My b/f of nine months decided today that I am not what he wants. He claims to love me more than anything and blah blah blah, even until the bitter end. Then he goes and tells me that he just doesn't want to try. My husband did the same thing. Didn't want to work on our relationship. Am I just not worth it? Cuz let me tell you, right now I don't feel worth it. I feel like a sack of crap. I have my ds to take care of and all I want to do is crawl into bed and cry. I feel so sick for letting this guy 'in' so to speak. He kept telling me he wasn't like all the other men, that he was different. He just proved himself wrong. He said he was scared. Scared of everything. So I guess the way to deal with that is to run. How can I not feel like it is me??? Why don't I inspire men to try and work it out.
Babbling with tears running down my face and babe looking at me.
Not ttc. DH has had a vasectomy. We have 2 gorgeous boys, 2 and 4. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Oh Sweetie you are worth it and you don't need a man to prove that to you. You have a darling son to take care of and he loves his mommy. Some men are a**h***s that are scared of commitment. I know that your heart is breaking now but don't give up yet I believe that there is someone out there for everyone, you just haven't found your match yet. I feel for you, if you need someone to talk to I am here for you.
__________________
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***HUGS*** What an A**. Look it is nothing you have done nor is it about you. It is him. A few years ago I had a guy that worshipped the ground I walked on. I finally gave in and we started dating. After several great months he just packed up and left. His words "A tree turns me on more than you do". I was devastated. What had I done so wrong? A few days later I was laying in the tub with red puffy eyes from crying and said "What man is worth this?" When I got up out of the water all my saddness and worthlessness stayed behind. He was not worth it. Of course I did need some therapy as those words cut me deep. But he is the 1 lonely and I am married to my DH. Keep your head up and show him that you can live and do not need him. And remember for now you have your "CYSTERS"
__________________ Married to DH Chuck June 8, 2005 legally but we had our Fairytale Wedding at Disney January 31, 2006 Sandy (29) Chuck(DH)27 TTC since October 2005 Disagnosed with PCOS July 2005 First round of Progesterone & Clomid 2/06 Second round of Progesterone & clomid 4/06 1st RE appt April 11 May 25 DX with MTHFR positive Homocystein
Thank you I don't understand how people can be so cruel. My problem is that I would never be that cruel to someone so why are they so cruel to me?? And he didn't even have the courtesy to talk to me in perosn. He msn'd me. I thought I deserved more. . . .I know I do, just at this moment I feel like I don't. It all makes sense why his past relationships haven't gone beyond 9 months. It all makes sense but it still hurts so bad
Not ttc. DH has had a vasectomy. We have 2 gorgeous boys, 2 and 4. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
You are so worthy and lovable. I am going through this right now. I had a horrible weekend because My boyfriend and i broke up. He told me he is so focused on his career that he doesn't have time to invest in me. It's deeper than this but I won't take over your thread with my issue. A lot of times we measure our worth by what others have done to us or by their opinions of us. You just have to remember that those are his own insecurities and they are not definitive of who you are as a person. He will have those issues until he does something about them. You're not responsible for him. You can only work on yourself so don't beat yourself down psychologically. Right now feel the hurt, cry and even get angry but don't lose yourself in the process because you deserve so much better hun.
Praying for your healing...
Monifa
__________________ Monifa
DX: "04" (IR down from 89.5 to 19.9; 1 yr) Meds: Fortamet ER 2500mg, Vyvanse, Seasonique, vit. D 1000mg Diet: none, trying to get back on a regimen To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Exercise: none, focusing on meal planning, planning to play tennis w/BF by our new home. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Oct. 1st goal: 250 lbs
Mini goal:220lbs by 03/2010 Commitment date: 09/01/09 Starting weight: 265lbs as of 08/26/09
***HUGS*** What an A**. Look it is nothing you have done nor is it about you. It is him. A few years ago I had a guy that worshipped the ground I walked on. I finally gave in and we started dating. After several great months he just packed up and left. His words "A tree turns me on more than you do". I was devastated. What had I done so wrong? A few days later I was laying in the tub with red puffy eyes from crying and said "What man is worth this?" When I got up out of the water all my saddness and worthlessness stayed behind. He was not worth it. Of course I did need some therapy as those words cut me deep. But he is the 1 lonely and I am married to my DH. Keep your head up and show him that you can live and do not need him. And remember for now you have your "CYSTERS"
Wow very inspiring. Thanks I needed to hear that.
__________________ Monifa
DX: "04" (IR down from 89.5 to 19.9; 1 yr) Meds: Fortamet ER 2500mg, Vyvanse, Seasonique, vit. D 1000mg Diet: none, trying to get back on a regimen To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Exercise: none, focusing on meal planning, planning to play tennis w/BF by our new home. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Oct. 1st goal: 250 lbs
Mini goal:220lbs by 03/2010 Commitment date: 09/01/09 Starting weight: 265lbs as of 08/26/09
I emailed him yesterday and said that I thought I at least deserved to hear his reasoning in person and he didn't even email back. He thinks so little of me. Though he claimed that very morning to love me 'so much' and 'enjoy every moment we have together'. I wish it was easy to just throw it all away and not worry what other people think of you. I try and I try. I told him about my struggles past/present with ocd, anorexia and depression. He never witnessed them b/c I have had them fairly under control for some time thanks to meds. I even told him about pcos, though not in great detail b/c he is squeamish about "lady" things. He wrote in his email that those things about me scare him. So it is me then. Then no one will ever love me and want to stay with me. No one wants someone who is broken and taped together.
Sorry for my woe is me. . . . I am just feeling so unworthy, hurt and sickened for letting yet another man into my world only to have him decide without talking to me, that he doesn't want to put in the effort.
Not ttc. DH has had a vasectomy. We have 2 gorgeous boys, 2 and 4. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
So my b/f came to me last night and said some things that I have never heard b4. . .. he confessed that he acted like a juvenile and a complete a-hole and that he was a total coward for running from me instead of trying to understand. He told me that since I told him about my probs with self-harm he has been totally freaked out and unable to deal with it and was scared to talk to me about it. I didn't tell him about any of my probs til about 5 months into our relationship. I told him that he hurt me in immeasureable ways and that I do understand but I don't know what it means for our future. He said that he can completely understand if I cannot take him back and he wouldn't blame me but that he I did deserve an explanation of his actions etc. I nearly fell over! I have never heard a man say that he was acting immature!!! really!!! They never admit those kind of things. . .
Anywho. . .I am at a loss. I love this man to bits. But I need to protect myself. My feelings are still so sore even though I understand completely. Do I try and get passed those hurt feelings and give him a chance??? Is he a dud??? Don't we all deserve the benefit of the doubt?? I just don't know anymore
Thanks for listening ladies.
Not ttc. DH has had a vasectomy. We have 2 gorgeous boys, 2 and 4. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Really it's not you. lol Men just have this thing about them I guess. My boyfriend and I were very in love and we wanted 10 kids (crazy >.> I know) and then when he found out that I had PCOS it was like all of that had changed. He was mature enough and eventually came around and accepted it.
Without sounding stereotypical; men really are afraid of commitment.
If you love him that much I'd try to give him time to figure out how he feels about it and talk about it.
Honey it's good that he's got the balls to finally come and talk to you and apologise to you... but he HAS been hurtful and he does need to understand that he has to build your trust in him again. If you do want to work on your relationship with him, tell him that you feel that you need to protect yourself, that any trust you had in him was squashed by his actions. Tell him that you need time to learn to trust him again, and he needs to show you that you CAN trust him.
Thanks Cysters. I totally agree about him needing to rebuild my trust. When he told me that he knows that it is possible that I may not give him another chance, he was teary. I told him that I appreciate his honesty but there were about four weeks there when he didn't treat me like he should have treated someone he loves. . . . and that I have to reconcile that within myself. B/c what happens if a bigger issue should arise in the future?? Will he run again?? This relationship I have with him is much different than any other I have ever had in the past. I didn't go into it as weak as I went into the ones previous. I felt like I held all the cards and I was the one in control which is a huge issue with me. We have been very slow getting to know one another. . . and neither of us laid all the 'goods' out on the table all at once. I didn't find out that he is a genius until nearly 2 months into our relationship or that he loves boating until just last month. But I still have my weaknesses and insecurities and they can still get in the way. Also some of my mental issues will never be fully gone. I need him to understand these things. . .
Well, enough babbling.
Thanks
Not ttc. DH has had a vasectomy. We have 2 gorgeous boys, 2 and 4. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Angelbean, I know you feel worthless right now, but you are totally worth a guys time, break ups are sooo hard, esp when you still care for the other. HUGS, I cant say much more because I know when I went thru a hard break up it didnt seem to matter what others were telling me, I just couldnt understand why he would leave me and I had the same, "no guy wants me" attitude. But after a long time of feeling blue I met my DH and he is WAY better then the other jerk. You will find your knight in shining armor, but HUGS until then
__________________ -Marilyn
Me 28 DH 30
DS born 3-27-07
DD born 7-13-09
BFP!!! 7-12-06 BFP!!! 11-2-08
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Am I just not worth it?? 
I don't understand how people can be so cruel. My problem is that I would never be that cruel to someone so why are they so cruel to me?? And he didn't even have the courtesy to talk to me in perosn. He msn'd me. I thought I deserved more. . . .I know I do, just at this moment I feel like I don't. It all makes sense why his past relationships haven't gone beyond 9 months. It all makes sense but it still hurts so bad 
