Anxiety Attack?

shandris · 11-11-2005, 12:12 AM

Ok, I work at a hospital as a coding specialist. I am going to sit for my certification, and am taking a coding curriculum course through my employer, once a week each Thursday. Anyway, we have to go over the entire CPT book, well this week we were doing Urinary, male/female reproductive system and then Maternal care and OB. I was ok until the close to the end of class when we were looking at the codes for pregnancy, ectopic, Abortion/Miscarriage...we had to go over the differenct senarios and do some exercises. This may be foreign for those who don't know coding, but basically we had to look at what the insurance sees when the bill is sent to them for medical encounters and procedures. We had to find the CPT codes for the scenario that played out on paper exactly how I lost Tyler. Needless to say I kind lost it....my chest felt like someone was sitting on it, my left arm started to go a little numb (that prickly feeling you get when a limb goes to sleep), I started sweating, and breathing hard, heavy and quickly. My instructor asked if I was ok, I had to leave the room and the building to get some fresh cool air. When I returned class was over. My chest is till hurting now...that was an hour ago.

One good thing came out of it. A fellow classmate is in the OB department and she does the coding. I talked to her about GBS, IC and cerclages and insurance companies paying for it and doc performing it if you are considered low risk, and with one loss instead of two (which is what some insur. comp's require <--that is unacceptable to me to loss two or more children before they pay for something..) Anyway, she said she will talk to the Maternal-Fetal doc for me to see if a high risk doc will take me next time, and if I could have a cerclage. I don't think my current doc will do a cerclage on me...he is like...Oh you wouldn't need that. Well I feel like I do, and I will go to a different doc until I find one who will do it, even if I have to pay out of pocket for it. She is also going to look at my Operative report to see what the doc dictated and see if it says anything about IC...that will help in getting insurance coverage and getting the doc to pay attention to it next time.

Ok, was that an anxiety attack?...I know this reads kinda scarrter brain like...that is how I feel right now...cloudy...in a fog, and like a weight is on my chest, lump in my throat...geeez!

kwannabee · 11-11-2005, 02:37 AM

I'm so sorry that happened to you!!!

Sounds like anxiety to me...

it made me think of when i went back to work after being off so long from the girls...2 weeks into it i had to recertify my cpr/1st aid...i'm sitting there with my co-workers doing mouth to mouth on the little infant plastic dummies...and the instructor starts talking about the body's reaction during its last breathe...well i immediately flashed to my girls cuz i held them while it happened...just before i fell asleep holding them in my arms...everything that instructor was saying had me staring at her like a deer caught in headlights...it was scary

anyway i sat there like in a bubble and then got up and ran to the bathroom cuz i knew i couldnt hold it together another minute...they were all watching me and one girl knew exactly what was happening cuz she'd been watching me (she lost her baby at 24 weeks) so i'm in there holding the counter with these silent gasping sobs...no tears or anything but i was gasping for air...and it made me even more panicky. All the things you mentioned...thats how i felt too. Anyway, sorry for hijacking...i just feel for ya. I hope you get the information youre looking for...get help from wherever you can get it!! Good luck!

SheriKCMO · 11-11-2005, 05:11 AM

I'm so sorry you had such a terrible experience. Whatever you call it, it was emotional pain crossing over into physical pain and distress, and it's happened to a lot of us. I didn't have nearly as bad an experience. (((hugs))) I hope it was a one time thing, Shandris. Hang in there.

shandris · 11-11-2005, 03:55 PM

Well, today is a new day and I feel better now. I talked with DH on the ride home last night...I think it pains him that I still go through issues at work. Can't really get away from it...saw the resident that was taking care of me, and the lady in the elevator, who was my OR nurse, and I saw the transporter who wheeled me to and from the OR. I see reminders everyday of that horrible time. But it hurts a little less these days. I don't cry as much, and I know it will get better. I am now on this mission to get pregnant again, knowing full well that it is completely out of my control. I still don't know what 'worked' last time...DH is ready too, he doesn't really say it, although I have asked him and he said whenever I am ready we will do whatever we can, I can see it in his actions when we BD.
Kwannabee, you didn't hijack the thread, it helps me to read about other's experiences. Let's me know I am not an odd ball....let's me know it is ok to feel how I feel when I feel it. There are so many pregnant women around me...the device representative here is pregnant, a co-worker and i were in the employee lounge and she asked the rep how she was doing...the rep said "I am great, I just had my first U/S, and the doc said it is ok to tell people now, we are so happy, the baby....." I just smiled and walked out of the lounge. My co-worker came to my office, almost in tears she said "I am so sorry, I didn't even know she was pregnant and I didn't know how to make her stop." <---my coworker lost twins not too long ago..she really knows how I feel. My office mate called another coworker who was out on maternity leave to ask he a question about Avon...well when she got off of the phone she said. "She really hasn't had time to look into it because of the baby. He is not sleeping at night...he is rolling around now.." I looked at her and told her to cut it (you know the gesture where you make the slash across your throat with your hand...and then I put my fingers to my lips to get her to shut-up) She said "oh I am so sorry, I forgot!" I told her that I didn't have the luxury of forgetting and walked out of the room.
Day by day I guess...my hope is getting stronger though...still praying for my miracle.

Thanks ladies.

SheriKCMO · 11-11-2005, 04:10 PM

I am so glad to hear that you are protecting yourself against unnecessary crap at work when it is possible!! Definitely keep that up until you are ready to hear it. There will be a day when you can hear about other babies and pregnancies, and then of course you will still have bad days in between... but it will be the beginning of hope in your life.

Since it took a long time to conceive before, it is logical to "see what happens" right now, but a lot of us are extra fertile after a pregnancy. Our ovaries have had a break. If there is part of you that has reservations, you should think about it. I wish I had waited a year... the grief was very painful during the hormonal phases of pregnancy. When it happens, though, there is a new life to focus on part of the time, and it gives you a very positive thing instead of all negative all the time. So there is definitely a good side to it. I wish you luck!

Thanks for the update. Good days are always great to hear about.