For all those waiting... - Page 4

kimmy-ki · 04-23-2009, 02:28 AM

Hi Erin, I agree that it is hard for us to get into a rhythm because everyone's on a different schedule depending on the type of adoption and the amount of time they've already been waiting. I try to check in at least every other day... I really liked your idea about including the date of initiation of the process and then the date of acceptance for adoption at the beginning of the thread. Also, we could include details on the characteristics of the child or children being adopted. Just like they do in the TTCing threads... so that the mammas-to-be feel more connected to the thread. Then we could do a thread for adoptive mommies afterwards (for those of us who are interested) on the Mommy board as we all move over there. What do you think??? I think we should proceed as the preggers women do even if the rhythm isn't as quick because we are all expecting!!!!

So have you had any news lately? It's hard to be patient, isn't it??? DH and I are determined to adopt an older child no matter what the outcome of my pregnancy is. In fact, we don't plan to tell the agency until we are several months along and have no other choice--though we are actually hoping that the adoption might go through sooner than later so that we don't have to tell the agency until after it's been finalized!!! We would absolutely love to have two children and because I´m 40 now, the sooner they come to us, the better...

share3232 · 04-23-2009, 11:26 AM

We have been keeping in close contact with our case worker, but she says that there are not many siblings group that would fit with our family at the moment. So we are still waiting. We would like this to move faster because in August we will have to put the search on hold until October. Our daughter is having scoliosis surgery and will need 6 weeks of rehab. We can't bring in 2 new kiddos and ask them to take a backseat to the rehab. I keep hoping and praying we find our children soon.

Novgirl · 04-23-2009, 11:49 AM

Kimmy - how are you feeling? It would be wonderful if you could have all of your children arrive at once! I think your ideas of having threads for Amoms that are the same progressions as Bmoms is great!

Shelly - I'm sorry to hear your daughter is having surgery. I hope her recovery goes perfectly. I love your signature photo - what a beautiful family!

Erin - I check in every few days but I don't have much to add so I don't post too often.

Not sure if any of you saw the link I posted - I found it really helpful to have a sense of what to expect... http://www.canadaadopts.com/cgi-bin/...&f=10&t=000393

AFM: still deciding which route to go... I know I asked this before but I'll post it again in case any of you have any advice for me...

QUESTION: How did you decide which path to take to adoption? Was it clear and obvious to you or did you have to really figure it out?

I'm praying for all of you!

wohiomom · 04-24-2009, 03:40 AM

I'm joining in if it's okay. We're waiting but we're foster adopt so we're waiting to adopt our foster daugther who's been with us since last June. She's 2 1/2 now. We're currently waiting for a TPR trial date. Her dad is in prison because of our foster daughter's physical abuse so it is supposed to be as sure of a sure thing as anything in the foster/adopt world can be. Our foster daugther's birth mom has already lost custody of another child and is willing to surrender her rights. My husband and I are in our 40's, we've been married almost 23 yrs, and have two other daughters 19 and 21. The PCOS wasn't diagnosed until 2 yrs ago when I was 40 although after nursing my second daughter my cycles never returned regularly and I was on the pill for years.
Becky

Erin H · 04-24-2009, 12:19 PM

Kimmy-It is good to see things are going well with you. In my opinion you are doing the right thing by not telling the agency until you absoutly have to. I was thinking that making an amoms thread on the mommy board will be a great idea. We have not heard anything and it might make me crazy. The good thing is we are about 2 weeks from moving into our new house! We have so much fun building houses.

Shelly-I am praying that you will get the new addition to you family before August. I too am sorry to hear that your litle girl is having surgery.

Kelly-We had talked adoption for a couple of years before we decided which route to take. Last May we were trying for a free IVF cycle which we did not get. After finding our that we did not get it I talked with our foster system and asked when the classes were to start. It just so happened that they were starting that evening. So, I called DH and he said that if that is what I really wanted that we would go. I thought that God must be telling me this is what He wanted us to do. After leaving work I got a call from the RE that I was trying for the free IVF with telling me that he wanted to do a free IUI cycle with me. Before I could call DH to tell him he was calling me to tell me he did not think we could handle fostering to adopt. Then we did the IUI+injections cycle and loved the RE and figured that we would do another one. After the second on did not work I was so heartbroken that I refused to go through that again and it was then we decided to adopt through the agency we are going with. The path was there for a couple of years, but we just kept trying our own way. When we finally decided to take this path everything just came together perfectly. All I can say is do not fight it if it is there.

Becky-We are glad to have you here. Do you know how long you will have to wait for a trial date? I bet your little girl is a handful at that age.

kimmy-ki · 04-26-2009, 07:48 PM

Novgirl--Adoption has always seemed so natural to me and when I found DH and discovered that he felt the same way, well, everything just started falling into place. I know that everyone's experience is different but we stopped doing TTC treatments years ago and never imagined I´d actually get pregnant naturally. By some miracle, it´s happened twice this year now that I´m 40--so surprising. But anyway, I believe that things do happen for a reason and you can never force anything. If adoption is your path, as you start exploring the right doors will start opening and eventually the child destined to be yours will be in your arms. Life is amazing that way...

Shelly--I wish your daughter all the best with her surgery and I hope the adoption comes through sooner than later. I feel the same because if we get far along in the pregnancy I´m sure the agency won't let us adopt our older child until later because he or she will need lots of attention that could be difficult with a baby. (I feel certain DH and I would be capable of handling it and we will say that to the agency if we get that far, but we are aware that the agency may not see it the same way.) I am so curious to see how this is going to play out, but if I have it my way, I would wish for the adoption agency to call us within the next month and have it settled! We really want to meet this child that we are dreaming about and have him/her be part of our lives as soon as possible!

Becky--Welcome!!! I really pray everything works out for you and your foster daughter. Please keep us posted on what is going on and when she officially becomes yours!

Erin--I understand you with the not hearing anything part. If I wasn't distracted by the pregnancy, I would be going insane! Patience has never been one of my virtues, although it should be by now after TTCing for 5 years! Hoping you will get news VERY soon... hang in there!!!

AFM-- I agree ladies, let's definitely do an a-mom thread when we start moving over there. Does that sound like a plan!?!?!?

Novgirl · 04-27-2009, 10:27 AM

Thank you Kimmy and Erin... I think (like you both) that adoption is the path for us, we're just taking our time to find our way to it. Thank you for sharing your inspiring stories

Sam29 · 05-01-2009, 03:49 PM

Hi everyone,

I have been absent for a few weeks, this economy has put a hitch in our adoption plans, I was laid off from work the end of March and am now taking a 12 week course re-training......so we have put starting the adoption off until things settle down for us again, hopiong to start the home study in the fall.

Kimmy, I have heard that once us PCOS'ers hit 35 sometimes things settle down and it's easier for us to get pregnant, Really hope things work out for you this time......will be praying for you

kimmy-ki · 05-01-2009, 06:31 PM

Hi Sam--Very sorry to hear that the economy has interfered with your adoption plans, but I'm glad to hear that you're moving forward with a training course. Good for you! Thanks for the prayers!

Ever since my first m/c at 37, I started having regular cycles but nothing would stick. Then suddenly, this year two stickies within two months. Very surprising!
By the way, I can't decipher what your T-shirt says--something about pregnancy and adoption? Looks interesting... Can you decipher it for me?!?!

Sam29 · 05-07-2009, 10:18 AM

It says 'Adoption is the new pregnant' LOL!!

share3232 · 05-07-2009, 11:46 AM

Hey ladies! We are still waiting here. We did look at a profile of two brothers just a little older than my daughter. We think they would be a great addition to our family, so our case worker is looking into the file for us. That is all that's going on right now.....waiting! LOL

kimmy-ki · 05-08-2009, 01:17 PM

Sam--Great T-shirt!!!!

Shelley--What wonderful news!!! Keep us posted!!! I'll be interested to hear about integrating children that are older than your kids. The reason is that our agency seems opposed to that idea (?!?!?)-- they think that the kids that are already in the family should be the oldest. That is not sitting well with me right now because of my current pregnancy, our idea is to adopt a child between 2 - 5 years old but our baby could arrive before the child and I wonder if the agency will suddenly pull back. That's why I´m wishing they would HURRY UP and get the process moving. Ha, ha... try to rush an adoption agency! Right now our idea is to avoid telling the adoption agency about my pregnancy until I´m something like 20 - 24 weeks... I guess we have to leave the timing up to God and just see how things work out.

Erin H · 05-13-2009, 12:08 PM

Hey girls! Sorry I have not posted in a while. We have been very busy trying to get everything ready with the house so we can start moving in on Friday after I get off work!!

Sam-I am sorry thing have worked out this way for you. Fall will be here before you know it! How is your re-training going?

Shelly-Is there any news on the brothers? That is exciting to have a little something going on!

Kimmy-How is everything going for you? Are you feeling these days?

kimmy-ki · 05-14-2009, 03:52 AM

Erin--Good luck with the move!!! Are you moving to a new town or city or moving to a new place within the same town? I think it's great that you're making the move before baby comes... that way you can set everything up for him or her from the start! I still can't believe I´ve made it to 10 weeks. It's nothing short of a miracle. Just taking things day by day... my nausea seems to finally be waning thank goodness.

I have another u/s at 12 weeks to see how things are coming along.

share3232 · 05-14-2009, 10:59 AM

Our case worker didn't get to the file in time. The brother's case worker is no longer accepting interest forms. They had a very large and quick interest, we were just a little behind. So, we wait again. I am a little discouraged. I think we will be waiting well into the new year (again). UGH