bi vs lesbian - Page 2

TruthInLies · 06-19-2008, 01:20 PM

I'm a newbie, but just thought I'd throw my 2 cents in:

rainbowed is a lovely word. I'd always gone by queer, but rainbows are pretty!

I'm not entirely sure why people are consistently so offended by confusion. If everyone was questioning there sexuality, taking the time to explore and figure out what works for them (rather than that ugly heteronormativity we've got going on), wouldn't we be a healthier, happier world?

Yes, some people who call themselves bi are experimenting and wind up landing on one side of the proverbial fence after a little clarification. Others don't. I don't understand why either one should upset us.

We are family. A family of siblings, perhaps, or cousins. But no one should be made to feel like they don't fit, have to choose, or aren't defined appropriately to be at home here. I don't really care for acronyms. But I say, bring the whole fricking alphabet out to play if they want to. Especially here. Everyone is welcome in my book.

Much luv,
Truth

TruthInLies · 06-19-2008, 01:34 PM

I'm a newbie, but just thought I'd throw my 2 cents in:

I like the term "rainbowed." Usually go by queer, but rainbows are pretty!

I don't understand why people are consistently offended by confusion. Yes, some folks who come out as bi are experimenting and eventually wind up on one side of the proverbial fence, with a little clarification. Others don't. The labels are inadequate. That much is apparent. If everyone were questioning their sexuality, taking the time to try on different ways of being (instead of that ugly heteronormativity thing we've got now), wouldn't we be a healthier, happier world?

We are family. Perhaps siblings, or cousins. Lots of infighting. But family nonetheless. Especially here, everyone should be welcome. I'm not much for acronyms, but I say bring the whole fricking alphabet out to play. No one should be told they don't belong because they aren't defined enough, or don't fit into this new norm we are working on creating. We are already defined by what we are not. Let's make sure that this is still a home for everyone who doesn't fit in.

Much luv,
Truth

my2babies9806 · 07-07-2008, 09:20 AM

I'd like to chime in here about a few things. I do not consider myself to be Bi. I am straight. I have been with a few women, and I discovered it wasnt for me. I WAS confused bc i thought that if I thought another woman was sexy or attractive I must want to be with women. Well, after being with 4 or 5 women, always thinking the uncomfortable feeling and general unhappiness was just from not finding the right one, it occured to me that I do not want a relationship with women. Not romantic, not sexual, nothing like that. It took a while, but I came to see that you can look at a woman and say "wow, she really is beautiful. I love her hair and eyes." and it doesnt mean you want to "do" her. It can mean just what you said...that she's very pretty. I consider myself to have been bi curious, and that curiosity led me to the realization that I was straight and totally prefer men. ON THE OTHER HAND, my dh is bisexual. I did not know that when we first got together. He thought I would think less of him or leave him. I actually only found out about a year and a half ago. I found out bc he was cheating and I caught him. Our marriage almost ended, but not bc of him being bi. Because he lied and cheated. So we went to marriage counseling for 6 months, and he was shocked that I could be so ok with that side of him. We have what you would consider an "open" marriage. By that I mean that I DO allow him to be with men sexually. But he doesnt just sneak around. He tells me when he's talking to someone, I meet them, he tells me where and when he plans to "hook up" with them, and when it's done he comes straight home to me. We agreed that if I am ever upset or jealous or uncomfortable that he will not go and he will stay with me. He explained to me that I have 100% of his heart and soul. That he loves me and our kids UNCONDITIONALLY and FOREVER, but that this is just a sexual desire that he has. He is still very, very attracted to me and shows it everyday. Our sex life has actually improved TREMENDOUSLY bc now he doesnt always have the stress of hiding all of who he is. We have a deep, AMAZING connection now. He is equally sexually attracted to men and women. That does not make him experimenting or confused. He has been this way since he was a kid. And he's 33 now. I explained everything bc I wanted to show a person who WAS confused and experimenting (me) and a person who KNOWS what they like and it happens to be both men AND women (my dh).

irishangel · 07-08-2008, 12:36 PM

I am bisexual I've dated both and am attracted to both equally I consider myself rainbowed as well I believe the rainbow encompasses any one who is glbt but then again what the hell does a label mean I was having a convo with a gay coworker and a straight one the straight one called me confused when she heard I was bi but the gay guy understood and then I found out he preferred to be considered bi

Salty · 07-18-2008, 11:06 PM

well I have never posted on this forum but here it goes...

I think that sexuality and love are two different things. Personally I have been with my husband, he is devoted, wonderful, trustworthy, into me. I always know where he is, etc, and he is bi. I knew it when I married him. I don't necessarily believe that he just grew out of it or whatever euphamism you would use.

We have been married 6 wonderful years and together 7 and he hasn't been with a man in over 9 years. He even states that he has no sexual attraction to men anymore although he might comment that one is cute. I knew him that way and loved him regardless because of the man he is.

We don't let a lot of people know of his past, he prefers it that way and Lord knows that the pentacostal parents of mine don't need to know. His mother and family is aware..they've known him longer but they can vouch that when he loves a person, its one at a time and I guess he is just loving me longer. He has always dated both but more women than men.

I have gotten flack, sure, over the years that I must not be that secure in my own self to take on this kind of love, but its quite the opposite. I am a strong, powerful, professional, loving woman who could do fine by myself but I am better with him. I didn't find out on Jerry Springer

I went into it with full knowledge but deeply in love, that is secure to say the least.

Here it is 7 years later and still happy as ever. There was a time he would claim bisexuality and have no issue with it but now he would tell you he has no desire. His choice; I do think that bisexuality exists; nor do I think they are confused or "sorta gay". We heard that as well from his friends that are bi or gay, but who have now shown us nothing but love and are amazed at our relationship.

p.s. I am not bi..I am a flaming heterosexual but on the other hand, I think women are beautiful, even erotically so. Nor have we ever had a threesome (although in my past I have, just not with girls) Sometimes I even get mad when a lesbian doesn't come on to me when I am at a gay bar watching a show.

my2babies9806 · 07-21-2008, 08:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Salty

well I have never posted on this forum but here it goes...

I think that sexuality and love are two different things. Personally I have been with my husband, he is devoted, wonderful, trustworthy, into me. I always know where he is, etc, and he is bi. I knew it when I married him. I don't necessarily believe that he just grew out of it or whatever euphamism you would use.

We have been married 6 wonderful years and together 7 and he hasn't been with a man in over 9 years. He even states that he has no sexual attraction to men anymore although he might comment that one is cute. I knew him that way and loved him regardless because of the man he is.

We don't let a lot of people know of his past, he prefers it that way and Lord knows that the pentacostal parents of mine don't need to know. His mother and family is aware..they've known him longer but they can vouch that when he loves a person, its one at a time and I guess he is just loving me longer. He has always dated both but more women than men.

I have gotten flack, sure, over the years that I must not be that secure in my own self to take on this kind of love, but its quite the opposite. I am a strong, powerful, professional, loving woman who could do fine by myself but I am better with him. I didn't find out on Jerry Springer

I went into it with full knowledge but deeply in love, that is secure to say the least.

Here it is 7 years later and still happy as ever. There was a time he would claim bisexuality and have no issue with it but now he would tell you he has no desire. His choice; I do think that bisexuality exists; nor do I think they are confused or "sorta gay". We heard that as well from his friends that are bi or gay, but who have now shown us nothing but love and are amazed at our relationship.

p.s. I am not bi..I am a flaming heterosexual but on the other hand, I think women are beautiful, even erotically so. Nor have we ever had a threesome (although in my past I have, just not with girls) Sometimes I even get mad when a lesbian doesn't come on to me when I am at a gay bar watching a show.

Hi!! I normally dont post here, either. But I'm glad you did. I was starting to wonder if my husband and I were alone. I agree that it's very possible to be in a loving, honest relationship and even marriage with someone who is Bi. There's no confusion. My husband knows that he LOVES me and is SEXUALLY ATTRACTED to both men and women. There really IS a difference. He and I are very happy, and I'm so happy to meet you and see that you are your husband are, too.

Salty · 07-21-2008, 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by my2babies9806

He and I are very happy, and I'm so happy to meet you and see that you are your husband are, too.

thank you...I appreciate that. I am a firm believer that bisexuals can be monogamous. They just kind of keep themselves open to love. Some might call that greedy but I kind of wish I was that brave.

my2babies9806 · 07-21-2008, 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Salty

thank you...I appreciate that. I am a firm believer that bisexuals can be monogamous. They just kind of keep themselves open to love. Some might call that greedy but I kind of wish I was that brave.

I totally agree. They really DO get the best of both worlds. They are really free to find love, sex, intimacy, whatever ANYWHERE they can find it. Its really rather enviable.

justduckie · 07-27-2008, 01:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stellarnix

I'm bisexual and don't consider myself borderline anything. I am fully into both. Labels don't always fit well, like badly cut jeans. You settle for the closest pair, and continue to look for what is best for you.

I love that jean analogy! Thats great!

closer2mod · 07-31-2008, 11:02 AM

Good to see others with PCOS and with all ranges of sexuality as well, and to accept and discuss it so openly and without brashness from others is wonderful

I consider myself bisexual. I have had relationships in the past mostly with men, granted none of them were particularly "manly" I guess

I also had a few relationships with other women. I dont really care what gender somebody is, I can be attracted to them regardless to that fact. Currently I have found my SO whom is female and I cannot be happier. We are so much alike its always been scary and get along wonderful

Dory62879 · 08-10-2008, 10:49 AM

Borderline anything just seems a little silly to me. You don't need to be labeled to define who you are. Someone who asks you if your borderline must just simply be naive. I don't mean that in a mean way, they probally are new to the idea of homosexuality and are just curious. As a bisexual woman I'd just like to add my input. I adore all people regardless of what sex they are. I can be equally happy in a heterosexual relationship and a homosexual relationship. Sometimes the label "bisexual" can lead people to envision 2 females who are just looking for attention from men and are just bisexual because its the "IT" thing to do. Sometimes I'm hesitant to use the term "BI" because of that reason but I'm proud of it. And for those that don't think there is a such thing, your wrong. I love people, and don't discriminate in any way. LOVE LIFE!!!! Smile Always

alwayzrn · 08-20-2008, 11:53 AM

This has been the most interesting and polite conversation that I have ever seen on this board and it is really refreshing. My dh is totally straight and I have been with a woman and attracted to others, but I would probably ever pursue a long term relationship with one. That could also be that the one I did have an encounter with tried to friggin rape me when I told her that I didn't want to have a sexual relationship with her. I believe women are beautiful creatures, but I am just attracted to the masculinity of a man. Maybe I am just in love with my dh, but I do appreciate a beautiful woman!