Am I an Ogre??

angieluvsrhinos · 01-25-2007, 03:27 PM

Have you ever walked in public and had people (for me its mostly children) stare at you? Now I know i am not that bad looking, but I remember reading somewhere that your face changes due to PCOS??? So are we destined to look like ogres? I dont notice a change in my face and my husband says i am beautiful, except sometimes i get a mena look on my face.
You know its not bad enough to deal with the depression, infertility, AF problems, weight gain, and pain, but now i feel like i look like an agre too.. just call me SHREK!!!
Usually the little kids just stare, then i will wave and make them smile, but kids older than like 3 stare and sometimes shy and act timid or even scared??? Oh I hate my life. I have been told i am the poster child for PCOS, but maybe i am also the poster child for the antichrist?? thats how i feel sometimes.

junior_j · 01-25-2007, 03:33 PM

Aww dont be silly you are not a ogre your a human being with a unwanted condition.So dont make yourself feel like this..Honesty dont hate your self over this it is a thing with kids when they stare, I get a look every now and then from a kid that makes me look at the floor im soo embarresed..Your a brilliant person by dealing with pcos everyday and were not destined to look like ogre nor should we let people treat us liek ogres..

(((BIG HUGS AND LOTS OF THEM)))

Please think more positive and feel happyer with in yourself

Jess xx ( pm if u want to chat )

Jashobeam · 01-25-2007, 11:44 PM

Kids are attracted to women who look nice. There was a study done on this. Once you give the kids attention they will get shy because many are told to avoid strangers. It's a compliment!

sinnie · 01-26-2007, 12:14 AM

A lot of kids are usually shy in public, others are not. I know how you feel sometimes, because in addition to my appearance and weight, I tower over some people being 5'9"

flyfisher · 01-26-2007, 12:15 AM

I agree with the others....don't feel like that.....I know sometimes its depressing dealing with everything...you are beautiful in every way..always remember that! ((((((HUGS)))))

ttara123 · 01-26-2007, 12:40 AM

Oh, don't think anything of it! When I was little I would cling to my mom even when I was with my grandma or someone else I knew really well. It had nothing to do with anyone personally... I was just shy!

flamenca · 01-26-2007, 09:04 AM

I have kids stare at me too sometimes. At my glasses, at my hair, at my belly, at my clothes - who knows? But often when I smile, they smile back, or they turn away without rection. Just like grown ups would when you acknowledge that they stare. Often I think it's more like a "lost in a thought" kind of stare, so they are not even consciously doing it and get startled out of a day dream when you react to it. I don't feel like an Ogre (at least not until my skin turns green!), but I don't exactly feel pretty thanks to all the wonderful symptoms this syndrome dealt me. That doesn't make me - or you - the antichrist, it makes us no more interesting to look at than the man with the long beard at the next table, the model at the checkout counter in the supermarket, the lady with the orange dress across the street or the hot dog vendor at the corner. So don't feel awful, you are a beautiful woman. And if you ask me, ALL our faces turn mean sometimes. Especially when we are ticked off and angry - and I truly don't think that PCOS has anything to do with that.

Iselou · 01-26-2007, 09:51 AM

I suppose it is easier said than done, telling you to take no note of it?
It is not easy, but maybe you were just caught on a very "off" day. sometimes we take things more emotionally because we are fighting a constant battle within? Smile and how can that not make you feel better and the "culprits" worse.

A smile is excellent medication...i know it is hard, but laugh about trying out a new laugh...it is therapy at its best.

go on try it....Laugh out loud and listen to it....you will feel better.

angieluvsrhinos · 01-26-2007, 01:40 PM

Thanks everyone for your great input! Yeah, lately the easiest thing for me to do is smile or laugh.. especially when babies are around, otherwise i would breakdown and cry.
I understand kids stare sometimes.... you know it is funny cause i remember doing that as a kid, but now, even if i see the most odd thing in a person, i usually dont take a second glance.... maybe its because I know that those of us with PCOS deal with some of the most odd and annoying things on a daily basis also.

junior_j · 01-26-2007, 03:07 PM

I agree with all of the above ^^

Jess x

Fuzzy Bear · 01-26-2007, 05:23 PM

Hi
I get stared at all the time too, although in my case it is more often by adults and teenagers.
I used to work with the children in Junior kindergarten up to grade 4. I found the majority of children just don't understand why we look different. It turned out they couldn't decide whether I was a Mrs., or Mr. I couldn't get upset when I understand why, and it made me understand why some children stare. I don't fit into their "norm" so they want to look to try to understand. Innocent curiosity.
So don't worry about children ~ they seem to find something different about other people as something fascinating, rather than scary.
I agree that if you can smile it will make the situation easier with kids who stare.
I hope we have made you feel better and that you will not feel as badly if it happens again. A lot of cysters have been in the same situation and you aren't alone.

Fuzzy Bear

heathyingram2 · 01-27-2007, 10:27 PM

There are days i feel the exact same way! hang in there you'll get by, i have a few good friends to support me and thats all i need

Your Mom · 01-28-2007, 03:04 PM

I am a Mom of a daughter with PCOS. Like you, she is trying so hard to make the best of all this. Please don't lose heart. I am sure that you do not look like an Ogre. You are just overly sensitive to anything that eats away at your self esteem. If you are like me, when you feel self conscious, everything is suspect! Just remember to count your blessings. Your husband sounds like a great guy. I will bet you are pretty special too.

KatCarney · 01-28-2007, 03:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jashobeam

Kids are attracted to women who look nice.

Several studies. So if kids are staring at you, take it as a compliment

Quote:

Beauty and Babies

There is evidence that our preference for beauty may be biologically ingrained. In an experiment done by Alan Slater, a developmental psychologist at the University of Exeter in south-west England, almost 100 newborn babies, an average of 2.5 days old, were shown photographs of pairs of faces which were matched in everything except attractiveness. The infants chose to stare at the face the psychologists judged as the attractive face rather than the unattractive one.

The research showed that while it has been suggested that humans determine their concept of attractiveness based on the "average" of all the faces they see, and that features that are most close to the human average in size and shape are the most attractive, it is interesting that the newborn infants, with their very limted exposure to various human features still chose to look at the more attractive of two faces.

The Golden ratio

In ancient Greece, Helen of Troy, was the paragon of beauty, celebrated for her physical perfection. Philosophers tried to answer the question of what made Helen and other women beautiful. Plato wrote of so-called "golden proportions," in which, among other things, the width of an ideal face would be two-thirds its length, while a nose would be no longer than the distance between the eyes.

Although some research has pointed out that the golden ratio plays a part in what we perceive as beauty, researchers in modern psychological and biological research now believe symmetry is the answer the Greeks were looking for.

Beauty and Symmetry

A number of biologists and psychologists who have tried to define what exactly beauty is have found evidence that beauty seems to be related to symmetry, fitness and fertility.

Biologists studying the animal kingdom have discovered that animals that are more symmetrical are more likely to attract a mate. Scientists say that the preference for symmetry is a trait seen in many different animals such as swallows and zebra finches. In a study of horses, it was observed that horses that are more symmetrical run faster than those that are less symmetrical even if the differences measured were minimal. In this case. it seems symmetry is related to fitness and may be a good indicator of general health and strength.

In humans, it seems that symmetry is also a major factor in the average person's perception of what beauty is. Persons with symmetric facial features are more likely to be thought of as beautiful.

In an experiment with babies, when given a choice of looking at pictures of symmetric individuals and asymmetric ones, the babies preferred staring at the symmetrical faces. In another study, when several faces were averaged to create a composite picture, the composite (which was symmetrical) was judged more attractive by the panel of judges.

Another study, done by Victor Johnston of New Mexico State University, utilizes a program called FacePrints. Viewers are shown facial images of variable attractiveness and are asked to rate the pictures on a beauty scale from one to nine. Then the pictures with the best ratings are merged together, while the less attractive photos are taken out. Each trial ends when a viewer rates the composite a 10. All the perfect 10s in the study were super-symmetric.

In a study done in the University of Louisville, when shown pictures of different individuals, Asians, Latinos, and whites from 13 different countries all had the same general preferences when rating others as attractive. The most symmetric faces were rated as the most attractive.

Various studies have showed that the symmetry of a man's body relates to when he begins his sex life (earlier if his body is symmetrical) and how many partners he'll have (more if symmetrical). According to this study, symmetry could also mean more fertility.

One study showed some relationship between the number of children that a woman had, and the symmetry of her breasts. According to this study, the women with more evenly-sized breasts had more children, while the women with differently-sized breasts had fewer children.

It is interesting how symmetry can make any difference to one's fertility, fitness or attractiveness. Perhaps, like animals, symmetry in humans could also be a measure of general fitness, a strong immune system, robust genes,vigour and fertility.

briggy · 01-29-2007, 09:03 AM

Thats a fantastic article Kat

I find babies and toddlers look at me a lot. I always say it's because I'm so well padded that they are looking thinking "bet she can give you the most fantastic cuddle ever"

Try your best to think of the positives, I know it's not easy, it's taken me to i'm 34 and i still have my bad days but i just think, this is my life and i am going to do my best not to let things get me down as it will only be me that suffers.