Anger and Sadness

JulesInTexas · 06-30-2009, 07:12 PM

I just found out that a 'friend of a friend' is pregnant. She's one week ahead of where I would have been and my friend said - she's 9 weeks, so when's her due date and I could say it so fast that it just brought up the miscarriage like it happened yesterday. It's only been three weeks, but it's like any healing that happened is gone.

It also just reminds me that my mom didn't come into town when all this happened. My parents live out of town and were on a work trip when I started to miscarry three weeks ago. My mom had a layover in my city on the way back and didn't just get in a rental car and drive instead of taking the connecting flight. I'll see her this weekend for the 4th and all I can think is that when I see her the only thing I'll be able to say is "I never in my life imagined it would be a month after a miscarriage before I got a hug from my mom."

I have such a great relationship with my mom and I know she'd be completely crushed if I said that to her or if she knew I even thought it. I just think that it's been three weeks and still no mom hug and I can't help but cry. I feel like such a spoiled brat when I read this, but my parents are more than comfortable money-wise and even a same-day flight is less than $300.

I guess I just wanted to send this out into the world...not real sure why I wrote it, but it helps just to get things out.

AnotherDreamer · 07-01-2009, 04:19 PM

(*hugs*) Sorry for your loss, and for having to wait so long for your hug from your mom. I hope the time passes quickly until you see her again.

dstaiger · 07-01-2009, 09:55 PM

jules, i'm so sorry. it seems like that pain can come back in the blink of an eye. while my mother was there at the hospital with me the entire night and i appreciate that, i still feel hurt that she will never think of isaac as her grandson. she tells me all the time that her first grandchild will be so spoiled and i just want to scream that when the time comes, that baby will be her SECOND! i'm sorry your mom hurt your feelings and i'm sorry i ranted on your thread. guess i needed to put that out there too.

kentbird · 07-08-2009, 09:49 AM

SO Sorry for your loss honey, i was thinking the same thing just now about hugs form mom, my mum died a few years back and right now is the only time i need a hug form her, it sucks!!!!