Am I being silly?

Saza · 02-15-2004, 05:15 PM

I have just spoken to a work friend to check my hours as I'm going back to work tomorrow and ,as you do, I got all the latest gossip and aparently there was a meeting last week where my bossladee said some worrying things.
She has been going through her hubby being ill and has badgered on. Where after being told I have PCOS, finding that money was missing out of my pay and one of my dogs killing my budgie copled by her telling me I need to ask my doctor for a "happy pill" i had a break down and was on the sick for 3 wks.
The comment at the meeting was " people need to learn to pull themselves together and get over it" that apparently she has been through a lot and is soldiering on !!!!

The thing that makes me laff "HA" is we are carers.
If there are people on this planet that should be more understanding it should be us and HER with her UNLIMITED EXPERIENCE should be the most.
I don't know if she has ever sufferd from depression herself (Obviously not) but I don't think she realises how difficult it can be to even get out of bed let alone work

But am I being silly?
Should I pull myself together?
I mean I havent been through much have I?
Work friend says that it was directed towards all of them but I KNOW it was directed at me.
I tell you something though if I had that little b***h in front of me now i wouldn't be doing SI thats for sure.

Bethann · 02-15-2004, 11:10 PM

I'm sorry you're feeling down. And as someone who will always struggle with serious depression, I can tell you with absolute confidence, it's not your fault, you're not weird. But it is something others can't always understand (or aren't willing too.) And if I had a dollar for every time I've hear "just pull yourself together", "it can't be that bad", etc. Hang in there, and try to figure out what you need to do to take care of yourself, whether that's more exercise, hot baths, therapy, medication, etc. and do it.

Lendi · 02-16-2004, 01:27 AM

Hi, sounds like you've had quite a time of it lately. I can only give you my opinion, but I'm always happy to try and share some moral support

I understand what you're feeling. Hugs

But am I being silly?
Do you feel as though your feeling are silly? If you do, validate your feelings and make them ok. You can never have a feeling that is bad or silly or unjust. If the feeling is there, it deserves to be paid attention to no matter what the feeling is. You have the right to your feelings.

Should I pull myself together?
Sounds like you are trying. Now, in my opinion only, if you are missing work because of depression, if you are not sleeping because of depression, if your are miserable because of depression...you really should visit with your counselor or Dr. about change/receiving treatment. If you can not live a normal life, you are not getting the help you deserve. It takes awhile to find the right combination, sometimes but keep trying til you do.
You have the right to a life outside of your home. Missing out on work is missing out on life and that is not the way it should be. So, if getting treatment for a better life it "pulling yourself together" than yes..you should. If you're already fighting with all your might then you know that and don't worry about what others think. But, you still have the rights to your feelings, no matter what...sad, depressed, angry, withdrawn etc.

I mean I havent been through much have I?
Depression hits for many reasons. Physical, psychological, life's happenings and no reason at all. Life's happenings are really not an indicator on how whether depression occurs or how severe it is. Depression is a chemical imbalance of the brain. It is a physical disease just like high blood pressure, or insulin resistance or hypothyroidism. You need treatment to balance the chemicals. No body, but you knows how bad you are feeling. No-one has the right to compare their life and depression with your life and depression. We are all individuals.

Work friend says that it was directed towards all of them but I KNOW it was directed at me.
Hmm, maybe...maybe no. That would be something only the one who said it would know for sure. Take the positive road. Assume it was a general statement. And, fight back. Get well. Prove her wrong, at least where you are concerned.

I tell you something though if I had that little b***h in front of me now i wouldn't be doing SI thats for sure.
What is SI?

Hope maybe you're feeling a bit better today. Hugs to you, Lendi

daughty · 02-16-2004, 04:49 AM

I hate this stupid statement "Pull yourself together". Depression is an illness. I mean, you don't go and tell a diabetic/cancer/hypertension or whatever person "pull yourself together".

Saza you're not being silly. Take your feelings for serious, they're not just in your head. It is better to listen to them than ignore them.

Saza · 02-16-2004, 07:15 AM

Thank you for all your replies
SI=Self Injure
I have been trying to pull myself together and did consider myself ready to go back to work.
I am the type of person who can deal with things as long as I'm left alone and things are not mentioned.
The comment that was made by bossladee is the type of thing that triggers me. I take things v.personaly and I hate the thought of them all laughing about me behind my back.
The giggles on the phone when I called in sick at the begining proved that (supverviser laughing in back ground, on cue to sarcastic comments).

I like to deal with things inside and will only talk to people I am very close to. I can be an the verge of tears all day and be fine untill someone says " aww whats the matter" or " are you o.k."
I then fall off the edge.
I know this sounds terreble but I hate people being kind when im upset.

I feel I must be wierd

When I lived in Spain and I was upset I would go to sit on a rock and look out to sea. I would lose myself and stay there for hours and that seemed to do me good. Unfortunaly I cannt do the where I live now.

Doc said, when I went to go on the sick, that I need to look for a new job. When I said that my bossldee had advised that i go to doc and get "a happy pill" doc said that I dont need one that in her opinion I have been coping incredibly well.

I will be haveing my "back to work" interview this wk and Im going to ask to be transferd to a different job in the company. Will see what they say.

Lendi · 02-16-2004, 11:52 PM

Saza, good for you! I change might be just the thing. And about the tears...hey sweetie, read my siggy. It's ok to cry. Let the safety valve blow! Hugs to ya, Lendi