anyone want to adopt and still ttc?!?! - Page 2

cleeszoooo · 09-15-2009, 02:14 AM

to tell you the truth, when i looked into fertility treatments, all that came up was IVF... I knew we couldn't afford that... especially since it might not work. So I looked at private adoption... that was A Lot of money too... then I found foster/adopt... We had 13 weeks of classes where they stress to you that the main goal is RU. I must say we had a WONDERFUL caseworker... she knew my story and how we wanted to adopt. We knew it probably wouldn't happen right away, and we were OK with that... the babies in foster care need a good family, even if its only for a little while. The twins were our 2nd placement, and we knew from day 1 they would be staying...(I don't know if any of you believe in this sort of thing... but when we were in the classes, I had nightly dreams that were getting healthy twin girls noone wanted) they never had a visit, they were born with NO drugs/alcohol in their system... they were truely meant to be my children... they were concieved the week we started the training classes... If you feel drawn to adopt, there may be a reason... your child could be waiting for you... you wouldn't believe how everything happened for us... I called for info and a session was starting the next week... everything fell into place, and I just know that its meant to be....

ETA: I NEVER thought that we would be able to get a newborn.... my first placement was a 3 week old baby girl... she went to adoption by her next foster family too... It happens way more than you think... (at least in my area)... the way I researched it back then... 1/3 of children will be sent home... 1/3 get adopted by realitives... and 1/3 get adopted by foster parents... I would seriously consider getting licensed to foster/adopt and being picky about what placements you take... my age limit was 1 year old. be sure your caseworker knows that you would prefer long term placements... I just wanted to let you know that it is possible...

cleeszoooo · 09-15-2009, 02:48 AM

here's my twins

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GO STEELERS!!!!!!

HRkswildcat · 09-15-2009, 10:51 AM

Those pictures made me smile! What adorable little girls you have. They look so happy.

I have always thought about adoption, mostly because I worked at a pre-school for children with special needs for 6 years. There are a lot of children in foster care waiting for good families, but even more children with special needs that are in foster care. It's heartbreaking. In fact...when I was 24 and single there was one little boy that I would have totally tried to foster/adopt if he hadn't had such a wonderful foster mom.
Even if you can't foster/adopt there are some great programs like big brothers/sisters to help out children.

mixedupmarie · 09-15-2009, 02:39 PM

DD is adopted because I had to delay any fertility treatments until my condition (Lupus) was under control. I don't regret it by the time we finished the adoption process we were already ttc again. Now that we are expecting or fist biological child it's extra special and DD is thrilled to have a sibling on the way. Each person's path is very different. But God has a plan for everyone and great things come to those that wait.

ChristinaLee · 09-15-2009, 03:35 PM

Beautiful stories ladies!! And you beautiful kiddos! Thank yall for sharing, it makes me so excited for our future!!

northwoodsgirl · 09-15-2009, 03:59 PM

Beautiful children. My DH and I are are TTC but I keep getting this prompting that we should stop and pursue adoption. DH has been for adoption since the beginning and I agreed, but just wanted to try for a pregnancy first.
I have to admire you ladies because fostering is such a noble thing and really giving these very special children a home filled with love is the greatest thing anyone could do.

theOceanicSix · 09-15-2009, 05:56 PM

I don't know if I could foster, actually. I can totally see myself loving all the children I fostered, but then having them be taken away. I couldn't handle that emtionally.

dkim1986 · 09-15-2009, 06:10 PM

im glad you posted this, we are in our first inj cycle, 2ww, and i have always wanted to adopt, plus DH keeps reminding me that if treatments dont work we can always adopt, so he is supportive, well on my way from work too class last night i noticed a billboard that i hadnt noticed before, it was for state adoption in our county exclusivly and it had a website, all i could think about during class is how i wanted to get on that site and see what it said, so i got home read the whole site and looked through the kids that need families. i think i would like a sibling group, 2 maybe 3, i saw a little girl 6 and boy 5 on there and had a dream about them last night as well (they were our children in the dream) so i know, even if we have our own, (i too desperatly want to be pregnant atleast once) we will adopt,

also here is a question, on the site it says when you adopt you get a monthly stipend fro the child until they turn 18 and that they get 4 years at a florida college paid for, is this normal?
TIA

MHootie · 09-15-2009, 06:26 PM

[/quote] also here is a question, on the site it says when you adopt you get a monthly stipend fro the child until they turn 18 and that they get 4 years at a florida college paid for, is this normal?
TIA[/quote]

I work in the foster care system in Texas and we also offer a subsidy (like child support) and a tuition and fees waiver for public colleges in Texas. Our waiver is a lifetime waiver and will apply to anything from technical school to law school or med school and never expires if the youth completes one course successfully by the age 21. In Texas, the children have to meet certain criteria to qualify for the subsidy and I imagine it would be the same in Fl. I know money is not the motivator but be sure to ask.

MWpuravida · 09-15-2009, 07:36 PM

My husband and I will eventually adopt. We have one biological child and one on the way. Had I known it would be this hard to have the second I think we would have started pursuing adoption already! We are planning to move in about two years to Uruguay, and open an orphanage. It is our hope to partner with an american adoption agency. I look forward to adopting children from our home (orphanage) out to families that have the heart's all you ladies do! And a few more for us...
Clees, your girls are without a doubt, absolutely adorable!

melindaleigh · 09-15-2009, 07:37 PM

Hi Ladies,
I too, am considering adoption while TTC. We have had 1 full year of TTC with medical intervention and I want to be a mom so badly that I want to get the process started. DH has always dreamed of having a biological child first, and I don't so much care the order, but have always dreamed of getting pregnant and carrying my own child.

So our first meeting is Thursday, for a state adoption. We are going to get the info and sign up for the 10 week training and then start our home study process. It is so great to hear that there are more of us pursuing both avenues! Best of luck to each of you, and thanks to those who have been through this and offered advice!

mamiof1 · 09-15-2009, 08:14 PM

This thread is awesome! I could have written some of those posts. Also, add me to the list of husbands in school! my husband is just about to finish law school in December (I can't wait)
I have always had this longing in my heart for adoption. My husband is supportive of it, but he wants to at least try for 1 year to have another bio child and then pursue adoption. I would adopt even if we have more of our own, as long as we have the means to do it, but I don't know if my husband is quite there yet. I think it is a wonderful thing. Children are precious blessings no matter where they come from.

I wish everyone the best in their journey!

MHootie · 09-15-2009, 08:50 PM

I think a lot of times we (cysters) are already mothers in our hearts it's just a matter of having a child to fill the other half. I know that I would love to have a bio child but I honestly don't care. I just want to be a mom. Period. I don't care how it happens I just want to be a mom and wife. My husband would like to have a bio child first but I think he is seeing (after 13 months) that it's going to be difficult and who cares what order they come in. We can work on adopting and still TTC. It's just a matter of getting these boys of out dang school. After 2 years, December cannot get here fast enough!!!!!!
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dkim1986 · 09-16-2009, 05:13 PM

also here is a question, on the site it says when you adopt you get a monthly stipend fro the child until they turn 18 and that they get 4 years at a florida college paid for, is this normal?
TIA[/quote]

I work in the foster care system in Texas and we also offer a subsidy (like child support) and a tuition and fees waiver for public colleges in Texas. Our waiver is a lifetime waiver and will apply to anything from technical school to law school or med school and never expires if the youth completes one course successfully by the age 21. In Texas, the children have to meet certain criteria to qualify for the subsidy and I imagine it would be the same in Fl. I know money is not the motivator but be sure to ask.[/quote]

no money is definatly not the motivator, i just didnt know if i was reading that wrong or not, i just didnt think they did that, i think if it is true and we adopt and they qualify i would be put into a sacings account for them anyways

theOceanicSix · 09-16-2009, 05:43 PM

So if one of the perspective adoptive parents had been sexually abused as a child, would that count against them when trying to adopt? I was reading the Adoption board and I saw that it was brought up and that it CAN affect the process. Is this true??