Going through a really rough time right now

I have been going through the most nightmarish 2 weeks of my life. The morning of June 11th I got a call that has turned my world upside down. The Aunt I mentioned in my previous blog passed away of a massive heart attack. Thing was, we didn't even know anything was really wrong. I had just seen her Monday at another one of my Aunt's surprise birthday parties and then by Thursday she was gone. I didn't find this out till I got to the hospital and I was there with the family when the Doctor came in and said they couldn't save her. Talk about a big blow and shock to us all. We are all trying to cope right now with losing the glue to our huge family. I always figured she'd be here to see my first child being born. My Aunt Gina was not just my Aunt she was my 2nd Mom. I had told her she would be in the delivery room along with my Mom the day I ever got to have a baby of my own. It tickled her. She said that she hoped and prayed my first child would be a girl. B/c I told her I only want just one miracle and I'd be happy. Now she'll never get to do that and I'll never get to experience seeing her face again. She understood what I am going through b/c she herself had the same problems that I am facing. Except when she was younger the remedy for PCOS was hysterectomies. So she adopted b/c she has always loved kids. She'd do anything to help any child. She was our strength and our comic relief. She is and always will be very, very dearly missed. I also found out I of course was not pregnant. Maybe by next year I'll get to have that kind of exciting news. Maybe my Gina (pronounced Jenna) will talk to God for me and help me out here with a child. I can only hope that she is watching over us all now. She really was our families everything. Well I am going to go. God Bless you all and I pray for each and everyone of you to have healthy little miracle angel babies.