Am I crazy????

~Nicole~ · 02-07-2005, 03:31 PM

Ok so I am going to see a Psychologist tomorrow......and I am really nervous. I know something is wrong with me...I just dont know what. I am scared that he will think that I am a hypochondriac (sp) and send me packing. I have a REALLY hard time asking for help. I dont know what to say, then on the other hand I am scared that if I start telling him everything that goes on in my brain he will have me committed..I am not joking. I have very dark feelings and thoughts sometimes. I dont think that I would ever act on them......see now I am second guesing if I should even post this. I dont want to be crazy.......I just have totally fallen apart in ther past few years. My mother is bi-polar among other things and I dont see myself as being really sick. I dont know.....

So does any one have a sugestions? Or has anyone ever went and can tell me how things go.....what is the procedure? I want it to be a sucessfull appointment. I want help, I want to be me again.

Nicole

TickledPink · 02-07-2005, 03:37 PM

Be very open and honest, don't hide anything, or you will be robbing yourself in the end! They have heard it all, you have nothing to be ashamed of!

As far as my experinces, you will be doing most of the talking, and they ask you alot of questions to try and determine the path of treatment for you!

You will be just fine!

Be sure to keep us posted!

(((((hugs)))))

~Nicole~ · 02-07-2005, 03:50 PM

Thanks....thats what I am afraid of...talking. I am so OVERLY emotional right now, I cry everytime I try to talk. Its not just a few tears....I bawl. Owell...I guess I will just have to suck it up and do it. I wish there was just a check list and I could just pick yes or no.

TickledPink · 02-07-2005, 04:42 PM

Don't worry hun I have cried infront of many of doctors!

Your going to be just fine!

jazzie · 02-07-2005, 05:22 PM

Dear are you crazy-- Listen, there is nothing wrong with going to a therapist. Trust me, I've been there myself. First of all, millions of people go to therapists who need to vent and straighten their thoughts out and they are not crazy. There are also millions of crazy people. My husband is a social worker and man, I'm telling you-- you're not crazy. Or maybe you do have some bipolar traits, who knows, but either way there is NOTHING wrong with figuring it out. It is strange to feel that you're being listened to and judged but the judgement is to better understand your patterns of thinking and ultimately help you cope and function better. One word of advice which is very important--not all therapists and patients match. You may not like your therapist and that's okay too. I would suggest if you don't like your therapist after a few visits, I would find another one. There is nothing wrong with that. I've been to some terrible therapists before and all it did was make me think that there was REALLY something wrong in my head. I assumed it was MY fault and that I was hopeless. Then I found Judy, my beloved therapist, and she was great. It makes all the difference to "click" with your therapist. And by all means, don't forget, you are paying for their service so if you're dissatisfied, don't go back or ask for a referal. Good luck!

~Nicole~ · 02-07-2005, 06:12 PM

Thanx Jazzie.......I am just really nervous. I did not even tell anyone in my family...other then my husband. I just feel like they dont get me. I am really GOOD at hiding myself and my feelings. So most people think I am happy all the time. But I am not, and I just dont think I can "Pretend" anymore. I appreciate your imput and will update after my visit.

Nicole

TickledPink · 02-07-2005, 06:13 PM

Big ditto!

I once went to a therapist who ate chocolate bars during our sessions and all he asked about was how was my sex drive...............CREEPY! I went to him twice and then switched!

bailey0979 · 02-08-2005, 04:52 AM

seeing a Professional about a problem doesn't mean you are crazy. They are trained to identify the best way to make you feel better.

as far as filling out a check list I found the following link

http://www.healthyplace.com/Communit...ening_test.asp

fill it u, print it and bring it to you appaointment if you are uncomfortable talking about it.

~Nicole~ · 02-08-2005, 11:52 AM

Thanks bailey, that list was helpful. I printed and will take it with me today.

OT, but where did you get the fairy on your sig? Its beautiful and I love it!!!!!

Nicole

bailey0979 · 02-09-2005, 02:51 AM

glad I could help.

The fairy was made by flutterby.
There is, or was, a thread for siggies on the getting to know you posts.

~Nicole~ · 02-09-2005, 02:41 PM

Update:

I had my appointment last night, and it went good. He was really nice. It was hard to start talking at first, then everything just poured out of me. I could not stop. I think I went over my time slot. He is alittle concered with my rage issues and fears of being alone. He said, Meds may not be the best thing for me right now, that I need to work through my issues with my mother and such. I believe he said I may have a biochemical disorder, and the PCOS and hypothyriodism DOES NOT help it. I told him alot, but I still have alot of things that need to come out.

I go back in two weeks, he wanted to see me next week, BUT i could not fit it into my schedule.

So thanks for reading if you got this far!!

Nicole

TickledPink · 02-09-2005, 02:58 PM

I am glad it went well

I too have fears of being alone

~Nicole~ · 02-09-2005, 03:11 PM

Really....I hate being alone in a physical sense. I mean I am scared to be alone in a house, I feel very vulnerable and unsafe.
I dont go home alone. I wait for DH to get home. Its very strange. So this fear is why my Dr is thinking that it may not just be depression.

I also am afraid of bugs, not your typical hatred of them. If I see a spider or something in the house, I cant sleep. I am afraid of them crawling on me.

LOL...poor hubby. He has no idea what he has gotten himself into.

jazzie · 02-09-2005, 10:49 PM

Hang in there and know that this may be a long process. I was thinking too that the hormonal imbalances weren't helping matters any. I asked my RE for an anti-depressant and he wanted me to wait if I was able and said it'll get alot better once the hormones are more regular. And the truth is, I feel alot better already. I know your issues are different but it will get better eventually. He may want to put you on some medication and that could REALLY help with your symptoms of anxiety and depression. Best of luck and keep us posted!

FrozenMyst27 · 02-21-2005, 11:29 PM

You aren't crazy. I would consider this counseling... I think. I'm not crazy, but I've been to help 2 times already (prolly for totally different reasons). I personally think that there is a possibility that I could need it again, but I haven't hit the point where I think it's necessary. I have a terrible time asking for help. I can work up the courage though. It's not a bad thing... sometimes we just need people to listen. Dark thoughts... I think some dark thoughts are normal... I doubt they'll send you packing for any of them. ^^; Don't ever doubt sharing. If you need to get it out then do so. It can make you feel better. I can understand how it is though. I don't tell many if any at all how I feel. In any case... I'm sure you'll be fine and I wish you luck. = ) We're all here for you if you need us.

Hope that was a help for you. *hugs*

Sincerely,
~Holly

Ps. I don't know of anyone who likes being home alone. I freak out when I am. ^_^ As for the buggy thing... sounds like a phobia. My mom is so scared of spiders, if they're too close to her, she gets chest pains! @_@ Not good, but c'est la vie.

Pps. If I sound silly or annoying, just ignore me. ; )