sherlynn

Monday we went to a picnic with one of our really good friends who has 4 month old twins ( she actually has PCOS too) but my heart is just breaking one of the other women shoved the baby in my arms & my 2 year old just squeeled & was so into the baby it just broke my heart. I did not ask to hold the baby ..I did not express any interest in holding the baby.. why do people do that???

I am really so happy for my friend who has the twins, they are just amazing miracles but I am just not ready to googoo gaagaa over them. Why does that make me feel like such a bad person.

I am really struggling with this m/c b.c. I have a little girl already and I really do not feel like I am supposed to be grieving b.c.

I am already so blessed and that is all anyone says to me .. "Well at least you have Kyra" & I know its true but why am I not allowed to be sad or grieve? I feel like since I can not express how sad I really am I am just keeping everything bottled up inside that its become overwhelming.

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SherLynn
Me (38) DH ( 37)
4 Miscarriages
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8/04 8wks, 4/05 6wks, 4/08 8wks 7/08 5 wks
Kyra Grace born 6/24/06 - my heart




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Miracle07

Sherlyn- I am so sorry. I think that everyone thinks that everyone just wants to hold a baby. I know how you feel. Before I had my son, people used to do that to me all the time. It was hard and painful emotionally. I also have received the same comments " at least you have Jackson" I feel like saying "Yes I am very greatful for the miracle and blessing that I have been given but I miss my baby that I lost" Like you said, you feel like people don't feel like you should greive but we need to. We have had a loss and it is OK can greive.

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Melissa (29)
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DH (31)
Metformin ER
miscarriages
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8/03, 4/06, and 5/08
DS: Jackson Matthew born 3/15/07 after 4 1/2 years TTC. Truly a miracle!


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sherlynn

Thanks miracle.. I just wish others understood that as well as you ladies do.

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SherLynn
Me (38) DH ( 37)
4 Miscarriages
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8/04 8wks, 4/05 6wks, 4/08 8wks 7/08 5 wks
Kyra Grace born 6/24/06 - my heart




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AnotherDreamer

(*hugs*)
I really wish people would be more considerate.

I avoided all family with babies as best I could this weekend, but it was hard because we had a funeral on Saturday. And my dad kept wanting me to look at this baby because it was staring at me, smiling. And I smiled back at it and it laughed... and I felt like crawling away somewhere to cry.
It was sweet, but it hurt because I lost my baby, ya know?

It's hard, whether we have one already or not. A child lost is a child lost.
(*hugs*)

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CelticSpirit

People who haven't been through a loss just can't understand it.

You should be able to grieve without someone insinuating that you're not grateful for the child(ren) you have. That's just obnoxious. They would never say to a person grieving the loss of their father, "Well, at least you still have your mother!" So, why do they have to comment about us having another child. Try saying that to someone who lost their infant or older child and see how it would go over.

Grrrr.

Yes, this just ticks me off.

And, I'm so sorry that you had to deal with this.

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Celtic Spirit

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nae

you have all the right in the world to feel the way you do... I have two children and had a m/c in April and it hurts not to have that baby... I know I'm truly blessed but it still hurts when you lose a child.

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svaldez

I am so sorry. That must have been really hard. I can totally relate. My best friend just had twins, and while I know she struggled to get pregnant herself, it is still really hard and the baby shower, filled with lots of babies and pregnant women, was sheer torture.

I am totally feeling the same things. Yes I feel so lucky to have my DD, but it is still really painful and a lot of people don't get that.

It seems like secondary infertility (though I still dealt with infertility with DD) seems to have it's own set of feelings with it doesn't it?

((hugs to you))
Sharon

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Sharon - 33 Issac - 35
Sofia Rose 7/20/04 conceived after 2nd IUI
11/20 and 11/21 last chance (5th) IUI
12/5/07 - BFP EDD: 8/11/08
1/18/08 - we lost our baby - feeling lost, sad and confused

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