I know I live in te best country and I have the best parents and a few really good friends, but latly I have been very depressed! When I go out I put on my happy face and I joke and laugh but on the inside I am still depressed. I am 23 years old and have barely been kissed I have terrible luck with boyfriends(I can't find any) I live in a rural area and there are not very many to pick from so I tried on line dating and that has not been too good either, they are either divorced with kids or over the age of 45! I am chunky and I have very low selfesteem from that, but I am in college and when I get stressed I eat it is a vicous cycle that I cn't seem to stop! I can't get a date becuase I am fat and I can't stop eating becuase I am in school which is very stressful for me. I am so frustrated with school and my lack of action! I know I could have it alot worse but I just want what seems like everyone else has! I sit behind these two little 18 year olds in math that are so in love with each other it is almost sickening! And you know I feel like I have missed out on a part of my adolecents becuase I never had a boyfriend in high school, I had one just for a few months in college and I had one in jr high if that counts! I feel like I have been cheated becuase I have not had the little momentsthat you associate with high school. Going to the movies or parking in the woods(Like I said I live in a rural area). anyway I guess I just needed to vent if I tell my mom this stuff she just tells me I could have it alot worse and stop having a pity party for yourself! Sorry this is so long!
I'm so sorry you're depressed. You don't have to apologize for venting, go right ahead! I'm happy to listen cyster.
I'll tell you that my hubby always liked big ladies, so there are those guys out there! He still believes I'm beautiful after 3 kids and lots of weight fluctuations over the years! You're beautiful too, you're a nice person.
I hope you feel better soon hun, depression hurts so bad. I'm here if you need me cyster.
Hugs
Jenny
__________________ Jenny(30) Josh (30) married 3/30/96
PCOS dx 1/03
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Dont feel bad - EVERYONE deserves a pity party now and then. But dont be so down on yourself, I truly believe there is that one person you are destined to be with, you may have to go through some frogs (or even tadpoles) before you find Prince Charming. An it is not all about weight, it is WHO YOU ARE! The person that you are, and your spirit!
You are still young, I didnt date much in high school either - I was not allowed to - I felt the same way - that I wouldnt find anyone - but I found my DH when I was 25 and I have been happy ever since.
There IS someone out there for you, but dont rush it - enjoy your youth now!
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Pity Party away .. we all need it sometimes .. this condition certainly helps to feck up our self-esteems .. I think I have bene on a pity party for the last year over my balding ... life is tough but what I tryto do is live each day as it comes .. self esteem is the one thing that I am trying to improve on try to think more positive about yourself rather than the negatives .. beleive me its HARD but it works
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Thanks girls for the encouragement, I think I just needed to hear that. My grandma used to be the only one who could cheer me up when I felt like this, but she died a few years ago and so now I find myself in these moods and I can't get out fo them. thanks so much for letting me vent you are great cysters!
Any one for a pity party! 
