I am so depressed today and i don't really have a reason to be. I am on cd 24 and still no signs of af. i took femara cd 3-10 and O'd on cd 17 I could be pg this month however rather than be happy at the possblity i am upset today. My dh took my 11 year old step son to his mothers house(his ex-wife) who has a beutiful 4 year old son and and precious 3 month old baby girl. He comes home and tells me how happy a baby she is and that she was giggling and all I wanted to do was cry. I want a baby so bad and just thought of him with somebody else's baby in his arms makes me want to cry. I know it is a dumb reason to be jealous but I can't help it. I have some days where all I want is to be around my friends baby's to fill the viod and other days where just the sight or thought of anything baby breaks my heart. Please tell me I am not crazy and that some of you feel this way to.
I bet your hormones are messing with you, but even if they aren't, almost ALL of us trying to conceive have periods where we are jealous of any woman that's pregnant or is toting around a small child. There are a ton of threads (mostly in rant, I think) with women asking exactly what you're asking, and tons of replies saying that yes, I've felt that way too. So, yes, it is completely normal and totally understandable.
I just wanted to join in and let you know that you aren't crazy! I have the baby blues all the time! I may be only 23 but I've been looking forward to settle down and have a family since I was 16. And it isn't happening any time soon by the looks of things. I understand when you say some days you want be around your friends and their babies to try and fill that void; but on the other days just the sight/thought of a baby breaks your heart into a million peices. My senior year of high school 3 of the girls had kids; now over 3/4 of my entire graduation class has kids and it just crushes me to think that those people get to have kids and I don't. I haven't taken any fertility drugs for a couple reasons, I can't afford them (saving up for adoption) and my father forbids me to take anything to help me get pregnant.
Do you, or anyone else who reads this, have parents that ask you when they are going to be grandparents? I have an older sister that has 3 kids; but they live a couple states away and I live here; so my dad asks me on a monthly basis when I'm going to make him a "proud grandpa" again. That is something else that just crushes me!!!
Good luck to all and baby dust for all TTC!!!!!!
__________________ Renee (Nay) 27 & Jeff (DH) 28
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my "kids" 1 retriever Lucky; and 1 Goldendoodle Fozzie
Dx: PCOS March 13, 2000
Other Dx: PTSD, Depression/Anxiety, Fibro, Sleep Apnea, High BP
Rx:Metformin 1500mgER, Prenatal Vits, Provera 10day
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Thank you so much for your thoughts they do make me feel so much better. I to have been planning for a family since i was 16 when my best friend had her first baby. I understand the presure of parents asking to be grandparents because my mother wants grand kids so bad and it just me and my brother. Unfortuntly him and his wife can't have kids she had a hysterectomy(my have mis spelled). And they don't want to adopt so it's all left to me to give my parents grand kids. Dh is not willing to consider adoption because he doesn't see where that will help, because i still will not have a child i gave birth to so he thinks my step son should be enough and on some days he is, but he has another mother and i didn't raise him he was 8 when dh and i got married. I hope all goes well for you i will say my prayers for you all and thank you agian for the postive thoughts.
You're not alone on that one... I go through the same thing...
I think you need to talk with your DH and where you stand when he takes your step-son to see his mom... Maybe your DH just doesn't know how much it is hurting you when he talks about the baby...
((HUGS)) to you and good luck, sending lots of baby dust your way for that BFP!!!!!!!!!!
__________________ Me: 35 H: 34
DD: Rachel - Born March 6th, 2007
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Do you, or anyone else who reads this, have parents that ask you when they are going to be grandparents?
Every day my mother places her grand baby order...ok maybe not every day but it seems that way...I'm like mom...you know I have PCOS remember? She too thinks that it's "all in my head" I think that the lack of PCOS awareness can be attributed to the lack of sensitivity....If only non PCOSers could walk a mile in our shoes...*sigh*
I have my days when I'm at peace with this dis-order and I have my days when I soak my pillows with tears...I have been with DBF for 2 years and have always eluded the "children talk" more out of denial and fear...I didn't want to acknowledge the fact that I may not be able to bear children...We finally had the talk at the beginning of this month and I explained the role PCOS plays in my fertility and he simply responded...You'll never know until you try...so we are ttc #1 and I am scared but with his support and the support I've found on this website, I think I'm ready to give it a try....
I know it is heartbreaking at times...Just last week my cousin gave birth to a beautiful baby boy and I was so afraid to hold...Didn't think I'd be able to keep my whirlwind of emotions in check but the minute I looked into his eyes...It all made sense...Sure the journey to mother hood will be a rough and tiresome one for us, and unfortunately, some of us may not get there on the path we wish to use...But I feel as though babies born to mothers with PCOS are special in their own right; we want them sooo badly there isn't a doubt in my mind that those children will receive nothing less than unconditional love and admiration....Not saying non PCOS mothers short change their children in that department, but motherhood doesnt come to us effortlessly and you do appreciate what you have to work for more than what is given to you...
I love my child(ren) beyond articulation and at the present moment he/she/they are merely hopes and dreams...It is ok to feel sad...Just don't let it consume you...We all have a story to tell and PCOS and all its aliments are character builders....
Peace, blessings, and baby dust to you all....May the most high provide us all with a prosperous New Year
How are things for all of you guys? Today is going better for me; I've got the baby "hopes" instead of the "blues" today; luckily! I've started making a plan for myself on how to lose weight, slowly, and then I'll go from there!
Baby dust for everyone in the New Year!!
Take care!
Nay
__________________ Renee (Nay) 27 & Jeff (DH) 28
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my "kids" 1 retriever Lucky; and 1 Goldendoodle Fozzie
Dx: PCOS March 13, 2000
Other Dx: PTSD, Depression/Anxiety, Fibro, Sleep Apnea, High BP
Rx:Metformin 1500mgER, Prenatal Vits, Provera 10day
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I also have the baby blues, & just all around depressed since Thanksgiving. I had a bad acne breakout & lots of chin hairs pop up around mid December. Then AF came on Christmas Eve & lasted a week. Boy that wore me down!
Then @ Christmas time & New Years to be around my family & friends w/ their babies. Oh and then on Dec 29th my neighbor had her baby boy *shakes head*.
I mean I do feel blessed to have my 7 year old daughter! But when my husband and I got married and talked about our future together... I thought by the age of 33 I would have 3 children, possibly more. But it does not look like that will happen unless it is through adoption.
__________________ Topeka Teri To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
You need more baby dust! Seriously I've been hearing from a fair amount of ppl that when they started looking into adoption or stopped trying...that was when it happened. Good luck to you though!!!! Hopefully the new year is a new start for all of us!
__________________ Renee (Nay) 27 & Jeff (DH) 28
My Newfie (Lisa) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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my "kids" 1 retriever Lucky; and 1 Goldendoodle Fozzie
Dx: PCOS March 13, 2000
Other Dx: PTSD, Depression/Anxiety, Fibro, Sleep Apnea, High BP
Rx:Metformin 1500mgER, Prenatal Vits, Provera 10day
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Baby blues 
I am so depressed today and i don't really have a reason to be. I am on cd 24 and still no signs of af. i took femara cd 3-10 and O'd on cd 17 I could be pg this month however rather than be happy at the possblity i am upset today. My dh took my 11 year old step son to his mothers house(his ex-wife) who has a beutiful 4 year old son and and precious 3 month old baby girl. He comes home and tells me how happy a baby she is and that she was giggling and all I wanted to do was cry. I want a baby so bad and just thought of him with somebody else's baby in his arms makes me want to cry. I know it is a dumb reason to be jealous but I can't help it. I have some days where all I want is to be around my friends baby's to fill the viod and other days where just the sight or thought of anything baby breaks my heart. Please tell me I am not crazy and that some of you feel this way to. 
