bad dr appt today

EmmaKD · 08-19-2002, 09:05 PM

Hi...
Today was a bad day. It was recommended after my PCOS dx that I get an ultrasound done to see exactly what WE're dealing with. I initially said no, but after 4 months I made the appt. Today was my very first ultrasound. (I'm only 19) Everything was running smoothly until she looked at my left ovary. Even I, with an untrained eye, could see the mass. I knew it was solid. The clear "string of pearls" on the other ovary was expected, but this was so different. I told myself I didn't know what I was talkign about and that it would be fine, but afterwards we had the consultation. The doctor, RNP, and RN all sat there and looked at me for a second. It's a tumor. It's big. It'll have to be removed. My doctor says that he's going to do everything he can to save the ovary. Why do they keep using the term WE anyway when they talk about what WE'RE doing? HE'S not doing anything... HE'S getting paid to tell me all this crap. He can go home at the end of the day to his cute little BMW and cute little mansion and I cried the whole way home. I have an incredible relationship with God, and I hate this bitter feeling. I shouldn't be angry with God. But I didn't do this to myself... and that makes me MAD! It's only been three hours... maybe I'll feel better once it all settles in. But i can't help but think: wasn't PCOS enough?? what's next??! I'm so sorry to be so negative. I'm sure that tomorrow I'll be Emma again, but for now... I'm just so mad. Thanks for listening, sorry it was long.

Bibi · 08-19-2002, 09:10 PM

{{{{{EMMA}}}}}

Bless your heart....it is totally ok that you feel the way you do, you just had a lot of news for one day...it's ok to be mad and be angry but don't loose your faith in God...I like to think that God gave those who HE felt were blessed this syndrome...I am having a bad day too but just reading through posts and getting feedback has already lifted my spirits...Hang in there and know that there are a lot of people who care about you and what your going through....Bibi

Lendi · 08-19-2002, 11:28 PM

Awww, I'm so sorry. What a rotten day you've had. I'll be praying that your ovary can be saved, but mostly that you can receive some peace from the situation. Take care of yourself, and feel free to rant some more if you need too. Let us know what happens, but please, don't give up on God. Hugs, Lendi

taah · 08-21-2002, 03:17 AM

I am sorry for the news you recieved today.... and we totally understand your anger right now... it was a shock for you.. feel free to come back and rant some more if you feel like it.... I will keep you in my prayers.

TERRA

ILLINOISHUSKER · 08-22-2002, 07:13 PM

Hi emma,

I can totally understand your anger and frustration. I want to tell you taht i have reproductive cancers that run in my family too.

When i was 21, back in 1990, i had a huge tumor/cyst on my left ovary that was 22 cm in diameter. The dr. in houston told me that it had a 15% of malignancy, i freaked and flew right home to nebraska. I went to a specialist and he said he didn't think it was cancer at all, b/c cancer is usually very small and breaks into several little nodules and multiplies. So have one single mass is not a bad thing in the scheme of things.

I had mine laproscopically dealt with. They popped the big bad thing, and sucked it thru the tubes, basically in layman's terms. THey then washed my insides with something, so taht scar tissue wouldnt build up. I lost my left tube and ovary to it.

I was diagnosed with pcos in May of this year. I was on bcp for 10 yrs.

After 6 weeks on glucophage alone, and with only one tube i've conceived and am due in March. I've conceived before, but it ended badly. Needless to say, you can do just as well with one working ovary.

I will say a prayer that all works out well, and I know how very scared you are!! My biggest suggestion, find the best dr./specialist to take care of this and quiz the hell out of him!

PM me if you have any questions or anything!!

Angela77 · 08-22-2002, 07:33 PM

I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I'll keep you in my prayers!

Angela

Lendi · 08-22-2002, 09:58 PM

How are you doing today. Better I hope. I've been thinking about you. When will you be seeing your Dr. again? I'll keep you in my prayers, both for a safe surgery? and for a peaceful relationship with God. Let us know how you're doing. Hugs, Lendi

EmmaKD · 08-22-2002, 09:58 PM

Cysters,
I just wanted to thank you all for the incredible amount of support i've received from you. Every day gets better for me and I'm now confidant that come rain or shine I will not lose faith in my God and His amazing plans for us all. Of course, that doesn't mean I won't come back here crying when things are hurting... AND when i'm having one of those 'fat days'. I'll keep you posted, I go back to the DR next month. Pray for shrinkage!

((((HUGS!))))