Baby blues. Anyone experienced them? how to cope?

cyster · 10-26-2006, 04:38 PM

My baby is 2 weeks old today. I started feeling depressed since last 1 week. Have had occasional crying spells and feeling anxious that everything is changing around me and I hv no control over my life. Biggest fear is DH and I are drifting apart and will never have our close moments ever. I don't understand why I feel this way because the decision to have our baby was carefully thought and planned. I am sleep deprived and feeding every 3 hrs. Yesterday I didn't feel like feeding and although I did, I feel so guilty about having these thoughts. My baby seems to be cribbing a little and he slept with my mom yesterday. I feel sad. Am I being a bad mom? Do I need treatment or will this go away on its own?

SarahJ · 10-26-2006, 05:36 PM

(((HUGS))), Cyster. I can totally relate to what you're going through. With DS it seemed like I woke up on a totally different planet...nothing tasted the same, nothing smelled the same. I cried every night for at least 6 weeks. You can't rationalize what you're feeling -- its totally hormonal. Give yourself a break. I am really glad for you that you have help from your mom.

It really helped me to get some professional help. I had a few sessions with the therapist and never even needed to go on meds. It helped me find the joy in my new baby which is so important. Call your OB for a referral and please don't feel funny about it. It is really so common.

Please know that you WILL feel better. I got pregnant again before DS was even a year old and while I am scared about the depression that might happen after db is born, I know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

There will be for you too!

Best,
Sarah

brown092901 · 10-26-2006, 08:12 PM

Hey Cyster,
I can totally relate to your feelings of being a bad Mom. I had terrible baby blues with both my kids. I cried all day for weeks on end with both pregnancies. I felt like I lost all coping skills.

No one ever told me that you don't feel all *parent-y* and bonded to your baby right away. I felt little to no connection to my baby and secretly hated all the time I had to spend feeding. I remember cringing inside every time my husband would say "I think she wants to eat...." I felt like screaming "Well, TOO BAD!".

Awful, right?

Surprisingly, what really helped me was making sure I got outside every day in the sunshine for a little while. I have no idea why that helps, but I found it was very easy to go days on end without stepping foot outside.

It did get better. I ended up needing some medication when I had my second child earlier this year, but with my first, I did feel better after three or four weeks.

Please remember to take care of yourself as much as you can. You and your baby have a very long life ahead of you, and these few hard weeks will soon be in the past. You aren't a bad Mom.

Amanda

brown092901 · 10-26-2006, 08:12 PM

Hey Cyster,
I can totally relate to your feelings of being a bad Mom. I had terrible baby blues with both my kids. I cried all day for weeks on end with both pregnancies. I felt like I lost all coping skills.

No one ever told me that you don't feel all *parent-y* and bonded to your baby right away. I felt little to no connection to my baby and secretly hated all the time I had to spend feeding. I remember cringing inside every time my husband would say "I think she wants to eat...." I felt like screaming "Well, TOO BAD!".

Awful, right?

Surprisingly, what really helped me was making sure I got outside every day in the sunshine for a little while. I have no idea why that helps, but I found it was very easy to go days on end without stepping foot outside.

It did get better. I ended up needing some medication when I had my second child earlier this year, but with my first, I did feel better after three or four weeks.

Please remember to take care of yourself as much as you can. You and your baby have a very long life ahead of you, and these few hard weeks will soon be in the past. You aren't a bad Mom.

Amanda

Keela · 10-26-2006, 08:51 PM

I can relate also. With my last pregnancy, I felt like I was in a complete fog! I would drive my son to preschool and wonder how I was driving...it was like an out of body experience. I also had strange thoughts about my baby and had NO idea where it came from. I sometimes felt like I had a double personality. So, it's not all about bonding with your baby. Take care of YOU so you can take care of him.

As for me, I somehow pulled it together enough to talk to my dh about it and then I talked to my doctor. I started on antidepressants. Don't be afraid to talk to your doctor or to take medication! I have tried to go off of my medication several times and it was hell.

Hugs!

makeitsomeday · 10-31-2006, 06:04 PM

I can truly relate to what you are going through. I felt so overwhelmed. Please talk to someone about it, and don't hesitate to let your Dr know.

It does help to get out into the sunshine, and don't turn down help from someone you trust to help you with the baby, do you pump? Maybe you can catch an extra nap while the baby is being fed your breast milk via bottle. Things like house work and laundry can wait, you need your strength to take care of you so you can take care of the baby. It will take sometime for you and your husband to adjust, this is a big event in your life, and things do get better. Please don't feel guilty about this, just reassure your husband about how much you love him, and a few minutes of cuddle time with him might just help you feel the closeness you are longing for.

With every child I had (four kids) I went through this. After the last baby I had I was driving somewhere to just get out of the house. I remember feeling the depression coming on strong and I cried out to God please don't let this happen again, I can't deal with this anymore, and God instantly healed me. From that day on the post-partem blues went away. Thank you Jesus. I hope you are feeling better, I will keep you in my thoughts and say a prayer for you.

cyster · 11-01-2006, 08:32 PM

thanks girls. i am feeling slightly better but not the best yet. Now the blues don't stay with me continuously but has become more like an on and off thing. I hv help for house work etc. so dont need to worry about it. i think the overwhelming feeling is more because i keep thinking about other things like how different my life has become, will I ever find time with DH alone to go shopping and be carefree. i know it is not possible now, but i somehow find it difficult to cope with the fact. worst times are during the nights and early morning when I need to wake up for the feedings and my heart starts racing. i want this feeling to go away and love DS unconditionally, not blame him for changing our lives.