Beyond depressed about everyone else having babies

csp178 · 10-06-2008, 11:40 PM

I have hit rock bottom. How does everyone else cope with the rest of the world having babies and the reality that we may never be able to conceive? 99% of my friends have two or more children. I have about 10 friends who either recently gave birth or are pregnant. I am constantly faced with baby this or baby that and I cannot take it anymore.

I made the HUGE mistake of including in our Christmas letter last year that we would be starting to TTC (this was before I got my PCOS diagnosis) and now I am bombarded with the question.. so are you preggos yet?

(((scream))) I just don't know what to do anymore. None of my friends have any fertility issues so they just do not understand.

Thanks for listening to me vent.

a_beautiful_disaster · 10-07-2008, 12:38 AM

The best piece of advise I can give, is to take care of yourself first. PCOS is harder than hell. I wasn't diagnosed until 2003, was pushing 400lbs, no period, testosterone through the roof, and enough insulin in my body for 3 adults. I know how overwhelming it is when you're first diagnosed.

Chris and I didn't even begin the TTC process until 5 years after my diagnosis. I knew with everything out of control, that it would be hard if not impossible for me to get pregnant. It was a long, hard road, I won't lie. With the aid of Metformin and Byetta, I've lost well over 100lbs, my periods are regular, and my insulin is normal. The second month we tried, we became pregnant. I was in complete shock, but knew that since my body was functioning "normally" if I was going to get pregnant, it would either be easy or not at all. If it hadn't happened, I was at peace with the option of adoption.

I guess what I'm getting at is, I know it's depression, but please don't let it get you down. There is hope, don't give up! *hugs*

Policewife · 10-07-2008, 01:10 AM

I understand hun... I feel the same way.. And the kicker.. I was so close.. and I lost it. I was stupid and told EVERYONE that I was pregnant. What an a** I felt like when I had to tell them that I lost it.. All my gf's have babies , 3 of them are pregnant right now about to pop. We have a 15 year old family member right now pregnant, guess what, her due date is the same exact day mine was, so I look at her and think OMG my stomach should look like that, and my ultrasound should look like that.... Hang in there, there's never anything anyone can say to make you feel better. Its hard I don't deny it, and it outright sucks but all we can do is keep trying and hope for the best.

wannabmom · 10-07-2008, 09:58 AM

hi
i just want u to know tat ur not alone. its like living in a night mare n its horrid. Iv had frends much younger than me tell me when they want to get pregnant and bingo they have it just as they want it. Iv cried enuf and felt miserable but there is nothing we can do, working in an environment realted to medicine I just know tat PCOS is not the end of the world. We gotto learn to come to terms with ourselves. Im praying each day for all the babies and moms to be and all of us here fighting this battle. Just try to stay positive and am sure tat some day soon ull be blessed with an angel.

take good care of urlself
will think of u in my prayers

megandmike2024 · 10-07-2008, 04:02 PM

I know what a hard time you are having, and hun I used to be just like you. I couldn't stand to see pregnant women everywhere I went! Then one day low and behold right after I had a miscarriage I found out my sister was pregnant..and let's just say she's the type of girl you see pregnant who doesn't deserve it at all....I used to cry every night for what I didn't have and how crappy I THOUGHT my life was...

Something changed tho...

I realized if I stay negative that it WILL never happen...but if I stay positive and hopeful then I at least have a chance....we all have a chance...look at all the cysters that have had one or more kids.

Don't get down on yourself. God didn't give you an impossible task he gave you a challenge... a test if you will....and you can either sit there and wallow in self pitty about how your lifes going no where OR you can stand up and say "PCOS won't get the best of me" and do something about it! I believe that if you want a child you will have one but concentrating on other peoples pregnancys and what you don't have will just make that road harder to walk along. I understand where you are coming from more then you know hun and I'm sorry you feel this way. Cheer up there is a lot to be happy about! Everyday month you see a BFN you are one month closer to seeing that BFP! Just hang in there!

I know those are probably all things you DON'T want to hear and I don't want you to think I'm pushing anything on you. I was never religious I really still am not...but when I was at my lowest on my journey for a child one of the guys I worked with saw how depressed I was and sent me a youtube video and it was about not letting others steal your joy and the preacher was Joel Osteen...you might want to check him out...he really helped me understand my life and what I need to do. He's on youtube type in Don't Let Others Steal Your Joy...it's 30 mins...I gave it a chance and it helped me...but it's not an over night thing...you have to give it time...

After watching him I started eating right and exercising 40-60 mins a day and I stopped seeing pregnant women everywhere and I'm concentrated on making MY life better for ME...and just not concentrating on a baby right now...I'm going to get healthy go off BCP and let the rest fall into place. I don't think he's for everyone but you could give it a chance...you never know!

Hope this helped!

If you ever want to talk I've been thru it all and I'm always here for any of my cysters!

ILuvMySweetGirlz · 10-07-2008, 04:26 PM

(((hugs))) I am so sorry you are feeling down. I can totally relate. It seems like people all around me are pregnant or having new babies. We have been trying for 22ish months now to have a baby. I lost a baby in October of last year and it is so hard to cope sometimes. I still feel so sad. I do daycare and it was really hard for me to decided to start with the family I am watching because their baby is the same age my baby is supposed to be. =/ Just know you aren't alone!

Kristi

SweetLady9783 · 10-08-2008, 09:55 PM

I know exactly what your going through. Everytime I think I might be preggo the test always lets me down. It's so hard to sit and think that maybe me having a baby just isn't going to happen. I just keep lifting my head up and I tell myself that it will happen when it's suppose to. We will keep trying and I hope you do too.

gatornurse · 10-09-2008, 12:25 AM

I hear you hun. Before I found out about the PCOS, I just assumed I would get pregnant immediately when we decided to start a family. And when it didn't happen, I too started to feel the pressure. My BFF's were pregnant, and every monthly BFN was SO painful during that time. I found it hard to experience the joy that I should have felt with my friend's growing bellies, nurseries and deliveries, etc. I had wanted our children to be the same age, so they could be playmates, and felt horribly inadquate that I couldn't make that happen.

However I'm pregnant now (finally), and a whole NEW group of my close friends are pregnant at the same time! And honestly, looking back, I am in a much better position NOW than I was THEN. I took some AMAZING trips with my dh, met some career goals and almost finished another educational degree. So the timing for me wasn't right before. I beieve that there is a great plan for things, and it's hard to see it when you are in the middle of it. Hang in there. It WILL happen.