Well, I knew my feeling okay wouldn't last long. Today I've been "mopey" since I got out of bed. I tried calling Eric Friday night, and left a message. Just wanted to talk, no big deal. Well, he didn't call back and didn't call back, so I tried calling again yesterday from here at work. No answer. Tried again this afternoon. No answer. He's off work yesterday and today, so I don't know what to think. I just don't get it. Tomorrow morning I'm *supposed* to go see an attorney for the divorce, but I don't know if I'm going to keep my appointment. He said if I didn't file, he was going to. I jumped on it because for some reason, I just don't want him to do it. Well, now I don't think I can do it. He's totally cutting me out of his life, and it scares the hell out of me, and it hurts, bad. I'm trying ladies, I really am, but it just really hurts. I know nobody said this was going to be easy, and life goes on, blah, blah, blah, but dammit!
I am sorry you're going through this. I know you are having trouble accepting the whole divorce situation- I can imagine I would too. However, it seems your estranged DH is not willing to work with you and try again. If he will not consider anything other than divorce, than your best bet probably IS to go ahead and file first.
I really wish this whole situation could work itself out in a way that would preserve your happiness. Unfortunately, there's nothing really any of us can do for you but offer you a supportive ear and a shoulder to cry on.
It's just a very hard thing to accept. I know, unfortunately, thousands of women, and men, have been through it, but I had no idea how difficult it was going to be. Someone you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with, have children with, grow old with. And although I know I'll get through this (I have no choice, do I?), it's going to be a long, bumpy road. I'm so sorry for being redundant ladies. Seems like everything I post on here is a whine-fest about this situation. I appreciate the support I've been getting from all of you.
Don't feel like a whiner- you have every right to vent and cry and be frustrated. let it out- and we will be here to listen and support you!
You are entitled to your feelings!! Hope tomorrow is a better day.
Aimee
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me: 30
DH: 31
DD: *Eleanor Alexandra* 13 months (born 13 weeks early on January 31, 2004@ 2lbs 2.6oz)
Nobody can make you feel inferior
without your permission - Eleanor Roosevelt
Dear Megan,
(((((BIGHUGS)))))
So sorry you are going through all this!
If you don't feel like being the one to do the filing maybe you should leave that up to him.
I have no idea what the laws are in your state, but here you can get some help at the courthouse if you can't afford legal help.
Right now my hub and I are in the process of dissolving our marriage, I am still researching because we have a lot of legal issues to deal with. And even though we both agree that our marriage is over and that we will be better off without each other ~ it still really really hurts! So I can only imagine how painful this must be for you not wanting this to happen!
Anytime you need to vent or "whine" about it please don't hesitate! Don't hold it all inside, that's not good for you!
My parents are wanting so badly for me to move back home with them. I'm seriously considering it (I think a few of you know why). Here's my dilema (sp?) with that: some people think that would be running away from my problems. The baggage would just follow. Second, the reason my parents gave me was so they can "help me straighten out my life." Okay, my parents are WONDERFUL people. They'd give anyone the shirt off their back. But I've done a lot of STUPID things the past few years, made some BAD decisions, when at the time I swore I was "following my heart." If I were to go back, I'd be leaving behind EVERYTHING. Belongings, and not to mention Eric and Tyler. Also, I'd be starting completely over, under my parents' roof. New job, new apt, and new belongings. Inga, how are you and your ex doing this?
Dear Megan,
Well our situation is very strange!
In the end we will both have to move far away from this area, I have lived here since I was 3 so that will be very hard! He will probably end up in South Carolina so that he can be near his father and bro. And there (on the east coast) we will be able to get seperate houses, here we just can't afford to go it alone. I got a job offer in Maine, but don't know if I could tolerate the winters or the job. So I am not sure where I'll end up eventually, but where ever I end up, I'll be happier because I won't be stuck in this bad relationship and my new life will be like a great adventure.
If you want, I'll send you a very loooong email about all that.
I am glad that your parents have offered to help you out, but in the end you have to decide if you want their help, under whatever conditions they have or if you think you can do it by yourself. It's all up to you. You have an awful lot to take into consideration. Try to look at all your options, write down the pros and cons about things and then weigh them carefully.
No matter what you do you'll find plenty of Cysters do care about you and will be there for you when you need us!
May I ask why people would think that you are running away fromyour problems. From what I have read/seen, it is your estranged husband that is not wanting to recover the marriage. You are not running from anything.
As I told you before, I have had to make that hard choice about living with my parents again. They didn't try to help me with my problems, but they offered me a place to live and get my life back on track. I hope that you will find peace soon, I'm really concerned about you.
__________________ Sheri (39)
DS 12 on 4/28
DD 5 on 5/2
DD 3 (11/18)
Baby Girl Charity Rests in God's hands (5/15/03 @ 17 weeks)
Emergency D & E and Emergency Hysterectomy on 5/15/03
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Megan, just want you to know my thoughts are with you. Would your parents allow you to live your life, but be supportive? If that's the case then that might be your best alternative. You would not be running away! You would be walking to a new life. That is very different. I just want you to know that I care. Be kind to yourself and give yourself some time. Hugs, Lendi
Breakdown 
