My DH has smoked MJ for over 10 years. Never enough to be totally smashed but enough to take away emotional pain from an abusive childhood and help him sleep.
For the last 12 months we have been having pretty bad relationship problems and have started seeing a phsychologist. One big problem she has with us is the MJ usage and asked DH to reduce his intake. As he is a total stubborn male he has cut it off completely just to prove to us that MJ has no effect with depression etc and that our relationship problems are not being caused by his usage.
He has been off it for 3 weeks now and it's been like a living hell. I had an appointment with the phsyc last night alone because I am feeling as though I can't take this anymore and although she is very worried and very shocked at how quickly he has crashed she assured me it's mostly from the withdrawals and it will get better but usually takes a good 3 months for someone to begin functioning properly after going off it.
He is depressed and I think I am too a bit but he seems to have lost all sense of reality......eg, he's always been a scrooge with money to the point where I have had to smuggle in a loaf of bread at one stage yet he went and saw the bank the other day about loaning $90,000 for a new car and a sea boat (we live at least a 5hr drive away from the nearest coast!), alot of his behaviour is symptomatic of bipolar and schytzophrenic (sp?) according to the phsyc and she has picked up on at least one suicidal warning sign.
He seems to have such a power over me though and no matter how many times the phsyc or my Mum tells me that it's him that needs to sort himself out he still has me doubting if it's all in my imagination.
I guess what I'm really worried about is whether I've done the right thing or not by making him stop using. Should I have left good enough alone or is it worth putting up with all his resentment towards me at the moment and the withdrawals to have him come out the other side a better, happier person?
I'm interested in hearing anyone's experiences they have had with MJ usage.
My experiences with MJ and people I love using MJ are lifelong, and I can't really go into all that right now (EXTREMELY LONG AND COMPLICATED), but I wanted to say that many people think that since it's not on the same level as say... heroin, that it should be easy to kick (maybe your DH was in this category). That is very, very untrue. And it does take a couple of months for it to get it out of your body, especially if he used as often as he seemed to have. My SD tried to kick it MANY times during my childhood, and he behaved quite a bit like you're describing your DH. He always went back because my mom let him because she couldn't suffer through his behavior when he wasn't using. She preferred enabling him, and he manipulated her into doing that by treating her like sh*t for "doing this to him".
Marijuana is a DEPRESSANT. If you give a depressant to a depressed person, or someone that is (potentially) mentally ill, it is very difficult for them to live a healthy life (emotionally speaking) because they will very rarely ever seek the help they truly need. They think the Band-Aid that is pot is going to be sufficient to keep the pain away, and it's a hell of a lot easier.
It was good of you to take the first step and stop enabling him, but it's been my experience that he won't give it up completely without a fight and won't change unless he really, really wants to. If you really feel this will save your relationship, and the person you love, stay firm. It's not in your head. This is not something that you're DOING TO HIM. It seems like you were starting to lose your relationship because of this, and you're fighting for it, and that is something to be proud of. So many people just give up.
Kudos and good luck. Keep us posted, you have support here.
This may not be the most popular opinion but sometimes I think MJ can be a good medicine for emotional disorders.
I had a friend who was bipolar and had extreme manic episodes. He saw boatloads of doctors, was committed to institutions more than once and had major anger issues. He started smoking pot everyday and he balanced, he's still an intense guy but now he's getting his masters in philosophy and living a pretty normal life. For someone who ten years ago was being hospitalized and arrested I thought it was a good step. Its CERTAINLY not for everyone, but it REALLY helped Todd.
I appreciate both responses. I know there is always 2 sides to this.
I am pretty sure he has relapsed, at least a little. I'm not greatly upset about that as the phsyc did suggest cutting back rather than going cold turkey. He has been much better to live with the last 4 or 5 days.
I'm wondering if I am being selfish to some degree about his usage, it's such a problem that DH hates people visiting the house for fear that he will be caught out and as my Father lives in another Country he always stays with us when he is home which creates problems because DH can't smoke while he is here. For those reasons I feel selfish in wanting him to stop.
We also have a child now and I fear the day that he finds it and eats it or something, not to mention if DH gets caught by the Police then I'd be in trouble too, where does that leave DS?
It's a fight to get DH to go anywhere, this last weekend is the 1st time he has come to the park with DS and I in 15 months, when it comes to family dinners etc I don't even bother anymore. I mean he is so withdrawn from the world he wont even take me out to dinner alone...I can't remember the last time. It's things like this that are bothering me. The money situation scares me greatly as well.
I can understand why he needs to smoke it, he had a very screwed up childhood and has seen an awful lot of terrible accidents. He was recently speaking to a long serving Ambulance Officer and he told him all the tragedies he's been witness to and the Officer said he's seen just about as much as he has in all his years of service. They are things I wouldn't wish on anybody.
I guess that's my problem, I've never smoked MJ nor have I lived through anything like DH has and I think that's what is confusing me. I really don't know if I'm doing the right thing.
I guess I just need to keep up the therapy and see where it takes us.......As a child I never saw my life this way. I want to be a kid again!!
Oh, DH NEVER smokes in the house or around DS, it's always alone in the shed out of sight. At least that's one blessing I guess.
Anyone have any experience with Marijuana? 
