Baby Showers?!?!

eor517 · 03-24-2006, 09:08 PM

I have been ttc for a year. I have one little miracle already. I got pregnant with him after 3 years of trying. After 6 years of trying to get a diagnosis, I was finally diagnosed on 2/27 with PCOS. So frustrating.

Now, my sister-in-law, (please read the "blessed one") is 7 months pregnant. When She told me, She said "I feel bad that I got pregnant so easy and you have such a hard time" UGH!!! She has done nothing but complain. "I don't want to LOOK pregnant" "I hate this dark hair that I'm getting" "I don't want to look like a mother" " But I wanted a girl"

Next weekend I have to go to her baby shower. I told my husband that I don't think I could handle it in my present state. He told me that his sister would be hurt if I didn't show up. WHAT ABOUT ME? does my mental health not matter?

It is only this one baby shower I feel this way about. I am happy for my other friends who are pregnant (4 of them) especially for the one with PCOS who after the 3rd and final IVF attempt is having twins and is relishing in every last moment of being pregnant.

The thought of going to this one baby shower makes me physically ill. I am getting really frustrated and depressed about this infertility and I know his sister is just going to rub it in again. Can anybody relate to this or am I just crazy?

penguinlover · 03-24-2006, 09:32 PM

I'm going to play the devil's advocate here. This is the way I see it.

How is anyone going to know how you feel if you don't communicate with them?

If what she is doing bothers you so much that you don't want to go to the shower, then why don't you talk to her about it? If you don't go to the shower, then what reason are you going to come up with? I'm guessing your SIL doesn't know that you are so upset with her. Obviously, it's not about baby showers -- it's about your SIL.

If something bothers you to the point of being extremely noticeably, then nothing is going to change or get better unless you communicate.

I believe you need to get a grip on your feelings and your TTC before they engulf you. It appears that all you can think about is yourself.

ahydock · 03-24-2006, 10:14 PM

Maybe you can look at this as a way to celebrate this new life that will be your nephew. I know you may find it hard to swollow that you SIL is such a jerk and says stupid things, and she may not even appreciate the miracle she has been given....but that baby should not suffer for it.

Be a good Aunt and lavish that baby with love...starting now! I hope your SIL comes around and learns to say things in a different way.