Anyone feel less ashamed since DX?

MissExtremist · 07-16-2006, 09:43 PM

After i found out i actually had cystic ovaries ( which was a shock but i knew i had PCOS from the facial hair and weight gain) I was almost giddy! Of course deep down inside i was horrified because i am scared it will prevent be from being pregnant again or limit the amount of babies i can have. Everyone thought i was being a drama queen when i always talked about thinking i had PCOS . I knew everyone talked behind my back about my physical appearence. I use to look like a Barbie doll and 5 years later i look like a monster. Everyone thought i did it to myself and at times well almost all the time It made me doubt myself. Maybe i gained 60 pounds because i eat too much chocolate? Maybe i grew a full beard because i use to shave those few chin hairs when i was 18? Now, i feel liberated. I dont lie or hide about my symptoms. I always joke about growing a full beard, having to shave everyday- i actually dont feel sad about it because it's NOT my fault! I do think people still think the weight is my fault which makes me angry but i plan on proving them wrong by being on a carb-free diet which i think i will lose all the weight. Once that happen ill go back to being the pretty one and they can kiss my a$$!

cjboo1 · 07-16-2006, 11:43 PM

I know how you feel. The Dr. told me i had PCOS and i was like YEESSSSS! Finally a real name for something i have that makes me overweight and have hair and be balding at 21. I know im not insane, which i thought i was for a while i had figured that it was my fault i did something (and if i were a real religious person i would say god was punishing me for it). I know now that nothing i did made me this way it was in my genetics, my mom had it and my grandmother. So its not my fault, but i have to work to get things back to the way they should be.

NicMarc1213 · 07-17-2006, 01:13 AM

I feel ashamed about the weight, the other symptoms I can deal with. Just 3 yrs ago I was down to 160, but still on BCP. After I got married and went off BCP is when all of the symptoms came out. I have gained 60lbs. I am so embarrassed to see friends or family. I feel like they talk behind my back. "Oh my god she really let herself go"....you know things like that. How do I stop from feeling this way?

VeganMom · 07-17-2006, 01:18 AM

I wasn't so much ashamed as I was relieved and angry. Relieved I wasn't going crazy and that what I had had a name, and angry that it took so long to get dx'd!

But I can certainly relate to how you feel.... *hugs*

V.

MissExtremist · 07-17-2006, 02:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NicMarc1213

I feel ashamed about the weight, the other symptoms I can deal with. Just 3 yrs ago I was down to 160, but still on BCP. After I got married and went off BCP is when all of the symptoms came out. I have gained 60lbs. I am so embarrassed to see friends or family. I feel like they talk behind my back. "Oh my god she really let herself go"....you know things like that. How do I stop from feeling this way?

Well does your family and friends know about PCOS and what is does? Me, i just talk about it and tell everyone even tho i sound stupid alot of times. Whenever i feel insecure about myself ill just bring it up like " Did you when you have PCOS your blood sugar and harmones are so crazy and it makes you gain weight and it's extremely hard to lose it because how your body functions?" Stuff like that, just spit out random facts about PCOS. To me, i rather people feel sympathy and understand this thing i really cant control then them thinking i sit around all day eating cookie dough . ::: hugs::: o, what us poor girls have to go thru...

NicMarc1213 · 07-17-2006, 02:26 AM

No one really knows that I have PCOS. My family blames my weight on my poor eating habits and lack of exercise. It's mainly my grandmother that tells me how bloated I am everytime I see her. I know my freinds don't care but I feel self conscious about it.

stqteanasue · 07-17-2006, 02:33 AM

I'm thrilled with having a diagnosis. It was so nice to have a legitimate reason for all of the symptoms. I truly attributed a lot of things strictly to the amount of stress, but now I know this it's PCOS.

Granted, I still have the same amount of weight to lose, but there's a new point of reference.

MissExtremist · 07-17-2006, 02:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NicMarc1213

No one really knows that I have PCOS. My family blames my weight on my poor eating habits and lack of exercise. It's mainly my grandmother that tells me how bloated I am everytime I see her. I know my freinds don't care but I feel self conscious about it.

Anyone who truly cares about you should care about a health crisis you have. Is your hubby dealing okay with it and understanding? Mine is finally turned really supportive and helping me. But i still feel bad i aint the girl he met LOL ya know...

NicMarc1213 · 07-17-2006, 02:47 AM

My Dh tries to understand and he asks questions when he doesn't understand something. I totally know how you feel about not being the same person he married.
For some reason, since I have battled with my weight all of my life, I don't think that people will understand that it's PCOS that is contributing to my weight issue as opposed to my bad habits and no exercising. I feel like people just say "Yeah right, she's using that as an excuse."

I think SC should put out a pamplet about PCOS that we could hand out to everyone we come in contact with.

MissExtremist · 07-17-2006, 03:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NicMarc1213

My Dh tries to understand and he asks questions when he doesn't understand something. I totally know how you feel about not being the same person he married.
For some reason, since I have battled with my weight all of my life, I don't think that people will understand that it's PCOS that is contributing to my weight issue as opposed to my bad habits and no exercising. I feel like people just say "Yeah right, she's using that as an excuse."

I think SC should put out a pamplet about PCOS that we could hand out to everyone we come in contact with.

Oddly enough i always skinny until i was 18 i started putting on weight out of nowhere. I always ate like a pig and never gained weight. I seriously didnt even notice it for YEARS mainly because i wore alot of stretchy clothing materials so things never not fitted. I literally found out i was fat after looking at photos of myself. I was looking at my engagement party photos where i was wearing this skin tiight purple dress ( bad idea) and was horrified when i got the photos back. Everyone that sees those photos always say they didnt know i was pregnant then....which i was not ...embrassing...I am still in shock of what i look like, i seriously dont notice myself. I blamed myself at first because it was because i use to bake alot LOL My hubby swore the weight was from my obsession with chocolate but now i know sugar was prob a factor of making the pcos out of control so i started a no carb/sugar diet yesterday and boy does it hurt!

MintChai · 07-17-2006, 06:25 AM

When I was finally diagnosed with PCOS I felt validated. For about 6 years I went from one doctor to the next with the classic symptoms yet not one took me seriously. They told me that it was nothing and even my Gyn brushed it off as stress without doing any blood tests! Then finally when I felt like I was going to go crazy because the symptoms became worse, especially the weight gain, I did my own research on the net and told my doctor what tests I wanted done. Lo and behold it is PCOS. Now it's a feeling of just wondering what the future holds, what struggles lie ahead and that's emotionally draining enough without having to deal with insensitive people who dont understand what this feels like on a daily basis. I just figure some people can be just plain

.

bec415 · 07-17-2006, 02:22 PM

even though i know it's not my fault and i'm not a monster, i still feel ashamed about the facial/back/breast hair

LadyDionysus · 07-19-2006, 09:21 AM

There aren't many people in my daily life that know that I have PCOS. I am a pretty private person, and tend to keep a lot of things about myself personal, even to friends. I know PCOS isn't my fault, but being 22, with high cholesterol, IR, and hair growing everywhere, I always feel as though my body is 30 years older than it should be.

The only time it really frustrated me and upset me when I was trying to get off board at college. My school was pretty strict about people being on board unless they had a good reason (such as keeping kosher or extreme allergies). The cafeterias at school were filled with fried foods, simple carbs, simple fried carbs, and sugar everywhere. I knew I had to control what I was putting into my body, and I would not be able to do it in that setting. So at first, I just told them I was IR. I faxed the diet plan my doctor gave me for Metabolic Syndrome to the necessary people at school, then when I got back from break, I met with them. My request was initially rejected, because they said I could get everything I needed on my diet in the cafeteria, and I was furious. I wrote a long email to the person in charge laying out everything about PCOS and Metabolic Syndrome, including links and research. When I met with him again a few days later, he asked why I hadn't told him all that before, and I looked him straight in the eye and told him that I thought it was none of his business. I still think that's true.

sleepydumpling · 07-19-2006, 01:09 PM

I was so relieved to get my dx, but I still feel ashamed of my weight and the excess hair. People generally don't believe me when I try to tell them I have a medical condition, they think I'm just making excuses for being fat and hairy. So I don't bother anymore trying to explain, because I've found it's a waste of breath mostly.

But at least I know that there is a reason and now I have a good doctor who understands what I'm going through.

I've said it before Lisa, but it needs to be said often - you're an incredible woman!

Pebbles74 · 07-19-2006, 06:25 PM

After years of wondering what was going on with my body and being told by EVERY doc I went to that I needed to loose weight (even after I told them how no matter how hard I try I keep gaining) It was such a relief to know why, but when I told people close to me what I had I had to go into depth about what exactly PCOs is, most of them were like o.k well what happens now but some still tried to make it like it was something I was doing, I got the "well maybe if you ate less at dinner and drank more water and exercised blah, blah"
I felt like I have to defend myself, and now that I have come to next stage of my life where I want to expand my family I keep getting let downs and dissapointments one right after the other on this whole ttc front and ask myself why did we wait so long to try??
But I have been reading the TTC board and feel better with my odds. There are a lot of wonderful people on this board and i feel i can get the emotional support I here because we have all been through this and kow what each of us has gone through to get this diagnosis.

Positive vibes to all