blues over IVF/FET success? (sorry, looong)

nylon · 11-13-2003, 09:29 AM

Hi,

I know I sound crazy for some of you, but I have been pretty down since I found out our FET succeeded. I'm now 8wks full and my #1 u/s is next Monday. I should be happy but I just cannot relax.

I feel terribly inferior now.
We have told just to couple of good friends of ours, who know what we have been through. Some of our "friends" are not (and will not be) aware of our treatments, if it is up to us. Some of them have already been boosting over their incredible fertility as we mentioned we have been trying #2 for a while. I also know (or am paranoid) that some of them would look down at us if they knew we needed the helping hand with this pregnancy.
Some beautiful new friends have evolved and I'm so happy for them. But so depressed over some of the "good old ones" that have turned out not so good and understanding. e.g. one said to me, "ohh, how did you dare to tell the news this early!" I told her yesterday. I was like, early? I thought my friends would be strong enough to hear my news good or bad. If this pregnancy is not meant to be, then I'd just have to tell the bad news. A friend would understand, not be gleeful over it, right?

I have not been able to tell my family nor sisters either, as they are really strict in religion and would not approve any interference to "God's plan". Especially my dad has been nagging for the past 2 yrs, that people who use contraception will go to hell, basically. No matter that I've told him we really have NOT used any! My only option is to lie and give the idea that this was just a happy and long waited surprise...

I'm really bitter over the fact that our infertility problems appeared now; why me? why my DH? why no miracle happened? how come we had our DD naturally? why did we have to go through the failed IVF? is my FET baby going to be fine? will I ever deliver this one? I'm like bursting inside...

I guess I'm truly hormonal but I hope I can start feeling better real soon.

Am I the only expecting mama who does not know how and when to be happy over the fact, that the infertility treatment actually succeeded?

Nylon