This was going to be the year I converted to Catholicism. I felt a strong call to the Church, and have been in RCIA since the beginning of summer. We are supposed to take our vows tomorrow, which means I would be technically Catholic, but not able to receive Holy COmmunion until Easter Vigil in Spring.
Thing is, my life is showing me no matter how hard you believe, how hard you pray, how much you truly live by what you believe to be God's direction, your life can be beaten into an unrecognizable semblance of pain.
I lost all my family by age 25. Absolutely everyone. Sister died young, Mom died at 55, aunt, etc...
And now, at 31, with a lifetime of never being able to get my body to work, I have to undergo surgery, just when I had clawed my way back into my career.
I have to dwindle my savings by at least half as i am unpaid, sitting at home with an empty pelvis, and a new apartment full of boxes because i also have to move in the short time I have before surgery.
No mother, no sister, no anyone that matters to be there when i wake up from surgery, if I wake up.
That's not exactly ask and you shall receive.
__________________ final PCOS dx: 9-13-2004
first day of Metformin: 9-13-04
years with PCOS: 15
HW: 350
LW: 136
CW: 268, down 72 pounds!
LTGW: 128, STGW: 250
Meds: Metformin 2000mg, Provera 10 mg, Lipitor,Singulair
I was beginning to lose my faith (at least in catholicism) long before being diagnosed...and it didn't help that the catholic faith tells me that we conceived our child in sin, because my husband took a "sperm test" to make sure his boys could swim before I got an HSG and started Clomid. (Since a sperm test involves masturbation...) They also condemn IUI and IVF (since the male has to ejaculate outside of the "marital act"). We were lucky enough to conceive the "natural way" (not counting the Clomid and Metformin!) but he did take a test at the beginning of our TTC.
If the catholic church feels that way, we'll raise our child in another religion (should I be so lucky to be PG again) that doesn't feel he/she was conceived in sin due to a simple, standard test...
I still am comforted by spiritual thoughts and believe my dog and miscarried child are in heaven somewhere together...but it's a non-denominational heaven where all are welcome.
__________________ Lean cyster ~ M/c @ 10 wks after seeing heartbeat 8/04, m/c @ about 10 weeks after seeing heartbeat 8-09. 2 chemical PGs lost @ 4.5 wks 1/05 & 3/05. 4/05: Dx w/antiphospholipid antibody syndrome.
BFP on Thanksgiving 2009! Due date August 9, 2010. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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To answer your question, i have never lost faith, although i have felt a bit like Job a time or two. I was raised catholic, so i can answer from that stand point, but i have to admit, i have learned more about faith since i became a born again Christan. I only mention it because i don't want to confuse you with the rest of this post.
We are taught, in John 10:10, that the enemy comes in to steal, kill and destroy, but that Christ comes that we may have life, and life more abundant.
The enemy has come into your life, and he has stolen from you, in every sense of the word, but you have faith in Christ, and that means you can have life, and life more abundant.
I know this isn't as easy as it seems, it is very hard to look at life and see the things that seem lost to us, then say i have life. But as you draw closer to Christ it becomes easier.
as an adopted child, i too, am familiar with losing a family early in life. In the 23 psalm verse 4, we hear " though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i will fear no evil, for your rod and your staff comfort me". To me the most important word in that quote is THROUGH. It reminds me that i am not going to stay in the valley, that the Lord is going to comfort me, and lead me through the bad stuff.
In 2 cor 5:7 we are told we walk by faith and not by sight. Again, not as easy as it sounds. It is hard to remember when we are not able to work, and it seems like we are losing everything important to us, that what we are seeing is God closing one door, so he can open another. But we have God's promises and we are not alone.
I hope this has been helpful, and doesn't sound like a bunch of platitudes. This is something i sincerely believe, with all my heart.
Isa 40:31 But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
May the joy of the Lord be with you always!
__________________ I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!
I don't know if I can be much of a help, since I am not christian. I was raised catholic, but my religion is different now.
What I can say is that my biggest belief in life is that no matter what you must have faith that there is something out there and it guides you. You must trust that even though in your life you might suffer, that in the end there is a purpose to everything. Faith will lead you through your dark times.
God will not always answer our prayers. Sometimes he answers them with a yes, sometimes a firm no, but sometimes he won't answer at all. That doesn't mean He doesn't listen to our problems, our prayers. I am an Evangelical Christian and have been through a lot and seen a lot and know something about Faith--it's not always easy. It never is supposed to be easy. It's these challenges that brings us closer to God, and He wants us to come to Him with our problems and if you don't seem to hear an answer from Him, that doesn't mean we should turn away or stop believing, but to stay the course because Christ is the only constant in our lives. The book of Job in the Bible is a good book to read... if you haven't read it, I think you should...it's about Job (a wealthy, respected, and dedicated follower of God) who's wife and children die, he loses him home, all his land and animals, money, and then becomes seriously ill and he eventually loses all his friends. He is all alone and sick..but He never curses God or loses His faith in Him...and God sees this and what happens in the end is beautiful--you can read it for yourself. But not all of us will have an answer to our problems like Job's...but we should never lose our faith because in the end, God will be there waiting for us with open arms in that comforting place, but only if we believe in Him. I'm praying for you.
Like Heksubah, I am not a Christian. I'm not interested in getting down on anyone's faith - hey, whatever gets you through the day - but I have issues with the basic tenets of Christianity.
You may find, frozensensei, that you find the answers and comfort you need in a religion other than Christianity. You might find those answers by eschewing religion completely.
The trouble with PCOS - and one of its favorite buddies, depression - is that just dealing with it can sap you of the strength to deal with all the other stuff in your life. Hang in there. Take care of yourself (I'm on my way to a candle lit bath). It will get better, faith or no faith.
__________________ Everything I know I learned by eating the brains of smart people
It seems that I'm the only practicing Catholic here so let me give my 2 cents...in my husband's RCIA class, the ladies who ran the group used to "joke" that that RCIA stood for: Roman Catholics In Agony. It seems as though the more they committed themselves to doing the Lord's work, the more they got slammed with garbage in their lives. They all had horrible times in their lives (we're not talking about simple problems...each and every one of those ladies had some really major problems in life) but they all sought comfort in their religion.
They all believed that the trials in life were just the devil trying to break down their faith. They refused. One of the ladies mentioned "Footprints". It was during the hardest times in life that the Lord carries us.
I'm so very sorry to hear that you keep getting slammed with junk, but please don't give up your faith. Whether it be Catholic, or other Christian denomination or some completely different religion altogether, please...please...please...don't give up.
Please PM me if you'd like to talk some more, OK? I'm here for you!
I am not Catholic, I am pentacostal. It doesn't matter, though, because if Jesus is Lord of your life, we serve the same God. I hve been a Christian for 15 years and let me tell ya-- there have been some rough times! The Bible says that the testing of your faith produces patience.(James 1:3)and goes on to say in vs. 4 that it will perfect you. God may be preparing you for something. If you feel down and like God is no where in sight, look to the Psalms for comfort. It did wonders for me.I'm praying for you!
anyone lost their faith due to their illness? 
((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) 
