 The Bill Gates of Heaven
The Bill Gates of Heaven
When Bill Gates died, he went up to Heaven, where Saint Peter showed him to his house; a beautiful 20 room house, with grounds and a tennis court. Bill Gates was pleased, and spent many months enjoying the amenities of Heaven.
One day, he was enjoying one of Heaven's many fine parks, when he ran into a man dressed in a fine tailored suit.
"That is a nice suit, my friend," said Gates. "Where did you get it?"
"Actually," the man replied, "I was given a hundred of these when I got here. I've been treated really well. I got a mansion on a hill overlooking a beautiful hill, with a huge five-hundred acre estate, a golf course, and three Rolls Royces."
"Were you a Pope, or a doctor healing the sick?" asked Gates.
"No," said his new friend, "Actually, I was the captain of the Titanic."
Hearing this made Gates so angry that he immediately stormed off to find St. Peter.
Cornering Peter, he told him about the man he had just met, saying, "How could you give me a paltry new house, while you're showering new cars, a mansion, and fine suits on the Captain of the Titanic? I invented the Windows operating system! Why does he deserve better??!!!!"
"True," Peter replied, "but the Titanic only crashed once."
Psalm 119:71
A Minister who preached on Psalm 119, verse 71 - "It is good for me that I was afflicted"- illustrated his sermon by saying that whereas growth sometimes takes place best in sunlight, at other times a shady spot is preferable. He then continued, "Whereas we plant roses where they will be exposed to sunshine, if we want fuchsias to do well we plant them in the shade."After the sermon, from which he hoped some of the members would derive comfort, a lady thanked him profusely. His heart glowed until she added, "Now I know what is wrong with my fuchsias." | 
