WOW- Tonight is just one of those nights were everything runs through your head... you cant help but think of one negative thing after another. Right now Im crying because I feel so selfish so bad for feeling this way. My best friend is 7 months pregnant and I think Im jealous, or maybe the word is scared....scared that, that might never be me.. Last night I went to her house she was showing me all the baby stuff she got, and when I left I wanted to cry......then today she asked me to go with her to the doctor to hear the heartbeat...it was so cute, but I felt like **** sitting there.. She is so cute her little belly is sticking out, in 2 months she will have a baby who she can love and take care of and he will love her back... what if thats never me?? ? I couldnt handle it....I am crying because I feel selfish for being jealous of her....
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I don't think you are jealous, i think you are hurting and yes scared. I know it is hard but be happy for your friend. Here i hope these cheer you up. I think you may be feeling a bit angry also. Everyone shows fear and anger in a different way. Maybe the way you show it is with what you think is jealousy.
Raeann.....YES you are jealous of your friend....but what I want you to remind yourself of is that it is completely and absolutely understandable given your situation.
I, too, was in your situation not long ago. We cysters who are TTC are often too hard on ourselves....we keep denying the emotions that we feel because they aren't "pretty" emotions, but the reality is that those emotions you feel are very raw and run very deep within our spirits. Those emotions eventually wear down our spirits and if we put ourselves down for feeling those emotions, we wear down our spirits faster.
Please don't give up! If you get the chance, explain (as nicely as possible) to your friend how you feel and help her understand your situation (if she doesn't already), but try not to make her feel like she has to HIDE things from you just because you are jealous of what she has and you don't.
It is a very difficult topic and situation, but first you have to allow yourself to accept and deal with the way you feel before you can handle the situation your feelings create.
Good Luck!
Manda
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i agree its completley normal for you to feel this way and think that you should explain nicely to your friend how you feel if shes a good friend which she sounds like it she should understand
take care
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I agree I am also feeling this one of my best friends has just fallen pregnant and she is 6 months in, and already wanting me to go shopping with her, I am going as I love her to bits and I am very happy for her but I do know the scared feelings. ( It is going to be hard, and I do not know how I will feel whist doing baby things with her, but all i know is that I am there to support her )
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[CENTER]"The reason why many fail in battle is because they wait until the hour of battle. The reason why others succeed is because they have gained their victory on their knees long before the battle came."[/center]
i think any one in this situation feels the same way, i know i have too. i have been ttc for over 4 years and nothing yet but i refuse to give up, and you shouldnt either!
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I know how you feel sweetie!!! I have just had several co-workers announce that they are pregnant and my sister just gave birth to her second son. You smile and say congratulations and you REALLY want to feel nothing but total happiness for them...but you can't. That doesn't make you a bad person...it makes you human. They have something you fear you can never have and it hurts. Please believe me when I say you are not alone and you are not selfish!! Hang in there! ((((Hugs))))
Beck
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I know what you mean and are feeling. I felt the same way when 2 of my very close friends said that they were pregnant. i was so happy for them but at the same time i felt that my heart was breaking because i wanted to be in their place. Hang in there and enjoy the little one with them when they are born.
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I know what you mean and are feeling. I felt the same way when 2 of my very close friends said that they were pregnant. i was so happy for them but at the same time i felt that my heart was breaking because i wanted to be in their place. Hang in there and enjoy the little one with them when they are born.
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Thank you girls so much for your support. I just dont want to be selfish. I am very happy for her she got pregnant within the first 2 months of trying and has had a very healthy pregnancy....Sometimes it just hard tho...you get the "I wish that was me." But hopefully one day it will be me.... and whatever other soulcyter wishes the same!! I love you girls... Thanks so much!
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Am I Selfish. Whats My Problem? 
I think you may be feeling a bit angry also. Everyone shows fear and anger in a different way. Maybe the way you show it is with what you think is jealousy.
I felt the same way when 2 of my very close friends said that they were pregnant. i was so happy for them but at the same time i felt that my heart was breaking because i wanted to be in their place. Hang in there and enjoy the little one with them when they are born.
