DH and I went to our first Adoption orientation class last week to adopt through the state of FL.
In that meeting, they mentioned that some of the best books are Three Little Words, and Parenting or Adopting? the Hurt Child.
I just bought twenty things adopted kids wish their parents knew. I haven't started reading it yet though.
The second one mentioned is adopting the hurt child, I only know that because I have that one...! It's good but sad, it gives alot of actual stories of children. Another GREAT book is adopted for life... The oceanicsix suggested it to me & I just got it! I'm only on chapter 2, the first chapter made me cry like a baby. He is talking about who should read the book and all of his statements hit home "husbands who cringe when their wives mention adoption because they so badly want to have their "own" children & who hate themselves a little for feeling that way. The wife who keeps an adoption application upstairs as a last resort but is desperately wanting to see 2 purple lines on her HPT"
this is not an exact quote but oh my gosh...I was crying like a baby!!!!
It's great but I will say that it is a Christian book and talks alot about how we are adopted by Christ! I know it's not a read for everyone but it is excellent!
__________________ Pursuing international adoption from Ethiopia!!
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DH & I have been talking alot about pursuing foster to adopt and we think we are ready to get started! I'm so excited! I can't wait to get back in town & find out when the next set of classes start! We are currently renting a one bedroom condo so when our lease is up we will look for a 2 bedroom...I'm so excited.
I know we are a long way off still but we found some precious stuffed animals that stand up as decoration...we always wanted a jungle themed room & the animals are an elephant, lion & tiger. They are so precious...they are at SAMs if anyone else is ever interested!
Anyways I just had to share!
Anyone else taking the plunge?!?
__________________ Pursuing international adoption from Ethiopia!!
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We start our classes tomorrow and I am SOOOOO excited! I am a CPS caseworker so I feel like i know what to expect but not so sure about DH. He will probably be shocked by some of the horrible things these kids go through. The trainer was actually my supervisor at one point so it should be fun. She said some of it will be independent study, I'm guessing books or something. Any recommendations for books? I have read Another Place at The Table....just a suggestion for anyone else. It's an AWESOME book about a foster parents journey. Just gives me chills. Anyway, I'll KIT about how it goes.
~Michelle
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Me (25) DH (25) TTC since 08/08 1500mg Met (ER), Prenatals, Baby Aspirin 4 Rounds Clomid, 2 Rounds Femara; O'd--all BFN Round 8: 10/19/09: Femara 10mg 2-6, BFP at 13dpt!!! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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Congrats Michelle, I bet you & DH are very excited! You will be doing foster to adopt, right? What ages are yall considering? I can't wait to hear what you think of the first class!
Books I have: adopting the hurt child & adopted for life! Both great in different ways!
__________________ Pursuing international adoption from Ethiopia!!
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Thanks for the suggestions!! We are going to do foster/adopt, ages 0-2 and will only take 2 kids. We will be more flexible on the ages probably up to 3 in case of sibling groups. I say we will do foster/adopt NOW but I hate to think what it will be like if and when they leave. I will probably just want legal risk placements then. Who knows!!?! I just have to remind myself that it's about them, not me.
On a side note, I really don't want the director to tell the other families that I work for CPS or that she was my supervisor. I don't want them to think we will get preferential treatment or...I don't know. I just don't want that stigma I guess. How would y'all feel about that??
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Me (25) DH (25) TTC since 08/08 1500mg Met (ER), Prenatals, Baby Aspirin 4 Rounds Clomid, 2 Rounds Femara; O'd--all BFN Round 8: 10/19/09: Femara 10mg 2-6, BFP at 13dpt!!! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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Michelle Id feel the same way. I'm sure you want to feel and want everyone else to feel like you are all on a level playing field. No special treatment! To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
we want to do 0-2 as well, any race or gender. We are kind of considering maybe 3 months to age 2 only because we couldn't take off of work for several weeks to take care of a newborn...especially if we may get placed with different children for varied amounts of time. Are you going to still be working or staying at home? I have so many questions about things like that!
__________________ Pursuing international adoption from Ethiopia!!
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That's awesome!!! Isn't it fun to think about all this stuff?!?! I could take time off work, like maternity leave. We haven't really decided if I am going to stay home. It really depends on DH's job after he graduates in December. And, I want to stay at home when we have bio kids (at least the 1st year) I don't want to treat the foster kids any differently. BUT, Tx pays for daycare and with working for CPS, they are very flexible with taking off and working from home. Now that you mention it, I don't really know what we are going to do. Thanks for bringing it up!
What about you? How many kids will y'all take? Did you say when you are going to start? I don't remember... My other question was when do people start buying things for the kids? Like crib, carseat, toys, etc. They don't come with anything unless they are being moved from another placement. I think I want our house to look ready too when they come out for the home study even if we are moving. I don't know!! So much to think about. Maybe I will get more answers tomorrow.
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Me (25) DH (25) TTC since 08/08 1500mg Met (ER), Prenatals, Baby Aspirin 4 Rounds Clomid, 2 Rounds Femara; O'd--all BFN Round 8: 10/19/09: Femara 10mg 2-6, BFP at 13dpt!!! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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michelle... i'm surprised they are letting you get licensed through where u work... most times ppl have to go through an agency or different county... if you only take legal risk placements, you prolly won't get many young/infants... it is def hard when they leave... but like u said they need u way more than u need them...
Cleeszoooo: Yeah we are going through a private agency. The supervisor there used to work for CPS so it's kinda crazy how it all turned out. In Texas, we are divided into regions (several counties) I won't be able to take kids from the 2 regions that follow my chain of command. As anyone can imagine with the state, it was an act of congress to get answers on the proper protocol. Craziness!!!
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Me (25) DH (25) TTC since 08/08 1500mg Met (ER), Prenatals, Baby Aspirin 4 Rounds Clomid, 2 Rounds Femara; O'd--all BFN Round 8: 10/19/09: Femara 10mg 2-6, BFP at 13dpt!!! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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Michelle--I could do maternity leave as well but I'd only want to do that if I knew it was a permenant placement...only because I won't be able to take off for that long as each new placement comes and goes! And yes it is so fun to think about all of these things!
We are looking into when the next set of classes start!
As for as buying stuff, I want to start now but DH feels we should wait until we are closer to actually being certified before we buy anything...he is worried it will make me sad to have baby stuff in the house with no baby! To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
so how was the first class!?! I've been dying to know! Tell me as much as you can!
__________________ Pursuing international adoption from Ethiopia!!
Praying for our little one!! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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The class was really good!! We talked a lot about child development, loss and separation, behaviors, and the differences between goals CPS might have. A lot of people had questions are the process and how it works between removal and when the child is placed in their home. I think the practical information is more what people are interested in. We only have 4 classes and will be finished with those on Nov. 7. In the meantime, we are getting all of our paperwork done like copies of ss cards, birth cert, marriage license, and lot of other stuff. I'm sure this stuff is pretty standard so I would suggest getting now just to have everything in place. Like here, they need our tax return and I have to get it from the IRS we know that will take a while. We also have to have FBI fingerprint checks and they take about 2-3 weeks to get them back so we will get those done first. So it might seem like a lot but it's all really manageable.
I have bought a few things when I catch them on sale but we don't have any furniture up. DH was just talking about it all last night and said he needs to be allowed a "freak out" moment when they call about the first child. To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Like an "I can't believe this is happening!!" moment. He knows and I know he will be an awesome father but we don't have any kids and it will be an adjustment. He just needs a moment to process everything. It makes me happy to know he at least thinks about it. I don't want to be the only one obsessing. Lol.
~Michelle
__________________
Me (25) DH (25) TTC since 08/08 1500mg Met (ER), Prenatals, Baby Aspirin 4 Rounds Clomid, 2 Rounds Femara; O'd--all BFN Round 8: 10/19/09: Femara 10mg 2-6, BFP at 13dpt!!! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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Hi ladies,
I just noticed your thread! I think I belong here... Look at my tickers! To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Do you mind if I share my story? I am 40 and had been TTCing for 5 years and have all sorts of issues-- everything from cardiac arrhythmias to a clotting disorder discovered after my second m/c and my age... So in August 2008 we finally started down the road of adoption-- like you Christina, I had always believed since I was young that I was going to adopt. (Something in my heart told me-- hard to explain!) We were looking to adopt an older child between 3 - 5 years old and were accepted in January of this year. Well, after years of infertility, in January I suddenly fell pregnant (for the second time in five years). The baby was due on Sept 25th-- and we saw a heartbeat at 7 weeks. Then at 8.5 weeks we went back to find that there was no heartbeat. We were heartbroken but of course, kept dreaming of our adopted child who we knew was coming to us. I waited and waited to miscarry and nothing-- so finally I had a D & C on March 2nd. The doctor also convinced me to do tests for repeat m/c even though I had only lost two babies and we knew the first loss was due to a genetic defect. Anyway, my period never came again and in that month, I fell pregnant again! Unbelievable. And in the same month, the tests for APA (a clotting disorder that causes m/c) came back positive. So I was immediately put on injectable blood thinners and aspirin and here I am... almost 30 weeks pregnant with our little boy! An absolute miracle. But then the second miracle-- about five weeks ago we received a phone call from the adoption agency. I had decided not to tell them I was pregnant because of my previous losses and something just held me back. (I still have the e-mail I wrote them when I was three months pregnant but didn´t send them because I just couldn't!!!) Anyway, they told us they had matched us with a mother having a baby-- due on Sept. 25t-- that was my EXACT due date for our baby conceived in Jan! I just knew it was a girl-- even though they didn´t tell us about the sex. Anyway, we immediately jumped at the opportunity and the agency was completely in agreement with respecting the match even though we are pregnant. They agreed it was a miracle that we had finally conceived at 40 and that we had a viable pregnancy. (We live in Mexico-- so yes, the people at the agency also used the word miracle-- I´m not making it up!) And finally, they told us the most amazing news-- that the baby is a girl!!! We both started crying... Anyway, we are waiting for the birth of our daughter any day now. We are so excited that we will be raising our daughter and son almost like twins-- just two months apart. As we tell everyone-- they will be twins of the cradle and of the heart. (In Spanish, gemélos de cuna y de corazón.) All I can say is that we feel doubly blessed!!!!
BABY DUST TO ALL OF YOU LADIES WHO ARE PURSUING ADOPTION AND TTCing!!! May God bless you with the babies/children you are dreaming of... To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. My only advice is FAITH and PATIENCE... With time, what you are feeling in your hearts will happen. Just believe and it will happen.
__________________ Kimmy-Ki
TTCing since 4/04--now 40 & fab!
2 precious angels: 1/07--"Faith" m/c 6.5 weeks;
2/09--m/c 8.5 weeks
3/09--Accepted for adoption
4/5/09--Surprise BFP after D & C!
6/16/09--It's a beautiful boy! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
"Ask for what you want and be prepared to get it."
--Maya Angelou
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We are currently fostering 4 children and in the process of adopting one of them but we are still trying to conceive ... well I guess you can say we did conceive this month but had no idea until we miss carried on thursday. That doesn't mean we're giving up. Fostering has filled our home with so many blessings and so much joy. It made this last miscarriage alot easier on me knowing I already have a beautiful baby girl waiting for me and 3 handsome boys who need me. Good luck in your journey. I prey that god gives you the strength and wisdom to make the right decision for your family.