 adopting 3 boys currently
I am a mother to one daughter and a foster mother to three brothers who we are in the process of adopting.
The day after we got our license they called and asked if we could take three brothers! We accepted the placement with the understanding that it was not an adoptive placement and with the thought that this would be good practice for us to see what adopting a sibling group would really be like.
They were ages 5, 4 and 6mos. Now we've had them for a year and a half, and it turns out we can adopt them after all. It is risky, and stressful. We'd hoped after the birthmother's initial comments that things would move quickly, that she'd sign adoption papers, but she is very young and indecisive. It's scary to her to not see these kids again even though she was abusive. There have been several times when we really thought she'd get them for good and that's a position nobody wants to be in ever, but we got through it. Now it's almost certain to go through, but it's still messy and hard.
Would I do it again? YES!
Would I do it again if it hadn't gone so well? Yes. I felt this was what God wanted me to do, and I was helped tremendously throughout the whole deal. I've talked to many other foster mothers, it's definety harder emotionally if you're looking to adopt, but it's still worth it. If you have the kids before they're legally free for adoption there is risk, but there is also a great benefit. If I'd waited until these guys were legally free, they'd have to have spent this last year and a half in someone else's home, I would have missed that time to bond with them which is of immeasurable value, especially for my baby. He's now 2 and the only mama he knows is me. The other boys (now 5 and 7)are also very attached to us because they were so young when they came. The oldest is really the only one who remembers his other family in any detail. He's old enough to remember the bad times as well as the good, and knows he's better with us. He almost died with the abuse.
Lots of people ask me how my daughter has dealt with this big change, the answer is, Phenomenally! She tells the boys "we prayed and prayed and PRAYED for brothers before you came. that's why heavenly father sent you to us to be part of our family!" She and our oldest boy are the same age, but different grades. If we'd tried to have two kids of the same sex, same age, I think the problems would have been greater, but a girl and a boy excel at different things and the competition is less. She did have an adjustment period trying to figure out her role in our family, but soon figured out that what these guys needed was a big sister to tell them all the rules of their new house, and she's been great since then.
Feel free to ask me any questions, I love to chat. | 
anyone doing foster classes now? 
