I'm a newbie and I'm so glad I found this board. I have PCOS and have had anxiety and agoraphobia issues for about 10 years. The most troublesome thing for me is called depersonalization. It happens the most when I'm driving in my car and is probably the reason I don't like to drive alone. I feel normal anxiety symptoms, but I also feel like I'm in a dream or a movie and I'm watching everything around me happen rather than really being in it. It's like I'm floating above the car watching myself in a movie. I know it sounds crazy, but I guess it's not that uncommon either. I have spent years trying to understand if all this anxiety stuff is part of the hormone problems or if it's something else. I take Lexapro and I have Ativan for when the panic attacks are really bad, but I rarely end up taking it.
Does anyone here ever have any feelings like this?
Yes, although I never thought to describe them the way you did. It's like the images of horrible things happening intrude into my head. Medication has almost eliminated them, although it's only marginally controlling my anxiety levels overall.
__________________ -diagnosed 1/2004
-treating with diet and exercise
-mom to 5 furkids, Patrick the greyhound, Gretta and Samantha the rabbits, Sophie and Rosie the guinea pigs, and 4 guinea pigs waiting at the Bridge.
-working on a PhD in American History
To answer your question. Yes I get that as well. It's pretty common with anxiety and it sucks. However, when you have better control over your anxiety it won't happen.
When I first had anxiety problems, I had this problem too. I felt like I was outside my body watching myself. It scared the crap out of me and I thought I was dying. I still can't go to the places I was when it happened. Fortunately, they are places that I can avoid! I finally went to the doctor, got some anit-depressents and learned how to control my anxiety. After about 7 years, I am off the anti-depressents and I can control my anxiety on my own. I just wanted to let you know you are not alone!
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i suffer mainly with full blown dissociation, inc depersonalization so i totally know where you are coming from. please know you're not alone in things like this, and although they can be really scary, they're not something you have to cope with on your own. please feel free to get in touch if you want to talk specifics/deeper...or anything
Thanks for the comment. I deal with depersonalization every day, but I didn't use that word to describe it in my post because I figured nobody would know what it was. I'd like to know more about your experiences and how you deal with depersonalization if you don't mind sharing. I try to ignore it as much as I can, but I deal with it every day and sometimes feel like I am going crazy.
nah you're not going crazy... its just one of those things.
its helpful to have things to ground you and 'bring you back' to reality.
try to be honestly mindful with yourself about what causes your dissociation. as scary as it can be, sitting and thinking about what makes it happen can be really helpful in allowing you to see that, whilst you're not in that situation of panic and anxiety, that you can do something to change/avoid or improve it somehow. Its sometimes something thats not nice to face, but really thinking about it in a comfy safe environment cant be Very helpful.
in the car, i find scrunching my toes into a ball and back again is really helpful to re connect my mind with my body and remind myself that i'm actually there- it sometimes takes a lot of effort and you really have to Think about the feelings you are having...noticing every reaction your brain has to every movement...
its kind of fighting fire with fire... in that, rather than allowing my mind to become hypo, i become hyper vigilant; that is, when i need to snap out of it any how...
Dissociation as a whole is a coping mechanism, often related to traumatic or unpleasent experiences, so tackling what is causing it can be really helpful if you're trying to minimise its effect on your life...
of course, everyone experiences mild dissociation- day dreams etc... so it'll never totally go, and because of your experiences you may notice 'normal dissociation' more..
don't know if any of what i just said makes sense really...
as well as being someone who experiences this stuff personally i'm also a trauma counsellor so apologies if i've come across weird or full on :S
feel free to talk any time
take care and stay safe
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latest:
11/25 bfp
12/16 m/c
AF returned 2-may-09 5months after mc
I too have suffered with this quite badly. I too felt like i was going crazy and i hated feeling like that. I learnt as much as i could about what causes it and that stopped me fearing it which stopped it getting worse. It's an vicious cycle otherwise.
You have to think of it as your brain having a holiday. It's a self coping mechanism that your brain switches on to protect it from burning out, which is why thinking and reacting feels slow and you have trouble remembering things.
I still have moments of 'unrealness' but i know that they won't do me any harm and i get on with my life.
The more you ingnore it and not let it stop you, the quicker it fades.
If you let fear stop you doing things then 'it' takes control and that keeps 'it' hanging around.
Looking after your self and avoiding things that trigger your anxiety (like not sleeping, too much caffine or alcohol, not eating well) all help. I spent time with a great psyciatrist who taught me to how to manage my anxiety levels natuarally and that really helped.
Hang in there, look after your health, rest and remember you are not alone!!
I'm really sorry that you've been scared by these things...and I want to share something with you, if I may...
I had panic attacks steadily for about a year, and lots of people wanted me to go on meds for them but I decided not to...and that's when I learned what most people don't know and few will tell us when these things happen...that they are actually VERY close to spiritual practices...!
Did you know that people actually TRY to have out-of-body experiences, or that the energy that we can feel during a panic attack can actually be GOOD once we learn to control it??? I didn't until I did some learning and experimenting on my own. You see, deep down I knew I wasn't having those attacks for no reason...and they ended up showing me wonderful things about who I am (and who WE are).
It's just my 2 cents, and hopefully a way to start seeing your experiences and curious things that happen, that might just be GOOD (strange I know...but...just think about it)
By the way I am NOT a medical or spiritual authority and I think meds definitely have their place...just from my experience I think we are taught to immediately try to 'fix what's wrong with us' instead of look closely at what we might learn from what's happening.
Anxiety and floating out of my body 
