DH and I had our 2nd loss yesterday (2/14/05) I was only 5w 6d but still hurts very bad. I had to "fight" with the Dr's office to do a beta for 2 weeks. I think if they would have done the beta and a P4 when I called the first time this *may* have been prevented. I guess we will never know. I am just very very sad right now.
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__________________ Adrianne 31, DH 44 - married 6/01 - 2 DSDs (13 & 15)
Gabriel born 19w5d 11/15/04 due to IC. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
I'm sorry you're here again. I hate that any of us have to be members of this club.
Maybe you should get a new doc for next time around (but please don't go for it until you're really ready - heal first).
__________________ Dominici was born May 2006!
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Miracle Baby Boy Rivelino, born too early to live on October 6, 2004 at 24 weeks and 6 days. Never to be forgotten, always to be remembered, forever my source of inspiration.
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Roxie - We are all praying for you and your dh. That you will have the strength to make it through another devistating loss. I hold my children that have passed in my thoughts and prayers. I can picture ours playing together in heaven. Big hugs cyster. I am here for you anytime if you need someone to lean on.
I AM SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS AND THE PAIN THAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH NOW. ((((HUGS))))
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Carey(31) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Paul(43)
Married 7-25-02
PCOS Diagnosed Nov 02'
Bi Polar Diagnosed Feb 08'
Current meds~ Lithium&Celexa
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pa1nter thank you. How did you handle all of your losses? I don't mean to sound rude or anything but I feel like I am going NUTS! With my first one I needed a D&E and this one I don't. Yesterday was terrible! I was home alone and scared out of my mind. I called DH on his cell and he didn't hear it 3 times so then I call MIL and she lives like 3 or 4 blocks away and am thankful we bought our house close to the in laws (never thought I would EVER say that) as my beta went from over 4,000 Wed to only over 7,000 on Fri by Monday it was only over 1,000. I want testing done but I don't know if my Dr will go for it. Either way I am going to change Dr's very soon. ANy advice from anyone as to how I can deal with this saddness? Or what I can do? THanks
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Roxie - I don't deal with it very well. I still have my days of constant self-pity. Today for example. But today is my due date so it was expected. With my loss of Alex I had to have a D&C. I woke up in the recovery room and had an anxiety attack. I even asked for my baby's remains, although I have no idea what I was going to do with them. They didn't give them to me btw. My ob-gyn was great and right there by my side in the recovery room, and was able to give me a shot of Xanex. I was also give a rx to take home. With my loss with Sydney, only two months later, I still had some Xanex left and took it again. Honestly without it, I don't think I could have made it.
If you feel like you cannot handle it, don't be afraid to ask a health professional for some help. That is what they are for. There is nothing wrong with needing help. The Xanex worked wonders for me. I am not saying to go out and demand Xanex, but if the anxiety is too much it couldn't hurt. I was also given something for depression, I cannot remember what it was, but I never took any of it since I went right back to TTC.
One thing that I have heard many cysters say, is to not try again until you are ready. For me it was easier to go right back to it because it took my mind off the losses. I need that.
As for a new dr, I think that would be a good idea. I amnot saying that your doctor caused you to lose the baby, but earlier b/w couldn't have hurt anything. After lossing Alex, I couldn't go back to the same dr, because stepping foot in her office, which is where I found out that Alex had passed, was just to much for me. I did recieve excellent care with both losses/ But it is natual for us to question everything. I still think if I had done this or that differently I would be holding my baby. But there is no way to know that, and torturing ourselves with the what ifs does noone any good, especially you. One insightful cyster said to me once to not worry, because worrying would not affect the outcome.
Ok cysters I called my Dr for a note to go back to work I am no longer bleeding and don't want to take all my vacation days like this (as they did last yr with my 1st loss I was out of work for 6 weeks) This time I have been off 6 days and only have like 4 vacation days left. Even when on a medical leave they use your vacation days .... So anyway I asked about the 2nd bloodwork they took. (They took 2 one I knew was the beta) the other was just to check my blood type. Ok now you tell me can your blood type change? As if they looked in my file they could have seen my blood type. ANyway I asked about a P4. She said we NEVER check that. I said "WHAT?!?!?!" Cysters am I right to be mad? With having PCOS should they have checked that? Even when I asked? I know alot of cysters have a low P4 , right? I go to see him 3/1/05 for a check up. I want answers am I wrong?
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You have every right to be angry. Especially with a previous loss, and your asking them too, the idiots should have definantly checked your P4, regarless of the fact that you have PCOS, you have had a loss before. And because you have PCOS. We tend to have progesterone problems. Dumb A$$e$. Sorry, but stuff like that just makes me so mad.
I totally understand. After my losses I was angry at everyone. I was angry the most at God. I know that sounds awful. But all I could think, is why do you take my children from me, when you know I am a good mother.
See my parents keep foster children, so I see what so many of these children have went through. Believe me there is stuff that happens that you can harly believe, stuff you don't want to believe. And right after one of my losses, the mother of 4 of the children that my parents had gave birht again. It was very hard for me to understand why God didn't take her child instead of mine. She failed every drug test that she had during the pregnancy. I just didn't understand why she deserved to keep hers, while I didn't. I mean what did I do?
Unfortunantly we will never know the answers to most of the things that we question. The only thing that has made it easier for me is knowing that if I didn't lose those babies, I wouldn't be pregnant with this one.
I also read on here somewhere two great sayings that meant alot to me while I was greiving. I may not say these exactly right, but here is what I remember.
An angel wrote down my child's name down in the book of life and closed the book, and whispered to beautiful for earth.
The actual saying is much prettier, but that is all that I remeber. Someone may chime in here and be able to say it better. The other was this.
God created my children so perfectly that he decided to keep them.
Again not the exact saying, but the best that I can remember.
I just wanted to say i was so sad when i read on another thread about your loss...i'm so sorry. I remember the issues you had with 'that nurse'...and i agree with Clarissa...as i always do...and hope that you find the answers you need with an office who is knowledgeable and sympathetic...
big big hugs to you and your in my thoughts...take care
__________________ Kim 40 PCOS/IR/IC/PIH/PTL
DS6yrs-preemie-30w)Twins-Met,Prometrium, Puregon Injectibles DS3YRS
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TTC#4 w/Injectibles-IVF conversion/CERCLAGE/6.2mo bedrest/emerg c-sec at 38wks
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My doc did check my P4's, but then refused to do a cervical U/S when I needed one. I would find a new doc and set up a consultation appointment. Take in all of the research/labs/ records you have, write out a plan for your next pregnancy, and make sure the new doc's on board.
OOHHHHHHHHHH, I'm so annoyed right now. It is possible that you lost your babies for reasons other than low progesterone, but now you'll never know. And the stupid doc could have found out so easily! Hugs, Roxie. I still blame myself for picking the idiot doc!
PaInter, I'm still mad at God. That's causing even more problems between DH and I. He's turned toward God, and I've turned away. I just don't have much to say to Him right now, my entire life has been crappy, I'd actually given up on having kids, He gave me a miracle baby, then He took him away. Until I work it all out, I'm not going to church, which is ticking off DH. I figure God understands what I'm going through, though, and He won't hold it against me in the long run.
__________________ Dominici was born May 2006!
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Miracle Baby Boy Rivelino, born too early to live on October 6, 2004 at 24 weeks and 6 days. Never to be forgotten, always to be remembered, forever my source of inspiration.
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Back again (8 months later) 
