have canceled two appointments because of this. Basically, I'm just looking for other moms to say yeah, I go to counseling, and no one's trying to take my kid. Thanks!
oh hun i am so sorry you fel this way. i have no idea how stuf works over theer but i bet it would be beter for you to get help before you do get to badly depressed just don't say nothign no anyone but i really don't think its something you should be ashamed of & it certainly dosen't make you a bad mum *hugs*
here's a HUGE for you!!! i suffered from depression for +- 2 years and stopped my treatment last year bec i was alot better.
Having depression is truly awful and it tends to colour your vision on everything. (makes everything seem hopeless)
Although i'm not a single mom (getting married in dec & i don't have kids) i feel for your situation. depression is an illness and to think that someone would use that against you to take your kids away is horrific!! But bec it's an illness it can be treated!! WHOOHHOOO!!! And just the fact that you feel you need to talk to someone is a HUGE first step!
My treatment consisted only of meds as i felt to embarrased to talk to anyone and our pastor at church (who is an excellent therapist) is a personal family friend and i felt akward talking to him. BUT if you do talk to a therapist, aren't they supposed to keep things confidential or maybe talk to a church pastor/priest bec aren't they also supposed to keep things to themselves? (i'm from south africa so maybe things are different in the usa?)? (also i'm NOT trying to advocate any religion(s), just thinking of people who HAVE to keep their clients' info confidential)
Other than that i don't know what to tell you except hang in there!!! you are NOT alone ALOT of women with pcos also struggle(d) with depression and i'm sure they'll be more than happy to help you!! meantime i'll send you good thoughts
__________________ Sophie
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~I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once~
If your primary concern is that you fear being reported as "unfit" simply because you may be prescribed/taking depression meds, please do NOT let that deter you from seeing a counselor. While I am not sure of your location, I'm reasonably certain that such a report to CPS would not meet legal sufficiency for investigation.
The counselor is obligated to make a report, however, if he/she suspects a child is not safe. If the issue were to ever arise in court, the other party would have to present evidence of "unfit-ness" and subsequently convince a judge. I would think that how one deals (or does not deal) with his/her depression is the real issue and not merely its existence.
My two cents!
__________________ -PCOS/IR symptoms began ~ 1978;
-AO puberty-age 19--BCP prescribed 1987-2004 (17 yr);
-Lost 75 lbs (low-carb) in 2000 PRIOR to dx;
-PCOS/IR dx 10/2003;
-Fortamet ER 2500 mg/day;
-Lower Body Lift performed 3/04 due to excess skin from weight loss;
-Off BCP 1/2005--AF every month since!
-Low-carber for life!! (I am not able to move to typical "maintenance" levels, however.)
-Me, 37. DH, 42.
"...To want what I have; to take what I'm given with grace--for this I pray..." (Don Henley)
Oh my goodness, I wish you knew what an incredibly proactive, loving, positive step you would be taking as a parent if you did get help with your depression!!!
I'm an ER social worker and I can assure you we never consider it a red flag if a patient is taking medication for depression (there are a ton of us that do, believe me ). The red flag comes when a child is apparently neglected or abused by a parent that, for whatever reason (drugs, alcohol, mental illness), can not keep that child safe.
I agree with the ER social worker above, I am a Child Protection social worker. "We" would not consider it a red flag if someone was getting counselling or on medication (I bet every third social worker in my office is on AD's, including me!). It also helps that this is something you are *chosing* to do, not something an agency is *mandating* you do.
Since depression is an illness, you can't be discriminated against because your particular illness is mental health not physical health.
And finally, it's very hard to take away someone's kids. (And in some cases, not yours, it is very frustrating that it is so difficult!!).
All the best with counselling and meds- if you're feeling better, it can only benefit your kids. I hope you feel you are able to take this step to help yourself without fear of reprisals. Take care!
__________________ Lori (36) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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* * * * * * * * * * Meds: Metformin 1000mg and Celexa 20mg
* * * * * * * * * * "My grace is sufficient for you." 2 Corinthians 12:9a
Get some help please... I am a single parent with manic depression and was worried about that initially, but my health is important to me and my daughter. Therapy has helped a great deal....but so have omega 3's in the form of liquid cod liver oils... Check out that thread in the beginning of this forum...
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