Bitterness & jealousy

sweetlainie · 10-15-2002, 07:14 PM

Cysters,
I have been ttc for almost 3 years now...no luck. I am currently undergoing treatments for infertility, no luck so far but I am REALLY trying my best to keep the faith and trust the Lord. I get very discouraged lately though- when I hear about 12 year olds getting pg and I hear about a baby found in a dumpster somewhere or left in a car. I get mad and I ask God "How could you bless THEM and not me when I would be a wonderful mother??? If the time is not right for me, Lord, how can it be right for them???" And then I get mad at myself for doubting God. Then I appologize to him and ask for his forgiveness, then I am fine. Then the next day I hear about another friend or family member getting pregnant, and the whole cycle starts over again. My own best friend just had a baby Sunday and I haven't called her to congratulate her yet or gone to see the baby. I just can't...my husband doesn't understand that. He is like "why are you so bitter? why can't you be happy for her?" and I honestly want to be happy for her but i'm not, i'm too busy being jealous. Everytime I see a pg woman or a woman pushing a stroller I get mad or upset (usually both). I desperately want to stop being like this...
Have any of you that are ttc experienced similar feelings towards others who are able to conceive easily? I just feel so mean. I hate this

Thanks for listening!

Crystal67 · 10-20-2002, 09:35 PM

Hi sweetlainie, I just wanted to let you know that I just went through a similar circumstance. I found out this week that my sil and cousin are pg with their 2nd and 3rd children. I was feeling very, very jealous/envious of them even though they both had difficulties as well getting pg. What really helped me was talking about it with a friend and then I went to my Bible and started reading, also I prayed/cried/etc. and asked God to give me joy for these people who were being blessed. I then thought about all of the things in my life that I have to be thankful for, for all of the blessings and answered prayers I have already received and it reminded me that God is faithful. Our prayers will be answered - but it may not be in the exact way that we expect. I really think that reading the Bible helps me a lot and I keep a prayer journal and write my feelings/prayers in the journal. I hope this helps and I will keep you in my prayers!! Crystal

danisa · 10-21-2002, 12:27 PM

Sweetlainie~

I know what you are going thru. I have been trying to get pregnant for 2 years now and no success yet. I am going thru fertility treatments and would be having an IUI, Lord willing Saturday, if I have any follies by Friday. But any ways, this year there have been 14 babies born in my church and most of them are from couples that attend our Sunday School class. My husband and I are the only ones that do not have any kids yet

It hurts quite a bit when there is an announcement in our class that somebody is pregnant. Also just a few weeks back, I found out my boss is pregnant. She actually got the call from the doctor in the office and shared the great news with me.

My husband and I get down when we know of somebody that is pregnant but we try to built each other up with prayer and continue to let God be in control. Only HE knows when and what is best for us. There is times when the answers to our prayers are Yes, No, or not yet. Prayer is very powerful so have a group of people prayer for you and hubby. God's will is that we all have children so keep that hope

If you would, read Hebrews 11:11. When I get down, I read this passage because it continues to give me hope knowing that HE is Good and Merciful and that if I continue to trust in HIM he will take care of my needs and will bless me. Also I think of Hannah, in the Old testament, that could not have kids but yet God blessed her with Samuel and he became a great man! (I Samuel 1:8-28).

I have been praying for a little girl and I am planning on naming her Hannah because it means GRACE and that is exactly what she will mean to me, that GOD was graceful and merciful enough to bless me w/ a child!

I would keep you in my prayers. You are not alone!

Serving Him,
Larisa

HISIRISHGEM · 10-21-2002, 07:42 PM

There are plenty of women in my life that have had babies, my sil has found it to be a race between whom can conceive more...she's on her 4th and I am still 0. While it hurts sometimes, I would never let my feelings of bitterness take over someone I loves time to be happy with their baby.

Don't take this the wrong way, but you aren't the only one that is having trouble ttc......there are many of us out there. Yes it hurts...but being mad because someone else can, is downright selfish....and is only holding you back from being happy. I'm coming to terms that with the fact that it is taking longer than expected.....or maybe even not at all.....but I would never wish this on any woman.

I'm not saying you have no right to be upset. I see what your talking about, theres a woman here with 5 children and pregnant with her 6th and is smoking through the whole pregnancy saying she only wants it for more money from welfare. Thats sad. Your mad at people or kids having kids and being in that situation?? Well be there for those babies when their parents choose not to be there anymore, or because they've been taken awya from an abusive household.

My husband and I are fosterparents in a program for teenagers where we are fosterparents to two beautiful girls who have been neglected and abused. Put more effort into helping these kids instead wallowing in self pity which will only make ttc even harder. Worry makes everything harder.

If you need me, just mail me. Please don't take this hard. I'm not trying to put you down. I've been there...and in some cases still am. Just want to help you overcome this thought process and turn it into something positive which will not only help you, but someone else like you out there.

I will pray for you!

In love and peace