Anybody else feel like they are losing their freaking mind????

Nixmommy · 08-11-2005, 10:57 AM

God I dont know what is wrong with me. I do have a history of anxiety problems and moodiness, but lately I feel like Im losing my mind.

With dh....some days I love him and think he's just the greatest help with the kids and he's a great guy, then other days I despise him.

with the kids.....Im a teacher so Ive been home for three months...every day with both kids....not one single day did I have to myself. So Im sort of ready to go back to school, but then I cry cause i want to stay home with them.

with friends.....I get upset cause my friends have seemed too busy for me this summer but then when several of them call to do something I dont feel like being bothered. Its like I want them to call and I want pout when I am by myself everyday "stuck" with two kids, but then when different ones call I say to myself..." I dont feel like hangin around her today.."

I cant seem to make any decisions, I swear Im dying of something cause I have an elevated SED rate and elevated C-reactive protein but the doctors cant find anything wrong. I just keep going for bloodwork and more bloodwork and nothing is showing up )(which is good, but its also frsutrating as I read over and over how imflammation in the body is now the big cause of heart disease and sudden cariac death...this a year and half after my dad dropped dead out of the blue.....btw...c-reactive protein and SED rates both are indicators of imflammation somewhere in the body). So basically Im waiting to either find out I have cancer or heart disease...my doctor thinks Im nuts...

Ive been sooo tired lately and have been having some weakness and dizziness. I feel like its probably from the stress and anxiety Ive put myself through this summer worrying about what I have or dont have, but then I wonder if its a symptom of something else...

sorry to ramble...I just feell like Im going crazy. Maybe going back to work will help but then I am going to worry about dd who will be starting daycare next week for the very first time ( I stayed home with her from her birth to the end of the school year last year , and then I had the summer off ). I am dreading taking her there......

Agghhhhhhh I need relief. Maybe I should get back on zoloft.

Lost in NC,
Barb

Leany · 08-11-2005, 05:41 PM

*hugs* you need to relax, go the spa or something

Elaineno10 · 08-11-2005, 05:52 PM

I am like that too. It really is sucky!!!

Sincerely,

Elaine

tomsqtee123 · 08-11-2005, 05:59 PM

(((hugs))) There are days where I feel like that too but what has helped me is when DH comes home or is off one day just go out by yourself either shopping or go out for a walk and that alone seems to help with the anxiety. I know about anxiety all to well and I know that sometimes it can be hard to deal with. I am on Lexapro now for it and I feel much better. I hope you will feel better soon. If you need to talk I am here for you. Just PM me.

barneyb · 08-11-2005, 11:05 PM

I get this way too - your post sounded so much like me when I'm down. Being on Zoloft has helped me deal with that, although I'm getting ready to go back off of it 'cause I'm too ridiculously tired on it. You need to talk to a doctor about what you're feeling - s/he can prescribe something or refer you to a good therapist who you can talk to about what's going on.

I'm an NC teacher and we went back this week (kids don't come back 'til the 25th) - I know how you feel about that. I got to spend a lot of time with DD and loved it (most of the time anyway), but at the same time I'm ready for it all to begin.

Hang in there sweetie - you're not alone!

*pEaNuT* · 08-11-2005, 11:08 PM

*hugs* Take some time for yourself!!

ahutcherson · 08-12-2005, 12:14 AM

I know EXACTLY how you feel. One day I feel completely on top of the world, full of energy, love, and peace, and the next day (and often several days to follow) I am down, confused, depressed, feeling like no one loves me, basicly feeling like a total loser. Then all of a sudden I wake up one day and I'm all good again. What's up with all that? Drives me NUTS!!! Glad to know I'm definitely not alone, and neither are you. Hang in there. If you feel this way once you start back to school I would definitely visit your doctor for some help. Prozac does me wonders. (((Hugs)))

Love, Peace, and Blessings
Amy H.

PhoenixRaven · 08-12-2005, 12:19 AM

Barb

Just breathe a sec sweetie! It's going to work out in the end ... you are soooo not alone in feeling like that .... I am there right now with awhole lotta sh*t going in my personal life too. You really need to relax! Go on a mini-vacation and only include yourself! If you can get someone else to look after the fam for the week ... take a spa weekend and just completely pamper yourself.

here's some more

for ya!

~Corrie~

mom2peyton · 08-12-2005, 02:16 AM

Thank GOd I'm not alone!!

I don't have anxiety problems but I do have moodiness. I'm the same way withy my dh. He should get sainthood

to put up with the mood swings. Peyton just a little guy and I'm torn with wanting to stay home and just wanting to get out of the house. I'm trying to find a teaching job in my area. ditto on the friends I've also been feeling weird and seeing Dr's. I know there's something wrong I just need to convonce the Dr's. And I don't think exercising will make it all better.

maybe we can go nuts together

jcruz · 08-14-2005, 10:35 AM

I am going to say this, but I don't mean it in a sarcastic way....You need to go back on the Zoloft. I was the same as you...pretty much totally out of my mind. I was anxious about everything! I worried about everything from a curtain out of place in the living room to seeing a dead bird on the side of the road. I felt like the world was a horrible place and I needed to fix it! LOL Those meds do a hell of a job on getting your head back where it needs to be. Do it for the kids, do it for your DH, and more importantly for yourself!

If you were on it before I'm sure you know what I mean! Go see your dr and bring sanity back in your life!!!

shellsalynne · 08-15-2005, 12:18 AM

I second Jcruz! heartily! I am on Zoloft. I tried to lower my dosage before, but I started to very slowly lose it. By 6 mos, I knew I needed my full dosage. You re having depression, and you probably need your meds back. You are ruminating and getting your mind turning too much. You are having trouble sleeping, you miss friends, but have no desire to see them. it feels like your mind is going 1000 miles per hour without anyone in the driver's seat. It FEELS like anxiety. I was the same way. but it is depression. you have to try and remember, you have 2 little ones depending on having a sane mommy. And all your school babies will need you at your best soon. I know you might not want to take it, but you NEED to. Give your mind plenty of time. you are a busy woman, and there is so much to do, so many depending on you, and that is so much pressure. And if you are not at your best, it will make you nuts.

I understand what the other ladies were saying, about time for yourself and I agree, but I also know that if you are in need of Zoloft, spending time by yourself will not help. And I know that your feelings of being "stuck" with the kids are not how you normally feel about them. You chose to be a teacher because you love kids, especially your own. But right now, you are probably finding that you are being short with them, and sometimes do not even want to touch them. You also probably cannot get to sleep at a decent hour either because your mind is on hyperdrive. If you still have an active prescription, or even leftover pills in the house. take them as soon as possible. Otherwise, try to get an appt the same day with your doc.

I know you are a smart and sane woman, but right now, your thinking is not straight, and trust me, it will not get better with just a shopping trip. You have to take care of this so you can feel like yourself again.

Barb, your dd is still very young, you might be having issues with PPD. mine came on when I weaned my babies. no more oxytocin to make you mellow. whether it is PPD or not though, PLEASE get your meds barb. if nothing else, it will take the edge off while you figure everything else out. Barb, I myself have regrets about not getting on Zoloft sooner with DD #1 I know you may not want to, but it will not cause any harm to try. You may just find yourself again.